To Build a Home
by Maeve Morgan
Summary: Thrust suddenly into the 21st century, Steve Rogers needs to adapt to his new life and build himself a home. Luckily he can count on his new friend and partner, Natasha Romanoff. A collection of moments between them or about them, starting after The Avengers up to Endgame. Companion piece to Lights Will Guide You Home. Very slow burn, eventual Romanogers.
1. A Job Offer

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: This is a companion story of sorts to Lights Will Guide You Home, but you don't need to read that to follow this. I've alluded to a few moments between Steve and Natasha over the years, so I thought of a few of them that I wanted to explore in a little more detail.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_1\. A Job Offer_

Steve Rogers sat at his kitchen table of his SHIELD provided apartment in Brooklyn, his brow softly furrowed as he stared at the screen of the laptop Tony Stark had given him, looking at an article about the Cold War. Ever since the battle of New York a couple of weeks before, he'd spent his time recovering and trying to get acclimated to his new life in the 21st century. Despite their early mutual animosity, he and Tony quickly grew to call each other friends, especially after fighting side by side against an army of aliens from outer space (space! A part of him still couldn't believe that had actually happened).

He'd been spending a lot of time at Stark Tower with Tony and Pepper, but Steve still felt a pang in his heart whenever Tony's mannerisms reminded him forceful and painfully of Howard and all they'd shared together in their fight during World War II. For Steve, it was like only last month he'd sat at a table across from him as they'd strategized on how to take down Schmidt and suddenly here he was, living in the future and talking to his kid. As the couple would be busy today in meetings with the contractors for the renovations at the Tower, he'd decided to spend some time on his own at his apartment, keeping up with his own research and attempts at handling the new technology surrounding him. He'd always been a quick learner, so he knew eventually everything would stop feeling so strange to him, but it would still take a while.

He looked up as there was a sharp knock on his front door. Looking out through his peep hole, he saw what looked like a woman standing in the hallway, though she had her back to him so he couldn't recognize her. She looked like a redhead with straight hair coming down just below her chin and was dressed casually in dark jeans and a tan leather jacket.

"Yes?" Steve said politely as he opened the door ajar. The woman then turned to look sideways at him and he recognized the face of Natasha Romanoff, prompting him to open the door fully. "Agent Romanoff?"

She gave him a soft smile that was almost a smirk as she also turned fully to face him. "Hey Cap. Do you mind if I come in for a sec?"

"Yes, of course. Please, come in," he said, standing aside and gesturing at her to enter his apartment. As he closed the door, he turned back to her and said, "I'm sorry, it took me a moment to recognize you, with the new hair." She quirked an eyebrow up at him and he felt his face growing hot. "Not to say that it doesn't suit you. I mean, it looks good on you. Not that the old look─You look great, ma'am." Steve interrupted his own rambling, swallowed hard and just stood before her, crossing his hands behind his back before he could say anything else to embarrass himself any further. What was with his brain whenever he was standing before beautiful women?

"Thanks," Natasha said simply, amused at the way a soft blush seemed to creep up his neck and face. Taking pity on him, she decided to add in a conversational tone, "I needed the change, after being all over the news. It's no good if a spy is too recognizable."

"I see," Steve murmured, though he didn't really see anything. Her new bright red, straight chin length hair seemed way more noticeable than the dark red curls she sported before when he'd first met her. But he wasn't a spy, so what did he know anyway. Remembering his manners, he added, "may I get you anything? Coffee? Water?"

"I'll have coffee, thanks." She said and followed him into the kitchen, sitting down at the table as he pulled out a chair for her and set about fixing them both a cup of coffee.

"So to what do I owe this visit?" Steve said as he sat down opposite her with a cup of his own after she refused any sugar or milk.

She brought the cup up to her lips to take a sip before answering him. It was good, strong coffee. "How have you been doing?" She asked instead of answering him right away, looking attentively at his face to read his expression.

"I've been doing well," he answered with a slight sigh. "Trying to keep busy and catch up on what I've missed so far." He gestured at the laptop and assorted books stacked neatly on the table. "Stark has been helping me, teaching about new technologies and all of that. He's been only slightly condescending, too." He added with a soft smile.

"That's good," she smirked in reply. She could imagine Tony rolling his eyes insufferably whenever Steve didn't get one of his jokes or references. "You should probably keep a list of priorities on what to catch up. I'm sure people will have all sorts of suggestions for you."

"Ma'am? I don't think you came here to talk to me about a list of things I missed in the last 70 years," Steve said, trying to cut to the chase and find out what exactly she'd come to do here.

"Okay, if we're going to work together, you have got to stop calling me ma'am," Natasha said and her eyes seemed to sparkle in amusement at him then. "It makes me feel ancient."

"Work together?" Steve raised his eyebrows at that.

"Yes. I'm here to offer you a job." She reached into the pocket of her jacket and slid an envelope across the table at him. As he opened and scanned through the document quickly with his eyes, she elaborated. "My partner is taking an extended leave of absence, to recover from the harrowing experience of having a Norse god messing with his head, so I need someone to work with me. Director Fury decided it would be a good idea to get you working with us at SHIELD full-time, if you'd like it."

"He did?" Steve raised his eyes from the letter to her, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Then why isn't he the one making the offer?"

"He thought you would be more likely to accept if I was the one that came to you, especially since it was my idea," she told him softly. Even after how things had ended with the Battle of New York, Fury knew Steve still had trust issues with him, but the Captain had trusted Natasha so it had been a safer bet to send her in.

"You recommended me," Steve noted, looking attentively at her and attempting to read her, though he already knew it was very hard to do so. She seemed to only let out what she wanted him to see. "Why?"

"Do you even need to ask?" She raised an eyebrow at him, somewhat surprised at his question. "We worked great together in the field during the battle against the Chitauri and you're Captain America. You were made for working at SHIELD."

"Really? How so?" He seemed more curious to know her reasoning than doubtful.

"Your old Colonel Phillips and your squad, the Howling Commandos, helped build SHIELD after World War II, along Stark's father," she said, gesturing with her chin at a stack of SHIELD files he had on the table next to the laptop. "This agency is your legacy, Cap."

"I'm a soldier, not a spy," he said gravely, and Natasha almost smiled at it, thinking back on the conversation she'd had with Clint on the helicarrier right before they joined the Battle of New York. Oblivious to her train of thought, Steve continued with his own point. "I don't know if I would fit in running intelligence ops. I'm not exactly inconspicuous." He finished with a rueful smile. Ever since the battle, people seemed ridiculously aware of who he was, so he was recognized nearly every time he walked outside now.

"Agent Barton and I were used to running two-men missions or working separately on our own," Natasha explained. "By contrast, Fury would have us working closely with STRIKE Team; they're an elite black ops unit. We need someone to lead, and that's you alright." She paused then decided to add one more thing with a small smile. "Plus I trust you, and I can't say that about many people."

Steve sat back and just watched her for a moment. Then he gave her a curt nod. "Alright. I accept, then."

"Really? You don't want to think about it?" Natasha tilted her head a little and quirked an eyebrow up at him. "You might need to move to D.C., to be closer to headquarters."

"There's nothing keeping me here, and if I get to fight to protect the world, then it's good enough for me," he said with a casual shrug then he narrowed his eyes a little at her as a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "And I thought you were trying to convince me to work with you?"

"Didn't think it would be so easy," Natasha said, a sly smile taking over her lips. "Thought I might have to seduce you a little."

"Agent Romanoff─" He said as he struggled to keep another blush from erupting on his face.

"We're going to be partners, you get to call me Natasha," she smirked at him then. "And relax, I'm just teasing you, soldier." Her eyes sparkled mischievously up at him.

Steve merely tightened his jaw and narrowed his eyes at her once more as she just quirked an eyebrow up at him. It looked like working with Natasha Romanoff was going to be a new challenge all onto itself.


	2. Dating

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: This comes immediately after the end of the Captain America: Homecoming comics, set between The Avengers and Captain America: The Winter Soldier. In that story, Steve and Natasha work on a mission in Brooklyn to prevent the abduction of a Nobel Prize winner by a terrorist group.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_2\. Dating_

"What do you know? You _can_ go home again," Steve said, looking over his shoulder at Professor Amanat comfortably giving her interview as she enjoyed her very own glass of Brooklyn's best milkshake.

"Well, with a little _help_," Natasha commented, holding the door open for him as the two of them took to the streets of his old neighborhood once more. "Speaking of which, I decided I'm gonna help you."

"Help me?" Steve raised a curious eyebrow as he glanced down at her. "With what? Our mission just got wrapped up."

"Not a mission. Or maybe something more of a personal mission," she elaborated, tilting her head a little to the side in thought. "I'm gonna help you find a girlfriend."

"What? A girlfriend?" Steve's eyebrows jumped up on his forehead nearly reaching his hairline at this.

"Yes," she said simply, turning to him with one of her almost smiles. "I can see how much you liked taking us out for milkshakes and showing me around your old neighborhood, even if it was just a cover for the mission. If you had a real girlfriend, you could do all of that just for fun." She explained to him her train of thought. "I'm sure you'd love it."

"Well…" Steve trailed off, his words getting lost as he thought about what she'd said. It was true that he'd enjoyed greatly spending time with her today as a cover for their mission. But he didn't know if that was for the dating-like things they'd done or if it was for the company itself.

He'd been working with Natasha for almost six months now and even if he'd gotten to a point that he was completely comfortable around her, that woman was still very much a mystery to him. He knew exactly who she was on the field and she's also been helping him with training, SHIELD applications and protocols and getting him up to date on life in the 21st century in general, but he still didn't know a lot about her personal life. Which was why he'd never acted on this attraction he'd felt for her.

It was really hard for him to get a read on her. Natasha loved to tease him and she'd also on occasion drop by unannounced at his place to spend time with him. One Saturday she had just showed up with a six-pack of her favorite beer and Chinese take-out.

"What are you doing here?" Steve had raised an eyebrow at her, even as he opened the door to let her in.

"You said you have no plans today, so I decided it was time to work on that list of yours and introduce you to the wonders of Star Wars," she'd said, walking in unceremoniously and making herself at home, kicking off her boots after she set the beer and cartons of food on his coffee table then she turned on his smart TV, going right into Netflix and logging into her account, quickly finding the mentioned movie series.

"How did you know that was on my list?" He'd asked her with an amused smile.

"I saw it the last time you took it out to write something down," she said with a smile of her own. "And I didn't want you to watch it in the wrong order and have it completely ruined."

"Wrong order? Wait, why are you starting with episode IV?" He'd frowned at her as he looked at the TV screen.

"See, I knew no one had explained it to you," she'd rolled her eyes slightly, sitting down on the couch and patting the place next to her. "Clint did this for me as well, when I defected the KGB and joined SHIELD, so I thought it was a nice tradition of sorts to keep up. You have to watch it in chronological order, otherwise it will get ruined for you, and episode IV was the first one out."

"Why would they start a movie series with the fourth episode?" He'd still been frowning in confusion even as he sat down next to her.

"Because. Just hand over a carton and watch the movie," she'd rolled her eyes at him once more even as she sat back against the cushions.

"Yes, ma'am," he'd done as she'd said and smiled at her, receiving a slight glare back as she hated when he'd call her ma'am, and soon they'd spent a rather lovely evening together watching the original trilogy.

There were other times she'd drop by or accompany him out during their days off to a bar, museum or some other place just so they'd hang out. But she'd never invited him over to her place and sometimes she'd just disappear and he would not see her outside of work for weeks on end. To be honest, he would've liked if he could get to know her better and date _her_, but he was pretty sure there was something in SHIELD's guidelines against getting involved with an assigned partner. And at times he'd also suspected she was already in a relationship with Agent Barton, and now here she was offering help to get him a girlfriend, so he guessed that pretty much put the matter to rest.

"So what's your type?" Natasha asked him, bringing him back to their current conversation even as she unlocked the doors of the car and they got into the vehicle.

"My type?" Steve simultaneously furrowed his brow and raised an eyebrow at her in confusion.

"Yes, what type of women do you prefer?" She elaborated patiently, even as she started the engine and expertly maneuvered the car out into traffic, keeping her eyes trained on the road as she kept on talking to him. "Any special attributes I should be looking for? Blondes or brunettes? Girl next door or take a walk on the wild side type? Smart? Demure? Shy? Loud?" She glanced at him with a smirk as he kept silent before all her questions.

Steve could only shake his head slightly in bewilderment. "You know, I never really thought about all of that, Natasha."

"You must have dated women before, back in the 40's." She raised an eyebrow challengingly at him.

"I did." He set his jaw rather firmly and avoided looking at her. Despite Tony's constant jokes to the contrary, he wasn't a virgin yet his dating history wasn't the greatest, so he didn't particularly want to get into that with Natasha.

After the serum, Dr. Erskine's assassination and feeling despondent that he'd missed his chance at getting to fight in the war, he'd settled for working with the traveling show with the USO and even shooting a couple of movies to promote efforts for the war. With his newfound physique and fame, he'd actually been a little in over his head with so many beautiful women suddenly giving him more than the time of the day when before they would not even spare him a second glance. So he'd lived a series of short-lived romances with a couple of the girls from the traveling show (until the director had absolutely forbid them from getting involved with him, as it was causing a lot of backroom drama), actresses in Hollywood or fans that would practically accost him after the presentations. But he'd never actually got to dating one of them, not in the traditional sense of the word. And of course none of them had meant half as much to him as what he'd felt for Peggy, even if the two of them had never actually been together.

If he would think about it, that would be his type: strong-willed, fierce, beautiful no-nonsense women who weren't afraid to put him in his place. And it was just his luck that Natasha Romanoff fit the bill, yet she didn't seem interested in him in the slightest.

"I could help you find someone suitable in the 21st century," Natasha said, once more bringing him out of his private reverie.

"I think I can find myself a girlfriend just fine," he rolled his eyes good-naturedly at her. He appreciated the thought behind the gesture, but getting her to find him a girlfriend could be something that might get awkward pretty quickly, all things considered.

"C'mon! This would be something like my pet project," she insisted a little, laughter in her voice. "Doing my part in helping Captain America get settled with his new life."

"Well, that's actually the problem," Steve confessed with something of a sigh. "Women see me and they seem to want to date Captain America, not Steve Rogers."

That had been true back in the 1940's and it was still true today, he thought as he remembered that waitress from the restaurant in Manhattan near Stark Tower. He'd saved her during the battle against the Chitauri and when she saw him again one day when he'd been visiting Tony she'd insisted on taking him out to thank him for it, but the whole time Steve had felt like he was abusing his position as her rescuer and that she wasn't actually interested in him, but the fact that he was Captain America and one of the Avengers.

"How is that a problem?" Natasha furrowed her brow at hearing this. "You may be Captain America, but before that you're Steve Rogers."

"Exactly, I'm just a kid from Brooklyn," he said, shaking his head a little. "When I'm on a mission, I put on the Captain America mantle and fight with all I have. But at the end of the day, I'm just me. I'm afraid I just end up disappointing their expectations."

"In what world would a woman be disappointed in dating Steve Rogers?" She countered, raising a disbelieving eyebrow at him as she took her eyes off the road and concentrated fully on him for a moment. "If that happens, then obviously she's not the one for you. You see, this is why you need my help, Steve." She finished with a smile.

"I'll think about it." Steve conceded with a slight smile of his own, feeling encouraged by her words, and pretty soon they'd arrived at the airbase to catch the Quinjet back to D.C.


	3. Partners

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: This happens during Captain America: The Winter Soldier, right after the mission on the Lemurian Star and before Natasha arrives at the hospital following the attack on Fury at Steve's apartment.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_3\. Partners_

It was late evening when Natasha finally got back to her apartment in Washington D.C. As she walked in, she couldn't help but slam the door behind her and the scowl she had on her face as she glared at her living room. She felt very frustrated and she wasn't used to feeling this way.

Damn Steve Rogers. Actually, damn Nick Fury, when she thought about it. It wasn't her fault the Director had set her out with a different assignment inside their mission and that he hadn't felt the need to share that with Rogers. Why was the Captain getting all mad at her for following orders? He'd been in the Army, he should understand that better than anyone.

The flight back from the Lemurian Star had been a tense one, as Steve had refused to talk to her any further about what had happened until they were back at the Triskelion. She could appreciate that, as even if they would usually run their missions with STRIKE Team, the partnership the two of them had was on another level and she didn't need them going into that with the whole team hearing about it. But it still didn't make the tension between them any easier. When they were finally back at HQ, she offered to take care of the mission report as an olive branch of sorts, and he'd sighed, thanked her and said he wasn't mad at her. Then he'd stalked out towards Fury's office to have it out with the Director.

Even if he hadn't said the words, she'd heard them loud and clear: he wasn't mad, but he _was_ disappointed. Honestly, having him mad at her would've been preferable. She could understand anger, it was one of the most basic human emotions. Now disappointment was something else. And having Steve being disappointed in her was causing an anguished stirring in her chest that she couldn't quite understand. Hence her frustration.

Maybe this partnership hadn't been such a good idea, after all. It wasn't the first time Steve had complained about Fury keeping things from him and that she'd been caught in the backlash. She'd never had such problems with Clint before. He understood the intricacies of the job and how Fury would at times need them to compartmentalize in order to achieve their goals. After fixing herself a quick dinner, she opened up her personal pad, ran the security inscriptions for a secure line and dialed her best friend. Even if it was late, he was on a time zone an hour earlier than her and he never slept early anyway.

Clint answered on the second ring, his face coming up as he looked at her with a smile. "Hey, Nat." He seemed to be walking inside his house, probably going from the living room into his office.

"So when are you coming back?" Natasha asked without preamble, raising an eyebrow at him.

He raised an eyebrow back as he sat down on a chair and put his own pad down on a table. "What, no 'hello, how are you'? Miss me that much?"

"Seriously, isn't there like a time limit for these things?" She asked with a roll of the eyes, ignoring his question and keeping to her own topic of discussion. "I doubt SHIELD enjoys paying your salary just to keep you in your house."

"Don't worry, I've been taking a few solo missions here and there," he answered with an easy smile. "I haven't been out of work all this time."

She raised both eyebrows at him at hearing this. "Oh so then it's just me you don't want to work with anymore?"

"No, I just didn't see the need to break up your current team, especially since you were so happy about how things were going," he clarified, furrowing his brow slightly at her tone.

"I wasn't _that_ happy," she sat back on her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "Besides, I miss working with you." She added with a small smile.

"Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?" Clint asked with a chuckle. Trust him to see right through her to what was actually bothering her. "What's going on with you and Cap? I thought it was working out great."

"It was, until it wasn't," she mumbled in reply, uncrossing her arms and leaning forward to support her elbows on the surface of her kitchen counter, placing her chin on her hands. "I'm starting to rethink this whole situation."

"What happened?" Clint asked with a cross between amusement and concern at her predicament.

"Nothing. I was following orders, of all things for him to get mad at me," she explained, rolling her eyes once more. "Maybe he's not as cut out to work at SHIELD as I had thought." She added as she furrowed her brow in thought.

"Uh you're gonna have to give me more here, Nat," he raised an eyebrow at her once more. "I still don't follow."

"I can't, it's classified," she said with a rueful smile. "Let's just say that Fury had me doing something during the mission that Cap wasn't aware of─"

"As usual." Clint added with an understanding nod.

"─then he found out, we almost got killed and now he hates me." Natasha summarized the situation, leaning back on her chair with a sigh as she looked out into her living room.

"I think hate might be a strong word to use there when it comes to Steve Rogers," Clint said in a light tone, "unless you're a Nazi. Or maybe Loki."

"I mean it," she told him earnestly as she focused her eyes back on the screen and his face. "You didn't see the way he looked at me, Clint." She could still picture the look on his face after Batroc had nearly blown them up with that grenade. Once more she could feel something twisting painfully inside her chest at the memory.

"Why is this bothering you so much?" He countered with a question, making a gesture with his hand at her. "It's not like you to care what other people think about you."

"I don't." She denied his accusation at once and crossed her arms defensively over her chest.

"It's because it's Cap, isn't it?" Clint said with a knowing smile.

Natasha merely rolled her eyes at him once more and refused to answer him. "Anyway, any chance Laura is gonna let me have my partner back anytime soon on a permanent basis?"

"Well, I hate to break it to you like this, but…" One of his eyebrows flickered up momentarily as he seemed to hesitate in what he wanted to say.

"Clint?" She uncrossed her arms and leaned forward once more, peering closer into the screen as if she could read what he was trying to tell her just by looking at his face.

"You might want to work things out with Steve," he said, heaving a rather heavy sigh. "We've put the possibility of retirement on the table."

"Really?" Both her eyebrows shot up on her forehead in surprise at his words.

"It's not final yet," Clint was quick to reassure her. "Fury and Hill don't even know about it, though I think they might suspect something with the amount of time I've taken off work. It's just that with everything that's happened, Laura and I have been considering our options. I've managed to invest a great amount of the money I got so far from working at SHIELD, so we could keep living comfortably at the farm and I could help out more with the kids. I've also been doing some remodeling around the house."

She was nodding along at his explanation. "So, retirement," she said, and tried to give him a smile in return.

"You did say a while ago that Cap was great to work with," he said with a casual shrug of the shoulders. "I didn't think you would mind so much."

"Well, I'm always going to miss my partner," she said and this time she did manage to give him a genuine smile.

"You got a new partner now," he countered easily with a smile of his own. "Work it out with him."

"It's different," she said, her eyebrows furrowed in concern once more. "He doesn't trust me," she added in a small voice. She didn't know why, but that was a notion that really bothered her.

Aside from these instances when Fury would give her secret side missions, Natasha didn't feel like she'd ever done anything to warrant Steve's mistrust. She could understand Tony mistrusting her, for example, as they had first met while she was undercover shadowing him. Or Bruce, who had a hard time trusting anyone for his own reasons. But she'd met Steve just as who she was and for the past two years, they had been partners and she'd even put an effort to try to be his friend yet there was always this weird tension between the two of them. It was true that she didn't typically open up to people, but that was a byproduct of her past and something she had difficulty changing. She was afraid the root cause that Steve wasn't able to trust her was exactly because of who she was: The Black Widow and her tainted past.

"Then make him," Clint countered once more with a shrug, bringing her out of her inner thoughts and back to their conversation.

"It's not that simple." Natasha couldn't help but roll her eyes at him.

"Of course, it is," he insisted on it. "I got you to trust me, remember?"

"I almost killed you," she pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him at the memory of their first encounter.

The fact that Clint had trusted her even before she'd ever given him any reason to was always something that baffled her. After they'd battled each other and she'd almost killed him before he managed to say he didn't want to kill her but recruit her instead, she'd asked him why the hell he'd even wanted to give her a chance in the first place and he'd said she'd been going off the reservation to take out human trafficking rings on her own, so he knew she had a good heart and he'd wanted to give her a chance, like he'd been given when he first joined SHIELD. From then on, she'd pledged her loyalty to him and Nick Fury and Phil Coulson, who'd backed them up and accepted her allegiance, even when most at SHIELD had thought it was a bad idea to bring her on board.

"Then this should be way easier for you, because Cap would never try to kill you," he grinned cheekily back at her.

She smiled ruefully back at him. Maybe there was some truth to what Clint was telling her. But before she could think further about that a new message pinged on her cell phone and she saw it was from Steve. "Speak of the devil," she noted with a smile at Clint as she unlocked her phone, then her face grew somber as she read the short message. "Shit."

"What happened?" Clint asked in concern, noting at once the change in her tone.

"I gotta go," she said, looking up at him as she locked her phone and put it back in her pocket. "Fury's been shot."


	4. Running

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Continuing with CA:TWS, this is what I imagined took place between their scene at the hospital and the one at the mall. After all, they changed clothes and everything, and I doubt Steve was the one to think of that.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_4\. Running_

After that tense encounter between Steve and Natasha at the hospital, the two of them were now in her Corvette driving through the streets of Washington D.C.

"You're a large, right?" Natasha suddenly said, not bothering to look at him as she kept her eyes on the road.

"Excuse me?" Steve raised both eyebrows at her, as he didn't know what to make of her question. He knew she liked to tease him, constantly, but she couldn't possibly be asking him what he thought she was asking right now. Could she?

"Clothes size," she said curtly, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye and raising an eyebrow at him. "Large?"

"Yes," he answered just as curtly, his jaw loosening up a little then tightening back up in tension at the sudden gleam in her eyes, which got him thinking she knew exactly what he'd thought about. "Why?"

"I'm mentally assessing which clothes I have at my place that fit you, otherwise we'll need to improvise," she explained, once more keeping her eyes trained on the road and watching out for any security cameras or police officers. She knew the area like the back of her hand by now and she was taking the back streets and avoiding the main avenues, but she knew they needed to be extra careful with the official alert she'd received on the manhunt for Captain America.

"Why are we talking about clothes?" Steve asked, feeling confused by her question and train of thought. "Shouldn't we be looking for a computer to read what's on this drive?"

"You're skipping a few steps there, soldier," she explained patiently. Natasha knew Steve was a master strategist in the battlefield, but when it came to blending in and going on the run she was the expert here. "For starters, we need to ditch these clothes and this car then find a public, crowded place with several exits and preferably access to the subway to read what's on that drive, otherwise the STRIKE team will be onto us before we can do anything about it. I don't know if anyone's caught on to the fact that we're together, but it won't take long before they figure it out." She'd been busy looking out at the streets, so she missed his surprised look at the notion that she would be helping him out would be so obvious. "It doesn't look like my place has been compromised yet, so we'll stop there first," she carried on voicing out loud her thoughts for his benefit. She also had a couple of safe houses in the area that they could use, but she'd really rather keep that for a last resort.

"We're going to your house?" Steve asked, once more raising his eyebrows in surprise at her. "Won't that be a problem?"

"Not for now," she assured him. "I already dumped my SHIELD phone at the hospital, so I need to pick up my back-up and a few essentials. And change clothes, of course."

"What's wrong with our clothes?" He asked, frowning in confusion as he looked down at his sweats.

"We're standing out," she said, looking at him as if the answer was obvious. "We need to blend in."

"We're standing out?" Steve raised an eyebrow at her once more, feeling rather like an idiot for asking so many questions but unable to stop himself. He'd thought he had done one hell of a job at the last possible minute with his gym clothes, as he couldn't walk around in his battle uniform or go back to his apartment.

"We look like two SHIELD operative agents going on the run. Well, you more so than me," she said, throwing a smirk at him as she suddenly pulled the car onto the curb and parked on the street. "But we need to look like regular people. Okay, the perimeter hasn't been breached and the cameras are still in place," she added, looking at a handheld device she took out of her pocket that seemed connected to some security system in her apartment. "We're good to go." Then she opened her door and got out of the car without waiting for him.

He followed her out and looked up at the building in front of them. It looked like an old industrial warehouse that had been converted into apartments, with a brick facade and big windows. "This is you?" He asked as she got a set of keys out of her pocket and unlocked the front door.

"What, not what you pictured?" She countered, giving him a smile over her shoulder as she pushed the door open and walked in.

"I didn't know what to picture, actually," he confessed with a slight shake of the head as he followed her closely. "This is nice."

"Thanks. It serves its purpose," she said quietly, pulling open the door and metal screens of the old-fashioned elevator and ushering him in. "Now get in, we need to be quick."

They rode the elevator up to the last floor and she unlocked the sole door in the hallway. As she pulled him in past the thick, metal door, she stood before an eye-scanner in the security system connected to the door then turned on an array of monitors mounted on the wall, keeping visuals of the building and surrounding streets. Next the windows got shut by what looked like reinforced black steel and they were momentarily thrown into darkness before she turned on the lights.

Steve just stood there for a moment, taking note of the high ceiling and open floor concept, as the kitchen stood to their right with a long counter and a kitchen island with a cooktop and a second counter that also served as a table with a couple of seats in front of it. The apartment was almost spartan in how it was furnished, as there weren't a lot of decorative pieces but every piece of furniture there looked highly functional and expensive at the same time, judging by the leather sofa, Persian rug and the enormous flat screen TV. Which matched what he knew of her, when he thought about it and her Corvette.

"What are you doing over there?" Natasha asked with a frown as she noticed he hadn't followed her into her bedroom, which was on a mezzanine level up a flight of stairs off to their left, and she came back down the stairs again. "Get up here."

"Sorry, I didn't know─Are we alone?" He asked with a tilt of the head as he gestured with a hand at the apartment at large.

"Yeah, of course," she answered, crossing her arms as she leaned against the metal railing and raised an eyebrow at him. "I live alone. Why?"

"Nothing, I just thought…" Steve trailed off, unsure if he should say what was on his mind, then he continued after a moment. "I thought there would be someone else here."

"Why?" She asked simply with that eyebrow still raised at him, though she could already guess at his answer.

"Well, I know this is none of my business, but what about Agent Barton?" He asked, also crossing his arms and shifting his weight from one foot to another rather uncomfortably.

"Clint? He's at his house, of course." Natasha answered with an impassive face, keeping her stance by the stairs.

"You two are not together?" Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise at that, as something in her tone of voice somehow conveyed that the idea that Barton would be here was somewhat ridiculous.

"No," Natasha said calmly, and for a moment her lips twitched up almost as if she would smile, but she managed to maintain her neutral expression. "I know most of SHIELD is under the impression that we're a couple, but we're not. We just never felt the need to clarify this, for personal reasons." She finished with a casual shrug.

It was true, the arrangement worked out quite well for them, as no one would even think Clint had a secret family out there if they thought he was with her and it also kept assholes at SHIELD like Rumlow from making passes at her, which worked out just fine for her.

"Oh. Okay." Steve said, rather at a loss of what else to say to that.

"Are you satisfied now?" She smirked at him then. "Do you have any more questions or can we get on with this whole going on the run thing?"

"Yes, sorry." He said, shaking his head lightly and giving her an apologetic look.

"Then get up here, I need to see if I have any clothes that fit you," she said, going back up to her bedroom. When he followed her up, she was already rummaging through the drawers of a tall dresser that stood by the wall, taking out several pieces of clothing and laying them down on her bed.

"Why do you have so many men's clothes if you live alone?" Steve asked with a curious frown.

"What an indiscreet question to ask a lady, Rogers," she said, not even bothering to look up at him, but he could _hear_ the smirk in her voice.

"Sorry, I didn't mean─" He said at once, already feeling his face growing hot in embarrassment at what he'd inadvertently implied.

"Relax, I'm just messing with you," she said, looking quickly at him over her shoulder with a smile before going back to rummaging through her drawers, taking out a pair of jeans and handing them to him. "Actually it pays to be prepared. Like when your partner suddenly decides to become a fugitive of SHIELD without letting you know ahead so you need to prepare in the nick of time."

"So this is all just for me?" Steve asked in surprise, feeling rather thrown at this.

"No, most are for Clint from when we were still partnering up," Natasha said without missing a beat, mentally wondering why she was bothering to lie to him about something like this.

It was true that she'd done this for Clint as well when they'd been partners, but she'd sent him most of his stuff when he took his leave of absence and then she started collecting items for Steve once they started working together. She should've just told him the truth, but the surprise and wonder in his voice had caught her off guard, and she felt safer with the white lie. _Maybe that's why he doesn't trust you, Natasha_, a voice said in the back of her mind. _Because you keep lying about stupid stuff like this._ She ignored the voice and carried on with the task at hand. She could psychoanalyze herself after they were done with this.

"Here, try these glasses on," she said, stepping up to him and holding out the dark frame with the clear lenses, standing on tiptop to place them on his face.

"I had no idea you would be so prepared to suddenly go on the run," he told her with some wonder and amazement in his low voice as he looked down at her, focusing on her green eyes for a moment.

"You never know what might happen," she said quietly, looking up at him then forcing herself to look away from his intense blue eyes and going back to gathering items for the two of them all over the room. "I never lost the habit to be prepared for everything. Also when Fury got attacked last night, I started making some preparations." She reached for a newly purchased bag next to her bed. "Here, try these shoes." She said, throwing a box at him, which he caught with ease.

He opened the lid then looked back at her. "I'm not wearing those."

"Why not?" She turned to look at him with a frown at this. "They look almost the same as the ones you have on now." She pointed with her chin at the sneakers he was wearing.

"These are made for running," he said, looking down at his shoes. "Those are just ridiculous." He raised an eyebrow at her and she could detect just a hint of a smile and a teasing gleam in his eyes.

"It's what all the cool kids are wearing," she quipped back at him. "Stop complaining, I'm trying to keep us alive."

He smiled slightly back at her and did as he was told, taking several articles of clothing she pointed out to him and heading towards the bathroom so he could get changed.


	5. Trust

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Also in CA:TWS, after they meet Fury at the bunker and before they set out to destroy the helicarriers. I'm expounding on a couple of old tumblr theories concerning their battle against the Winter Soldier (mostly about how awesome Nat was in that whole sequence; seriously, go watch that scene from the moment The Winter Soldier throws Sitwell out of the car window and everything she does, look at her eyes and how you can see everything she's thinking) and adding some comics details to Nat's backstory.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_5\. Trust_

Steve's mind was still reeling. This had to have been the most intense, confusing, mind-blowing 48 hours of his life, starting with suddenly finding Fury in his apartment segueing into his assassination to becoming a fugitive from SHIELD then going on the run with Natasha, the two of them finding out HYDRA had been hiding inside SHIELD this whole time to almost getting blown up to dragging Sam into this mess to almost getting killed (again) and finding out _Bucky was alive and the Winter Soldier_ then being rescued by Hill and finding out Fury was actually alive. He was still having a hard time processing all of this new information and focusing on what they needed to do now, but one thing was clear in his mind: no matter what Fury said, SHIELD had to go. And he was glad he could count on his friends to help him with that.

They only had about 12 hours to stop the launch of the Insight helicarriers, however he and Natasha had been up for nearly 60 straight hours now since before the mission on the Lemurian Star, so they'd agreed to take a short break to rest and recover as they were at risk of burning out once their adrenaline rush came crashing down on them. Super soldier or not, even Captain America had his limits and he didn't want to risk finding them in the middle of such an important battle.

He really should be heading over to the beds to crash for a few hours, however there was still one thing he needed to take care of before he could do that. As Dr. Fine came out of the makeshift room he'd been in stitching Natasha's wound on her shoulder, he quietly asked the man for a few minutes with his partner.

"Hey," Steve said, pushing back the hospital-like partition curtains and walking up to her bed. A short while ago he might've hesitated to do so, but after everything they'd been through it didn't feel like such a big deal as he sat down on the bed next to her facing her. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now," she said, giving him a small smile as she sat up and leaned back against the pillows. "What about you?"

"Still getting there," he answered truthfully with a small half smile of his own, but then he grew serious and cleared his throat a little before continuing. "I hate to do this, but I gotta ask: Were you trying to get shot?"

"What are you talking about?" She blinked her eyes a couple of times and tilted her head forward a little as she stared back at him.

"I know you, Nat," Steve said with a small sigh. "We've worked together for a long time now. I know that _you_ know the best way to avoid being targeted is evasive maneuver. Yet when you were running from…" He suddenly trailed off, as he didn't know what term to use. The Winter Soldier? Bucky? He just shook his head lightly to himself and continued. "Anyway, you ran in a straight line, in an open space, instead of taking cover."

Natasha stared back at him for a moment, biting at her lower lip as she thought of what to tell him. "I didn't want to endanger any civilians around me," she finally said honestly, giving him a rather helpless gesture of the hands. "If I had run in an evasive pattern, other people might get shot instead of me."

"I get that," Steve said, looking back at her earnest face, then he was shaking his head at her. "But that was extremely foolish."

"I couldn't live with myself if someone got hurt because of me," she told him quietly and they just stared at each other for a moment, before she gave him a small smile. "By the way, I owe you again."

"You saved me first," he smiled softly back at her. He knew that if she hadn't jumped into his lap and forced him forward when they had been in Sam's car he would've got a bullet in his head. Sam, too, as she'd pushed him out of the way of an oncoming bullet with her foot. This whole ordeal was making him question how he'd ever thought he couldn't trust her. But in a way he couldn't have helped it; Fury had said not to trust anyone and her secretive nature didn't put him at ease. Yet now he knew that after this was done he'd always trust her with his life.

"Let's stop keeping score, okay?" He added, still smiling softly at her. "It's not a competition and I have a feeling we'll save each other too many times throughout our lives." At least he hoped they would. He patted her lightly on the knee next to him that was under the covers. "Try to get some rest now."

She frowned at him as he made a motion to get up and leave. "Not until we finish planning."

"There's nothing to plan," Steve countered with a frown of his own, though he did sit back down on the bed. "You'll stay here with Fury until we clear the way."

Natasha was already shaking her head before he'd finished his sentence. "Out of the question. I'm not staying behind, Rogers." She used his last name to punctuate just how serious she was about this.

He sighed heavily, as he should've seen this coming. "Nat, you were shot." He used her given name, not even that, a nickname of her given name to convey his point as well.

"It was a through and through," she argued back. "It didn't hit any bones, major blood vessels or vital organs. I'll be fine."

"You could've died." He looked back at her with a pained look in his eyes.

"Not the first time it happened, and it won't be the last." She shrugged her uninjured shoulder as if the matter were as simple as that.

"You should be resting and recovering," he insisted. "You won't be able to fight like you normally do." He raised his eyebrows pointedly at her.

"I'll work through the pain." Her face was set in determination as she looked back at him. "Believe me, I've been through worse." She raised a rather sardonic eyebrow at him.

"I believe you," Steve told her earnestly, as he had no doubt about it. "I still don't want you to risk yourself."

She set her jaw firmly, a gleam of determination visible in her green eyes. "You need me out there."

"Natasha…" He sighed heavily, growing tired of the argument but unwilling to give in.

"Steve, listen to me," she said, leaning forward and looking intently into his eyes. "Even if you storm operations control, you'll need someone with Pierce so he doesn't pull anything on the World Council. And if you want to take down HYDRA, I know just the way to do it." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's that?" He raised an eyebrow of his own back at her.

"Disable all the firewalls and security protocols then dump everything on the internet," she explained. "SHIELD, HYDRA, all the files will become public and they'll have nowhere to hide, so even if we can't stop the helicarriers in time, they'll have no way to cover it up."

"Are you sure about this?" Steve furrowed his eyebrows in concern at her. He knew there were a lot of things in her files about her past, most of which she'd worked very hard to keep hidden. "There are a lot of things in those files."

"I'm sure," Natasha nodded firmly back at him, as she knew what he was referring to. "Sometimes you need to tear things down in order to build them up again. Clean slate, right?"

He kept looking at her in concern, then he finally sighed and nodded in agreement. "Fine, then I'll have Hill with the Council and Sam on operations."

"You can't storm three helicarriers on your own, you'll need Sam's wings," she frowned at him, growing frustrated with him now. "Stop being so damn stubborn."

"You're the one being stubborn," he raised his eyebrows back at her. "You lost a lot of blood."

"I heal fast," she countered at once.

"I know you're good, Natasha, and that you hate being left behind, but even you won't be up to fight by tomorrow morning," Steve argued, shaking his head at her.

She paused with her mouth slightly open ready to argue back, then took a deep breath in and out. "Okay," she said, and something in her tone told him she wasn't actually agreeing with what he'd said, but steeling herself for what she'd say next. "I never told you this before, but I was raised and trained in the Red Room in a program that was the USSR's response to Captain America."

"Really?" Steve could only raise his eyebrows back at her at what she'd said. He knew about the Red Room, but she'd never told him any details before and he'd never known the Black Widow program had actually been connected to him, in a way.

"Yes," she said firmly, looking into his eyes for a moment as she let the information sink in. "So I have a Soviet version of the super soldier serum running through my veins. It didn't work exactly like your serum, but it gives me added strength, agility and faster metabolism than most people." She paused for a moment and they continued staring at each other. Steve often wondered how she'd been able to keep up with him on many of their missions; he'd assumed it had been due to her training in the Red Room, but he hadn't thought she'd been enhanced like him. Natasha then continued. "So when I say I heal fast, I mean it. By morning, my wound will be closed and almost completely healed."

He continued to frown in concern, looking straight into her eyes. "Are you sure about this?"

"You told me you trusted me, remember?" She said quietly, reaching out and taking his hand in hers. "Let me do this. Besides, there's no one else better at infiltration than me, I guarantee you that."

"I know that," he smiled back at her, as he'd seen her work firsthand. Finally, he relented, as he could see this was something important to her, and she was right, he needed her help. "Alright. What do you need?"

She smiled gratefully back at him. "I'll check with Hill what equipment she has here and have her track Councilwoman Hawley. After that, it should be easy."

"I'll set it up," he said, as he got up to his feet and squeezed her hand reassuringly. "You get some rest now. Captain's orders." He gave her one last soft smile before he turned to go and she gave him one of her smiles in return before she did as ordered and settled back on her bed.


	6. Aftermath

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Set right after the end of CA:TWS. This became a way longer chapter than usual, as I wanted to sum up everything Nat went through in that movie and I couldn't resist bringing Clint back in to give her a hard time. Also, Sam ships Romanogers and you know it.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_6\. Aftermath_

It was early morning and Natasha sat perched on top of the back of the sofa-bed in Clint's office, her elbow supported against her knee and her chin poised against her palm as she looked out the window at the landscape surrounding the Barton family farm yet her green eyes were not really seeing anything before her. Her mind was far away, thinking back on the events of the past week. Her whole world had been turned upside down, more than once, and she'd barely stopped to actually think about anything and process it all until now.

The first blow had been Nick Fury's assassination. Getting Steve's message that Fury had been shot and she should come to the hospital had left her reeling and gasping for breath. In addition to being the closest thing she had to a father figure, in her mind, Nick Fury had been near invincible. Who would be able to take him out? Then hearing Steve talking about a fast, strong shooter with a metal arm was another shock. The Winter Soldier was back in her life.

Steve not trusting her even after two years of the two of them partnering up had also thrown her, but in a way it was understandable. SHIELD had been compromised, Fury had told him not to trust anybody and it wasn't like she hadn't given him cause for suspicion as she had been the one to retrieve the intel from the Lemurian Star that was on that drive. Learning HYDRA had been hiding and working from inside SHIELD all this time had been much harder to process. The past eight years had been about turning her life around and doing the right thing, trying to make amends and wipe the red off her ledger. How many of the operations she'd run had actually been done for HYDRA instead of SHIELD? How many innocent lives had she taken out with her bullets? How much red would be back on her ledger?

She couldn't explain what it had meant to her when Steve had said with all the words that he'd trust her with his life. This was Captain America and the Black Widow, which was already as opposing a juxtaposition as there ever would be. But more importantly this was Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. In her world of black ops and espionage, he'd stood out as someone who was genuinely good and just trying to do what's right, not out of some guilty consciousness and debt that was owed like her, not because there was something in it for him or ego and some personal sense of glory, like so many people she knew who worked in the trade. But simply because it _was_ the right thing to do. His trust meant something to her, and she'd forever strive to keep it and be better for that.

She'd also almost died, twice. Natasha was no stranger to danger, of course. Every op and every mission came with its risks, but she was usually too good at her job to be anywhere near death, yet this was the closest she'd been to in years. And both times, Steve had been the one to save her. She supposed that was part of the hero in him. But the way he'd fought against the Winter Soldier (before they'd learned he was actually Bucky) and the words he'd said about how he thought they'd keep saving each other's lives for years to come had caused a strange fluttering inside her chest that she hadn't had time to properly analyze.

Finding out Fury was alive and hadn't actually trusted her enough to be in on the plan had been considerably jarring. She'd just been confronted by her own mortality, and here she was learning that one of the few people she most trusted in life didn't actually extend her the same courtesy. All of that and the fact that they needed to bring down SHIELD was enough to make her want to reevaluate how she'd been living her life.

As if all of this wasn't already enough, she'd then had to deal with the heart-stopping moment when she'd asked Hill her location on Rogers and the older agent reluctantly told her he was still inside the helicarrier when she'd opened fire. Natasha had felt like her heart was ready to explode out of her mouth as she watched the destruction raining down on the Potomac. It was only thanks to her training ingrained deep in her brain that she'd been able to keep her head as they'd searched through the area and she was finally able to see him way down the river by the rocky shore.

The flight to the hospital and the wait during his surgery had been enough to make her sick to the stomach. She'd wanted to cry in relief when they'd learned Steve would live and make a full recovery, but thankfully she managed to keep an impassive mask on. Natasha had never been more terrified before than when she'd thought Steve would die, and that was especially troubling considering the last few days she'd had. Realizing just how much she cared for him had made her want to get out and run as far away as possible, so she was actually relieved when she'd been served with papers to appear before the DOD for the official hearing following the fallout of SHIELD.

After dealing with the suits at Capitol Hill in her typical brazen fashion, she'd then used her time to move things along, getting rid of her apartment and her car and any ties she had to D.C. Fury said he was headed for Europe and wanted her to come with him, but she wasn't ready for that yet. She pulled some strings with her old contacts and got some information for Steve on the Winter Soldier. She thought he wanted to ask her to go with him, but she needed to put some distance between them. They'd gotten close, _too_ close, and she didn't know what to do with that. So she'd handed him the file, kissed him goodbye and left.

It was true that Natasha had loved to flirt with Steve and tease him mercilessly, partially because it was just so easy to get to him and make him blush or squirm uncomfortably before her provocations. But a part of her had also been gauging just how much he'd been adapting to his new life in the 21st century versus how attached to the past he still was. She knew exactly who Peggy Carter had been, after all that woman was a legend and she'd been the longest and most famous Director of SHIELD. But Steve's reluctance to even talk about her or to accept any of her suggestions on women to date only proved to her that he still carried a torch for his old flame and wasn't ready to move on.

That and when she'd shown him just a little bit of her vulnerability and tried to test her theory by asking him who he'd like her to be, his answer had been quite clear: how about a friend? So whatever it was that she realized she felt for him─what was it, a crush? Some Infatuation? Mere attraction or something deeper and altogether more complicated?─whatever it was, she had to squash it down and keep away from him until it passed.

After leaving the cemetery, she'd driven straight over to Clint's farm (taking alternating routes and switching vehicles a couple of times, obviously) and she'd arrived late the night before. They'd only exchanged a few pleasantries then she'd promptly passed out from exhaustion on the sofa-bed in his office as soon as he set it up for her.

She'd still been thinking about all of this when she saw out of the corner of her eye how Clint suddenly appeared at the doorway, crossing his arms and leaning back against the threshold. "So are you going to tell me what actually happened with you and Cap?"

Natasha kept looking out the window and the corners of her mouth barely flickered up before she answered him. "If you want to know about it, read it online. Everything is out there now."

"Oh I'm not talking about the mission gone wrong, we're way past that now," he shook his head and pushed off the doorway, walking towards her and then throwing himself on the sofa-bed, leaning his shoulder against the back as he poked a finger obnoxiously at her leg. "I'm talking about what made you bring down SHIELD with him and dump everything on the internet. Or why you're staying here with us and not with him. Not that I mind, you know we love the company." He added with a sincere smile up at her.

She looked down and raised a sardonic eyebrow at him. "Sorry for bringing down your employer, but you did say you were thinking about retirement."

"Hey, not complaining here, I'm just curious." Clint raised his hands in a peaceful gesture, then furrowed his eyebrows slightly at her. "It did seem a pretty drastic route to take, though."

"Come on, once we found out HYDRA had been operating secretly inside SHIELD from the start, we couldn't let it go," she said, staring back at him. "Making everything public was the only way to end this."

"You could've saved your files before dumping everything online," he argued, as he tilted his head slightly and kept looking up at her. "You know you could have."

She avoided his eyes and looked out the window once more. "There was no time to do that."

"Natasha." Clint said pointedly, his tone of voice conveying what he was thinking. As if she wouldn't have been able to destroy a few documents before dumping everything else online.

She let out a small sigh, but still kept looking out the window. "It didn't feel right, that everything else would be out there and only my secrets would be kept safe."

"Right," Clint said, rolling his eyes and adjusting his position so that he was leaning his back and head against the back of the sofa-bed now and continued in a conversational tone. "I'm sure this had nothing to do with whatever happened with you and Steve and you trying to sabotage anything good that happens in your life."

"What are you talking about?" She turned with a frown to look down at him. "Nothing happened with Steve."

"Uh-huh," he countered in a disbelieving tone as he looked upside down up at her and twiddled his thumbs, his hands poised over his stomach. "So this kissing incident on an escalator at the mall was what, exactly?"

"You know what that was," she said automatically before she could actually think about what he said, then she narrowed her eyes at him. "And how do you even know about that?"

"SHIELD got into the mall security system, that's how they figured out you were helping Cap," he said, making a casual hand gesture. "I was actually called in to track you down, but I refused and went off the grid, of course. And don't give me that bullshit about diversion techniques." He added, making a backhanded tap against her leg.

"It _was_ a diversion technique and it worked wonderfully," she maintained, her tone airy and her face quite impassive.

"Right. So you spent two years flirting with him and trying to fix him up on dates with basically every woman at SHIELD, even though he never took you up on any of those suggestions, for no reason?" He argued back with a rather knowing smile up at her.

"What are you, spying on me or something?" She countered, crossing her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'm looking out for you and I got ears everywhere," he replied with a casual, unapologetic shrug. "Also Rumlow liked to run his mouth about the two of you and how you were probably cheating on me with Cap." He added with a smirk and upwards motion of his eyebrows at her.

"That's hilarious," she deadpanned back at him. "Did you tell Laura about that?" She added with a smirk of her own.

"Yeah, she got a good laugh out of it," he said, still with that smirk. "But most importantly, you're not denying anything."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Nothing happened."

"Nice try, but not convincing enough." Clint countered in a light tone.

"Leave it, Clint," Natasha said, narrowing her eyes dangerously at him and her voice suddenly becoming cold as ice.

He sighed heavily and sat up, turning around so he was properly facing her. "Nat, you deserve to be happy."

She shook her head at him. "This is not─this is _Steve Rogers_ we're talking about here," she said harshly as she also turned to him, and something inside her seemed to snap on her resolve to not talk about it as Clint kept pushing her on the subject. "Captain freaking America!" She made a helpless hand gesture, throwing them up in frustration for a moment. "He would never want anything to do with me, not really."

"Oh my God, you are so blind." He shook his head at her, with both a smile on his lips and a frown between his eyebrows as he looked at her. "You know, for a super spy I would've expected you to be more observant."

"Look, I just…" She trailed off, and some of the fight seemed to go out of her as she sighed heavily. "I can't. Steve and I, it's not you and Laura." She countered, making an emphatic hand gesture at him. "I'm not some princess that gets rescued by the white knight. I'm an assassin. This is not a fairytale that gets a happy ever after. It's real life and it's hard and tragic and it would only end up in heartache." She paused then, swallowed hard and struggled to keep her emotions in check. "You didn't see him there, on that bank on the Potomac then in that hospital room, all bloodied and broken and…" She trailed off as her eyes glazed over and she was no longer sitting with Clint in his office, but back in that hospital room.

"Hey," Clint said softly, reaching over and taking her hand. "He got back up to his feet. In record time, even." He raised his eyebrows reassuringly at her.

"It doesn't matter," she shook her head, pushing away from the window, away from him and moving to stand up instead. "I can't do something like this. I've never been trained for this."

"There's no training for this." Clint followed her movements with his eyes as he continued to frown at her. "This _is_ real life, Nat. And things happen whether you want to or not."

"Not if I can help it." Natasha crossed her arms firmly over her chest. "You're right, maybe I _am_ sabotaging things, because I don't want to go through this." As she said this, she grew frustrated and started pacing the room, her hands gesturing at him as she spoke. "Don't I get to choose? Am I just supposed to be a victim of circumstances? I refuse to go back to this place where I don't have any control over what happens to me, and Steve…" She trailed off, taking a shuddering breath in and turning to face Clint once more. "He has the ability to fucking _break_ me. So no, I can't let that happen." She finished, setting her mouth into a serious line.

Clint looked at her with a mixture of amazement and sadness as she finally opened up to him and let it out all out. "God, you are so messed up." He said, shaking his head slightly at her.

"You knew that already." She said quietly, looking at him through her lashes and shrugging her shoulders rather despondently.

"I did." Clint merely sighed in reply and gave her a soft smile. "C'mon, Laura is making breakfast." He got up to his feet then and pulled at her hand.

"You're going to drop this then?" She raised an eyebrow at him as he steered her towards the door.

"Not a chance." He gave her a half smile as he threw one arm over her shoulder and they walked out of his office together. "I'm always going to bug you about this. But for now I'm done." Clint knew dealing with all of this with Natasha would be a work in progress and there was only so much he could push her before she shut him down for good. Besides, his stomach was growling in protest now and his wife's cooking was calling out to him.

* * *

A few days later and thousands of miles away, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson sat at the table by the window of their hotel room in Kiev, once more going over the documents on the file on the Winter Soldier. They'd just been back up from dinner after spending the whole day checking out the places mapped out in the documents and Steve had wanted to compare notes once more before they called it a night.

Sam watched as Steve read through one of the post-it notes that Natasha had left with some translation comments or info she'd added to the file herself, and he decided to ask the question that had been bugging him ever since they'd left D.C. "So I know it's none of my business, but why didn't you ask her to come with us?"

Steve then raised his eyes from the file to look at him. "Who? Nat?"

"Well, yeah." Sam raised an eyebrow pointedly back at him. "You guys seemed pretty close, I was surprised you went your separate ways."

"She had her reasons," Steve said quietly, shrugging one shoulder casually. "It didn't seem fair to ask her to do this with me." As Sam kept looking at him with raised eyebrows, he added in an even quieter voice. "Bucky almost killed her, you know."

"Well he almost killed both of us, yet here we are," he couldn't help but quip back at him with a smile.

"I know," Steve said quickly, and a grimace seemed to form on his face then. "I told you, you didn't have to do this."

"No, that's not the point, Steve." He raised his hands, quick to reassure him. "I'm here and I'm glad to be helping you with this, alright. Stop trying to make me leave." Steve smiled gratefully back at him and Sam continued. "I get what you're saying, but I just think that if you'd asked, she would've come with us, y'know? And don't tell me you don't miss her, 'cause I can tell." He raised an eyebrow at him once more.

The super soldier sighed in that quiet and earnest manner of his. "I do."

"So. Call her." Sam countered, shrugging his shoulders easily. "What's stopping you?"

Steve furrowed his eyebrows slightly and opened his mouth to say something, then he closed it again for a moment before he finally answered him. "He was my best friend, Sam."

"I know that. What…?" Sam trailed off, shaking his head and frowning in confusion at him and this apparent non-sequitur.

"He was my best friend and he almost killed her. _Twice_." Steve sat back on his chair and sighed heavily. "He shot her once before, when she was on a mission five years ago. He shot her to get to the target she was protecting. I don't know what he's going to be like when we find him, but I can't risk him shooting her again." He finished, shaking his head despondently.

Sam almost wanted to make a quip about how he didn't mind risking _him_ on this mission to track down the rogue Winter Soldier, but the haunted look in Steve's clear blue eyes was enough to still his words before they came out of his mouth.

"You really care about her." Sam commented with some wonderment in his voice.

"Well, yeah." Steve frowned a little at him, as if this observation should've been obvious. "She was my partner."

Sam quickly shook his head back at him. "No, that's not what I'm saying here. I mean, you _care_ about her." He sat back and eyed his friend for a moment as if appraising him. "Remind me again why the two of you are not together?"

Steve was quick to roll his eyes at him. "It's not like that with us."

"Uh-huh. But it could be." Sam countered, once more raising an eyebrow at him. "Don't tell me you never thought about it. I could see it in your face, the way you looked at her when she walked away!"

Steve's eyes went back to the file in his hands even as he replied to him. "She's not interested in me like that."

"Sure." Sam's tone of voice indicated just how disbelieving he was of that notion.

"I mean it." Steve said, raising his eyes back at him. "She spent the last two years trying to set me up with nearly every woman we knew. She only sees me as a friend."

The black man threw a smirk at him. "That's not what it looked like from where I was standing."

Steve gave up the pretense of going through the documents and focused back on his friend. "Really?"

"Yeah," Sam told him earnestly, and then grinned back at him. "In fact, my bad, I think she was about to jump you if I hadn't called you two for breakfast back when you were at my house. But then I was sure the two of you were together, so I didn't think too much about it." He finished with a casual shrug.

"Huh." Steve merely said, raising an eyebrow back at him as he got lost in his thoughts.

Could it be there was more to her flirting and teasing than he'd thought? He'd been so sure that was just how she was, she liked to provoke people, to have the upper hand. But that moment they'd shared in Sam's bedroom had been real. The words she'd said had resonated so much with him and the ones he'd said earlier to Peggy about how he didn't know what was right anymore. And he could feel that having his trust had meant something to her, far more than he'd thought at first.

After a moment, Steve shook his head and got back to going through the files before him. He'd have time to think about all of this later. Right now they had a job to do.


	7. Flirting

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: This is set during Avengers: Age of Ultron, in the party scene at the Avengers Tower, after Steve talks to Bruce and before they're all lounging around and start messing with Mjolnir. I'm expounding on another Tumblr theory about the "language" gag and I had so much fun writing this, after how heavy the last chapter was.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_7\. Flirting_

After seeing Sam to the door and getting back down to the main floor of Tony's official party lounge at the Avengers Tower, Steve saw Natasha behind the bar once more and it was like deja vú, only this time he was the one making his way towards her and Bruce was nowhere in sight. She'd also ditched her now empty cocktail glass and seemed to be nursing a beer bottle, and she looked up through her lashes and smiled at him as he got closer.

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into mine," she said, and the smile morphed into one of her famous smirks.

"Really, Romanoff?" He raised an eyebrow and smiled at her as his arms came to rest on the counter in front of her. "You're quoting me Casablanca?"

"What? It's a very famous quote." She blinked her green eyes innocently up at him. "Besides, I would have thought you would know I have a vast and varied knowledge when it comes to movies." She quirked an eyebrow up at him, referencing her quip when they'd found Zola's AI the year before.

"I am very aware of that," he chuckled a little and smiled back at her. After all, she was the one who watched Star Wars with him and she'd also given him several other movie tips over the years.

It felt nice that he was able to simply joke like this with her once more. He'd missed her terribly for the months following that mess with SHIELD and the Insight helicarriers as he and Sam trudged across Europe in search of leads on Bucky. Then Tony had called and said he was putting the team back together, creating his own version of The Avengers Initiative to handle the HYDRA cells that were still active and they'd learned Loki's scepter wasn't among the SHIELD property they'd recovered, so that had become his number one priority as he, Tony, Bruce and Thor worked together.

It was just his luck that as soon as he got back to the US, Natasha had gone off to Europe on her own. She hadn't told anyone what she was doing there, but he had a feeling it had something to do with the fallout of her secret files becoming public knowledge on the internet. He'd offered her help, but she assured him it was nothing she couldn't handle on her own, and after a few months she also joined them, bringing Barton along with her so that the whole team was finally back together.

He'd wanted to talk to her about what Sam had told him about the two of them, but they'd been so busy making sure they took care of all the HYDRA cells and everything, then on one of the missions the Hulk had needed to jump into the fray and help them out and Natasha had seemed to be the only one that managed to calm him down back to Banner afterwards, so Steve put them working together on the "lullaby". As the months went by, Steve saw the two of them growing closer and how Natasha had seemed so at ease with the doctor, which was so different from how on edge she'd been when they'd worked together. He figured that whatever might've happened between them was in the past and he'd missed his chance. Again.

As for Natasha, she thought it felt weird to be called Romanoff once more instead of Nat, but the distance she'd put between them on the months following the fall of SHIELD had done its trick. Her heart felt more settled as she worked with Steve once more and she no longer felt in a panic at the thought of him getting hurt on a mission, which was exactly as it should be. Of course, she'd been doing whatever she could to avoid him outside of working hours for that and she missed him as a consequence, so this party was the first time she'd been able to talk to him about anything other than work for a long while now and she decided to indulge herself a little.

"So what do you have there?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him as she looked down at the glass in his hand. "Thor's special Asgardian mead?"

"Yeah, it really packs a punch," Steve said easily, glancing down and swirling the contents of his glass for a moment. "Even I can feel the effects. It's been a long time since I've felt more than slightly tipsy."

"I know," she smiled, one of her eyebrows quirking up again. "I also have a higher tolerance for alcohol, which works quite well for me. I can actually drink on the job yet keep sharp so no one suspects anything. But on social occasions, not so much fun." She smiled at him, thinking how nice it was to be able to talk about this with him since she'd told him about her own Soviet super soldier serum.

"Here, have some of mine," he said, reaching out for a second glass and sharing the contents of his own with her. "Thor topped off my cup with what those veterans couldn't take anymore."

"Thanks." She smiled appreciatively at him as she took a sip from the glass he handed her, then she narrowed her eyes almost imperceptibly at him. "So what were you talking with Bruce back there?"

Steve felt his face growing warm as he gave her an embarrassed smile at being caught red-handed. "Uh, you saw that?"

"You weren't exactly subtle about it." Natasha quirked an eyebrow up at him. "You're right when you say you're a soldier, not a spy."

He held back a sigh as he looked down at his glass once more and said, "I was just saying how I think it's nice, whatever is going on between the two of you."

"You do?" She asked then, surprised at his words and that he'd actually answered what she'd asked. But then this was Steve and as he'd once said, he's always honest.

"Of course." He lifted his eyes back to hers, in turn surprised at the surprised tone in her voice. "You deserve to be happy, Nat." He added with warmth in his voice.

"Thanks." Natasha said, looking back into his blue eyes, her lips twitching for a moment before she looked down at her own glass, took another sip and decided to change the subject. "So can I ask you something? That 'language' slip up─"

"Oh not that again!" Steve groaned a little at that. "I'm never gonna live that down, am I?"

"Not anytime soon, I suspect." She smirked back at him, then raised an eyebrow at him. "But I was curious, did it have something to do with me?"

"What do you mean?" He countered, his eyes narrowing a little in curiosity at her question.

"C'mon, Rogers. I know you." Even if she didn't openly roll her eyes at him, her tone of voice had the same effect. "You were in the freaking Army and you ran around with a bunch of guys called the Howling Commandos. I bet you know more curse words than all of us combined and you're no stranger to the occasional expletive in the battlefield."

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow at her, bringing his glass up to take a sip.

"Yes." She nodded firmly back at him, and carried on with her theory. "But back in the day, it would've been a big no-no to curse in front of a lady, am I right? So given that technically I am a lady and I am in the team, your old-fashioned brain immediately went to the inappropriateness of someone cursing within my hearing range and that's why you automatically called out on Tony."

"How did you figure that out?" He blinked his eyes and openly stared at her in admiration. No one had even come close to understanding the weird way his brain had worked when he'd called 'language' out on Tony. Most of them seemed to think it was part of him as this righteous, polite and correct person that he was, the figure of The Captain, as if he himself never cursed, which was a laughable thought. Bucky would've had a field with this if he'd been here, he thought with a pang in his heart.

"I told you, I know you." Natasha smiled triumphantly back at him at having her theory confirmed. "Though I must say that by now I would've thought you had started to see me as part of the team, you know." She added, looking down for a moment before looking back up at him through her lashes. "Like I'm just one of the guys."

"You're very much part of the team, but it would be really hard to think you're one of the guys," Steve said in a low voice, his eyes shining brightly with warmth at her.

"Really?" She said, feeling frozen in the spot for a moment as she looked back into his eyes.

"Really. You're an amazing woman, Nat." He said, staring back at her and the two of them were caught in some sort of momentary spell, until Steve seemed to catch himself, cleared his throat and forced his eyes away from hers as he gave her a small smile. "I hope Banner knows he is one lucky guy."

"Thanks, Steve." She gave a small smile back at him, taking a sip from her drink before she continued. "You know, you deserve to be happy, too."

"I know, you never seem to stop trying to set me up on dates with other women," he said easily, rolling his eyes a little at her as he also took a sip of his drink.

"Just trying to do my part to help you get settled in the 21st century." She countered with a casual shrug. "We need you with us, Cap."

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." He assured her, as he reached over the counter and grabbed a beer bottle out of the cooler then he gestured with his head up towards the lounge and they grabbed their drinks and started moving away from the bar to where the rest of their friends were gathered.

"Good to know." She smiled and fell in step next to him. "By the way, I hear Maria is single."

Steve almost tripped and choked on his drink at the same time, but managed to keep his balance as he glanced down at her with a frown. "Please, don't. I'd get nightmares just thinking about it."

"What's wrong with Hill?" She asked him, her voice going up an octave in surprise at his protest. "She's fierce, loyal and funny, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous!"

"Of course, she is." Steve was quick to concede to her points, then he was shaking his head at her. "But I would keep thinking she'd try to kill me in my sleep."

"She would never." Natasha laughed back at him at the notion that Maria Hill would ever attempt to kill Captain America.

"It doesn't matter, that woman terrifies me." He told her, still shaking his head at her.

"Interesting." She raised an eyebrow at him. "I might use this information to my advantage later on, by the way."

"I should've known." He rolled his eyes at her once more, but there was also a smile on his lips.

"What about Helen Cho?" Natasha asked as they started mounting up the steps.

"I think she's interested in Thor." Steve raised an eyebrow back at her.

"Who only seems to have eyes for Jane Foster." She commented, then furrowed her eyebrows in thought. "Oh, how about that girl who's her assistant? What's her name? Darcy something?"

"Will you stop trying to get me to date all these women we work with?" He protested with laughter in his voice, once more lightly shaking his head at her.

"Alright, alright! I'll think of something else." She conceded with a bright smile back at him. "Maybe Pepper has a friend outside of our work circle. Actually, whatever happened with Sharon? She's not working with us anymore." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh my God, you're relentless." He kept shaking his head at her, but a smile still tugged at the corners of his mouth despite his protests.

"You have no idea." She wiggled her eyebrows provocatively up at him as they stopped for a moment when they reached the landing on top of the stairs.

"Seriously, you're being impossible right now." Steve said, still unable to stop the smile that was on his lips as his eyes sparkled in amusement down at her.

"I could get worse." She said, tilting her head a little, raising an eyebrow in challenge up at him. "We could take advantage we're done taking down HYDRA bases and maybe get you your own reality TV show to find you a girlfriend. I can see it now: The Bachelor: Captain America edition. I think it'd be a huge hit." She grinned up at him, rather proud of her brilliant idea.

"You're being ridiculous, you know that, right?" He laughed a little at her then.

"I'll stop the day you bring someone other than Sam to these parties." She quirked her eyebrows up at him once more still with that bright smile.

Steve could only smile and shake his head at her and he noticed out of the corner of his eye how Bruce was looking with interest at the two them, then he nudged Natasha with his elbow towards him and went around the table to sit down next to Thor as they joined the others as the party seemed to have dwindled down to only the Avengers and their closest friends.

It would be years before Natasha would think back to this conversation and realize Steve had actually said 'other women' and not just 'women' on the subject of setting him up on dates.


	8. Relationships

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Also set in AoU, while they're laying low at the Barton's, after Nat and Bruce talk and before Fury joins them at the house.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_8\. Relationships_

After braving through her cold shower, Natasha came out of the bathroom of the Barton's attic suite, which had been reformed and had become her official bedroom during her extended stay with the family last spring once Clint had decided it would be ridiculous to have her sleeping in his sofa-bed for more than a couple of days. She'd been impressed with how quickly he'd put it all together and Laura had confessed to her that he'd just been waiting for an opportunity to remodel yet another part of their house.

She had only on a pair of underwear and bra under the robe covering her otherwise nude body, but she wasn't concerned, even as she found Clint sitting on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, apparently just lounging around and waiting for her. After all, the two of them had run too many missions together and patched each other up after taking hits and getting injured, so they'd reached this level of familiarity as if they were actually siblings.

"So is there anything you want to tell me on the subject of why my wife thinks there's something going on with you and _Banner_?" He said, turning to her with raised eyebrows.

"Okay." She said gamely, walking out into the room as she towel-dried her red curls. "There's something going on with me and Banner."

"And you never told me this before, why exactly?" His eyebrows continued raised high in his forehead even as he followed her around the room with his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think I needed your permission to try and act on an interest I have on someone else," she said dryly, stepping over to the dresser as she started to go through her clothes. She'd left a considerable amount of clothes behind, once Laura pointed out to her that it would be easier to do so instead of bringing a bag over every time she'd stay over with them, which happened pretty often.

"Don't give me that," he said at once, frowning in concern at her now. "You know I'm only looking out for you and I want you to be happy."

"Then you should be glad for me." Natasha countered easily, keeping her back to him even as she slipped on a comfortable pair of black jeans. "Bruce is a great guy."

"He is, some issues with The Other Guy notwithstanding," Clint said, bobbing his head left and right for a moment. "But what about, oh who was that again─_Steve_?" He made an exasperated hand gesture at her and she turned around to face him and merely rolled her eyes in reply. "We haven't talked about that in a while, and when I saw the two of you flirting at the party I thought you were finally getting on the same page."

"I wasn't flirting with him." She countered, even as she pulled a top on and crossed the room to hang the bathrobe on the hanger behind the door.

"Ha! Right." He retorted not-so-eloquently and flickered an eyebrow in disbelief up at her.

"We were actually talking about Bruce." Natasha maintained, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared back at him. Well, technically by the time they'd joined the others at the lounge she'd been teasing Steve about fixing him up on dates and creating a Captain America version of The Bachelor, but it wouldn't have the same effect if she'd told him that.

"God, you two have some messed up dynamics there." Clint shook his head at her a little as he furrowed his eyebrows in bafflement before her statement.

"I already told you to drop it, Clint." She rolled her eyes at him once more, going towards the closet and retrieving a sweater. "There never was and there never will be something between Steve and I."

"Only because you won't let it happen," he pointed out to her, making a hand gesture at her. "You're scared of what you feel for him and what you might actually have if you allow yourself to go there, so now you're running headlong into this thing with Banner to hide away from it."

"That's not what I'm doing," she turned around and practically glowered at him at the accusation. "I like Bruce, I genuinely care for him."

"I don't doubt that," he said quickly, raising his hands in a peaceful gesture. "I know you wouldn't manipulate him like that, not anymore." She seemed somewhat placated by his words so he carried on. "But you know that I'm right about what I'm saying. You said so yourself after D.C., that Steve was someone who could break you and you wouldn't let that happen."

"You may 'ship us together all you want, Clint, but he doesn't want me like that," she said nonchalantly, going over to the mirror to inspect herself, adjusting and framing her hair around her face. "He only wants me as a friend. He told me so in D.C."

"I have a hard time believing that." Clint told her with another raised eyebrow and a rather dry tone.

"Believe what you want." She said, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. "It's what he said."

"Have you actually told him how you feel about him?" He challenged her at once.

"Yeah, because I want to make things even more awkward between us." Natasha deadpanned back at him. "Of course not."

"So that's it? You won't even try?" He raised his hands in a frustrated gesture at her. "You just want to get on with Banner and ride off into the sunset? How is that even going to work out after what happened in Johannesburg? There might be people after him, you would be on the wrong side of the law again."

"I'm not sure." She shrugged her shoulders unconcernedly, but inside she could feel a churning in her stomach at the thought. If that happened, she wouldn't be able to keep Clint and his family in her life, or any of the other Avengers. "We haven't worked out the details yet, but we'll come up with something."

"Unbelievable." Clint shook his head at her, then narrowed his eyes. "You always do that, you know."

"Do what?" She raised an eyebrow back at him.

"Make things harder for yourself and go after the wrong guy." He elaborated, then rolled his eyes at her. "Like when you had that brilliant idea of getting involved with Murdock when you were working together on that case in San Francisco, even though he had that psycho ex-girlfriend after him."

"You're never gonna let that go, are you?" She rolled her eyes back at him and walked towards the window to avoid looking at him. Natasha didn't particularly feel like rehashing her history with the self-proclaimed Daredevil vigilante when they'd crossed paths during one of her missions and one of his cases back when he'd been in Law School and that mess she'd inadvertently gotten into with the Greek heiress Elektra Natchios.

"She almost killed you, Nat." Clint raised his eyebrows pointedly back at her.

"Please, as if she could have." She threw a rueful smile at him over her shoulder. "I handled that just fine."

"Debatable, but that's beside the point." He countered, making a bobbing motion with his head.

"Right. The point is that this is my life and I get to choose how to do things." She said, turning around to stare seriously back at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. "As my best friend, you should support me and be happy for me."

"I hate it when you use the best friend card." He shook his head at her, then heaved a sigh, raising his hands in surrender. "Okay, fine. I'll stop bugging you about this. For now." Then he got up from the bed and walked towards her, reaching out to place a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "I know you're not gonna disappear on us until this whole mess with Ultron is done anyway, so we can talk more about this later."

He squeezed her shoulder and gave her a soft smile as he left her by the window. Natasha watched him go, then she turned to look out once more and she watched for a while as Steve and Tony were outside chopping wood until it looked like they got into an argument. Shaking her head to herself, she then also turned to leave the room.

As she came down the stairs, she grabbed onto the wooden banister for a moment and shook her head, as she had another flashback of being in the Red Room, watching a younger version of herself being gruelled ruthlessly through her combined ballet and assassin training. She needed some air and she needed some time alone, as the conversations with Bruce and Clint were still rattling around her brain and she had too many conflicting thoughts in her head, so she walked towards the back of the house and sat down on the top step leading out of the small winter porch adjacent to the kitchen.

She'd only been alone for a few minutes when she felt rather than heard someone approaching and she wasn't surprised at the sound of his voice. "Hey." Steve said quietly as he stood by her, crossing his arms and leaning his shoulder on the threshold.

"Hi." Natasha looked up and gave him a small smile.

"Are you okay?" He frowned down in concern at her.

"Yeah, just thinking." She reassured him, her lips twitching up for a moment but soon the smile left her face.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he sat down next to her, his folded arms resting on his knees. As she maintained her silence and kept staring out, he nudged her gently with his shoulder. "C'mon, Nat. Talk to me."

She looked with warmth over at him, feeling better that he'd called her Nat instead of Romanoff once more and she just looked at him for a moment, before she shook her head. "I have too many things in my head. That girl, what she did to me…" Natasha kept shaking her head, and turned to face forward once more before she continued, her voice growing even lower and quieter. "She made me see so many memories all at once. Things I hadn't thought about in years and things I didn't even know I could remember."

"The Red Room?" Steve asked her gently, the two of them practically whispering to each other now.

"Yeah." She nodded and blinked her eyes a couple of times, before she turned to look at him again. "What about you? How are you doing?"

"I'm fine." He said at once, one corner of his mouth turning up.

"You don't look fine." It was her time to frown at him in concern.

"I don't?" He raised his eyebrows at her in surprise. He didn't think anyone had noticed. Tony certainly had thought he'd walked out of their encounter with the Scarlet Witch pretty much unscathed, as if he didn't have a dark side, as the inventor had said.

"You look… distraught." Natasha said, still frowning at him, as if she were looking at something deep inside him that only she could see. "What did she do to you?"

"I'm not sure." He sighed in reply, feeling some sort of weight lifted off his shoulders as he talked about this with her. "It wasn't memories. Fears and regrets, maybe." He shook his head slightly then turned forward to look out into the distance. "What could have been, if I hadn't gone down in the ice."

"Peggy?" She asked him simply, her tone just as gentle as the one he'd used with her before.

He turned to look her right in the eyes, feeling at the same time surprised that she'd ask him this but he had to admit a part of him had already expected that she would. They'd never talked about Peggy before, but he knew that she knew all about it. "Yeah." He admitted in a whisper.

Her lips twitched up into a sad, understanding smile and she reached over, squeezing his arm in a comforting gesture as she then leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder. He sighed and leaned his head on hers, and the two of them kept sitting like this for a long while as the sun dipped low on the horizon until suddenly Tony came back into the house accompanied by Nick Fury.


	9. Choices

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: This is set after AoU, I imagine right after they start working with the new team at the compound in upstate New York.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_9\. Choices_

It was late afternoon and Steve Rogers was training by himself in the official Avengers gym at their new facility in upstate New York, thinking about how in the past couple of months the compound had started to feel more like home to him as he settled into a routine with his new family of comrades in arms.

He'd been impressed with how quickly Tony and Pepper had set this up once they decided the Avengers Initiative needed new headquarters. They'd been too exposed living and working in Manhattan, especially after Ultron had attacked them in their own home with so many civilians being around and potentially in danger. As they were quickly becoming even more notorious after what happened in Sokovia, there was no guarantee other enemies wouldn't seek them out in the future (the fate of Tony's Malibu mansion serving as a cautionary tale), so the more remote location in upstate New York had been rather perfect for what they wanted. Luckily Stark Industries had an old storage facility there, so they could improve on what already existed and make the necessary adjustments. The complete move would take a while yet, as the former Avengers Tower was in the process of being changed back to Stark Industries Tower, but at least they got the compound up and running fast enough so that the team could move in and start working together.

With Clint heading home to welcome his new son and be with his family, Bruce disappearing in the wayward Quinjet, Thor gone to seek more information regarding the Infinity Stones and what he'd seen about the destruction of Asgard, and Tony tapping out, as the man had said so himself, it naturally fell on Steve's shoulders the responsibility to oversee and train the new Avengers. Thankfully he had Natasha working by his side once more as they rose to the challenge to lead this new team.

Rhodey and Sam adjusted to their new routines quite well, as it was expected since both had military backgrounds. Each man was in charge of training a group of recruits in addition to their Avengers responsibilities. Sam had also taken upon himself to teach a class on "Modern Life in the 21st Century" as a gag to Steve and Vision, but both the super soldier and the android had actually enjoyed it and they kept the arrangement at least once a week. Pretty soon the other Avengers got wind of it and started crashing these lessons, adding topics of their own and this morphed into some Friday night team-building thing where they would all just hang out together watching movies and other whatnot while occasionally educating Steve and Vision on points they might still have doubts on, or Wanda on life in America.

While dealing with Vision was certainly interesting and even funny at times, Steve wasn't too concerned about the android. He was sure that in time he'd get a better grasp of human interactions and social conventions, and of course he was a formidable ally when it came to fighting, even if for some missions they couldn't take him out with them as the android stood out like a sore thumb. He would still accompany them and remain with the Quinjet when they needed to blend in for the stealthier ops.

What concerned the Captain the most nowadays was the addition of the young Wanda Maximoff to their lives. At eighteen years old, the girl was technically still a teenager and she already had such great powers yet frankly at times it still felt like they'd only scratched at the surface of her true abilities. Add to it the fact that she was living in a facility owned by Tony Stark, a man she'd spent years hating and it wasn't exactly the easiest of transitions. Even if the billionaire didn't reside at the compound with them and was no longer in active combat duty, he was still very much involved with their activities, at the very least funding and providing equipment for them. Steve had made the two of them talk about their issues once they'd agreed to give Wanda a place with them, and it had helped smooth things over, but he thought it would still take time for the two of them to grow comfortable with each other.

There was also the fact that Wanda was terribly missing her brother and going through a grief process not only for the loss of Pietro but of Sokovia itself. It'd already been a handful of times now that they'd woken up to the Scarlet Witch fairly destroying her bedroom in a telekinetic maelstrom during a nightmare and even with small earthquakes racking the compound. On such occasions usually Steve or Vision managed to calm her down and contain the damage. She was always terribly embarrassed and apologetic when this happened, and in general Wanda was very sweet and easy to handle. But there were some occasions when her mood would do a complete 180 and she became very difficult indeed.

Another thing that worried Steve at the moment was his partner. Natasha had always been rather quiet, but she'd been very withdrawn for the past couple of months. He wasn't the most talkative person either, so he tried to give her space and be there for her in case she needed him. He knew Sam would sometimes talk with her, as he had experience getting people to open up to him and Steve was glad they could be there for each other, but he wished there was more he could do for her.

He'd just been thinking about all of this as he went mechanically through his training regimen when Natasha suddenly walked into the gym dressed in a sports bra with a loose top over it and leggings, her usual training clothes, and with a thunderous expression on her face, which was not so usual.

"Something wrong?" Steve stopped mid sit-up and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Wanda." She barely looked his way as she said the one word and carried on her way, marching across the room towards the punching bags, then she sat on the bench and proceeded to tightly wrap her hands in gauze.

"Uh-oh. What happened now?" He asked, getting swiftly up to his feet and leisurely crossing the room after her. As Natasha kept silent, he raised a teasing eyebrow at her. "Did she take another one of your jackets?"

She stopped wrapping her hand and leveled a glare at him. "Is it too much to ask that she just follows what I tell her to do? I don't fucking care if she is a telepath with telekinetic abilities! I'm trying to teach her skills that will keep her alive out there, even if something happens and she can't rely on her powers, for whatever reason!"

Steve sighed quietly to himself. Well, he had asked. "I know." He said in what he hoped was a placating and understanding tone as he watched her finish wrapping her hand and walking over to the punching bag.

He'd been the one who put Natasha working with Wanda, as it made sense. The Black Widow was the best in the business, and even if Wanda had telepathic and telekinetic powers, she needed to learn how to fight and use all the tools at her disposal, as Natasha had so colorful and eloquently put just then. The former Russian spy also knew the dialect spoken in Sokovia and could converse with Wanda in her native tongue and help her adapt to life in the US. For the most part, that arrangement worked quite well.

And then there were moments when it could backfire spectacularly, if both women happened to have a training session on one of their off days, and Steve was irrevocably reminded of this now as he watched his partner fairly plummet the punching bag as if it'd offended her personally.

"God, this is just─argh!" She roared, followed by a particularly ferocious punch.

Steve furrowed his brow as he watched her for a moment, then he walked over, caught her hand mid-swing and pulled her away, heading towards the wrestling ring. "Okay, sparring time. Come on."

Natasha yanked her arm back out of his grasp and rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not using you as a punching bag, Steve."

"You're not." He turned around, raising his eyebrows at her. "You get fierce and focused when you're frustrated. It's good practice for me, going up against someone who could actually beat me up." He finished by giving her a teasing smile.

"Fine." The corners of her lips twitched up for a moment then she narrowed her eyes at him. "Just remember, you asked for it."

"Bring it on, Romanoff." He wiggled his eyebrows up at her in a challenge.

They stepped up to the ring and she really made him work for it. Natasha kept him on his toes as she moved around and struck at him, almost as if she were dancing around his moves, taking his hits and flowing into the movements, using his strength against himself, taking an opening as soon as she could to push herself up and wrap her legs around his head in her signature move, bringing him down to the mat. He managed to wrestle free of her grip and pin her under him, but she somehow twisted and swung her legs around, getting him on a chokehold until he slapped his hand down on the mat and yielded.

"You're not going easy on me, are you?" She raised a suspicious eyebrow at him as they both got back up to their feet.

"Never." He grinned at her in response, and this time he was the one to make the first move.

They went on like this for a while with each winning a handful of rounds until Steve got distracted, thinking she looked better and more relaxed than when she'd been going at that punching bag by herself, and Natasha actually managed to get a jab in and split his lip open.

"Oh shit," she grimaced and stopped fighting at once, taking note of the blood on his lips. "I'm sorry! What the _hell_, Steve?!" She apologized and cursed at him at the same time, feeling flustered as it had been such a basic move, she was sure he was going to block it before she connected with his face.

"Hey, don't worry about it," he shook his head lightly at her, bringing his hand up to his lips and seeing his fingers stained red as he brought them back out then he grinned at her. "See what I mean? Fierce and focused."

"Yeah, now where the hell was _your_ focus?" She furrowed her eyebrows in concern at him.

He didn't have any good response to that, so he merely shrugged back at her and they left the ring and sat down on a bench. Natasha turned to him and continued frowning in concern even as she pressed a towel against his lip to stave off the bleeding.

"You know, I understand your frustration and I appreciate all the effort you've put into training Wanda," Steve said then conversationally, noting she seemed less wound up after their sparring and judging now was a better moment to talk to her about it. Her eyes snapped from his injured lip up to his eyes. "I'm the one who asked you to do that, after all."

Her expression softened somewhat, but there was still a frown present between her eyebrows. "I'm not doing that just because you asked, Steve. She needs to learn all of this."

"I know." He said, nodding his head slightly. "But try to remember, she's going through something here. Her whole life got changed all of a sudden, she's in a place she doesn't recognize surrounded by people she was at one time trying to kill. Sounds familiar?" He raised his eyebrows pointedly at her.

She removed the towel from his face, as the bleeding had already stopped and rolled her eyes a little at him then. "Okay, I get it. But I was never this bitchy." She added, glaring at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"I'll remember to ask Clint about that the next time he drops by." He smirked in reply.

"You wouldn't dare." She narrowed her eyes at him, but he could see a teasing gleam in her green eyes that told him it was just playful banter.

His lips twitched up for a moment, then the smirk melted into a softer smile, and his voice also got lower and softer. "Also she's going through something else. She's just lost someone who was so important to her. You can understand that as well."

"A little." She furrowed her eyebrows once more and let out a small sigh. "I mean, when I thought Nick had died, I felt like the floor was taken from under me. I don't know how I would've dealt with that if I hadn't been so worried about you and keeping us alive back then."

Now Steve was the one furrowing his eyebrows at her. "Actually, I wasn't talking about Fury." He paused for a moment, unsure how to put into words what he was trying to tell her. "In a way, you lost someone. Recently."

"Bruce?" She raised both eyebrows at him in surprise, her voice also pitching higher than normal. "I'm sure he's still alive, somewhere out there." She said unconcernedly.

"I know, I'm not saying he isn't." He said quickly, raising his hands in a placating gesture. "But I know you felt his absence, all the same."

Natasha sighed heavily and looked away from him before replying. "I did. But it was my own fault that he left, anyway." She said, one of her eyebrows quirking up for a moment.

"What do you mean?" Steve tilted his head to get a better look at her face, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

She avoided his eyes, looking out at the other side of the room as she spoke, her eyes drawn to the scenery out the window. "He wanted to go away. He said he couldn't be in a fight near civilians after what happened in South Africa, but I ignored that." She paused and swallowed visibly for a moment, unsure if she should say the next words before she did so anyway. "I─I betrayed him and forced the Hulk out. So that one's on me."

"I didn't realize that." He told her softly, his voice devoid of any sort of judgement, and she glanced back appreciatively at him. "You know, I told him to take you out and disappear, to get away from this, when we got to Sokovia." Steve had felt so guilty that he'd jeopardized her safety when he put the mission first, telling Clint to take the cradle back to Tony when Ultron had taken her, that he'd really wanted Bruce to take her as far away from that fight as possible.

"I know." She gave him a small smile at that. Natasha had already figured out that Bruce wouldn't have wanted to take her away without clearing it with the others, or at the very least with Steve. They'd all accepted him as their Captain and stuck to his orders on the battlefield, after all.

"But you came back." He noted, his voice impossibly low and soft as he stared back at her. "You joined the fight."

"Of course." She said, shaking her head a little and answering his unspoken question. "The city was flying, I couldn't just go away and leave you all behind. I'm an Avenger."

They stared at each other for a moment, until Natasha broke away from his gaze, looking down at the towel that was still in her hands, stained red from his blood. "I'm not gonna lie, the way he left all of a sudden, it hurt." She said, her words coming out as a mere whisper now, then she was shaking her head. "But it can't compare to what I would've felt if, say, you or Clint had died. Which is why I chose to stay and fight."

Steve felt his breath hitching in his throat at what she said. They'd been friends and partners for a long while now, so he knew they cared for each other, even if they rarely used words to explicitly convey this, so hearing her equate his relationship with her to what she had with Clint had thrown him a little. He felt touched that she cared so much about him, apparently more so than what she'd felt for Banner as she'd been willing to betray him and throw away her chance at a life with him to come back for them. To keep on fighting and avenging. And she was still here, by his side.

Natasha turned to him, apparently oblivious to the surprise he'd felt, reaching for his hand that was resting on the bench between them. "And I guess that's what Wanda is going through right now. You're right, I'll work on it with her." She lightly squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Steve."

He stared at her for a moment longer, before he also gave her a smile in return. "Of course, Nat. I'm here whenever you need to talk about anything." He squeezed her hand back then added in a gently teasing tone. "Or maybe just use me as a punching bag."

Her lips twitched for a moment, then she narrowed her eyes at him and shoved his shoulder rather roughly, but he took in stride and just chuckled softly back at her.


	10. Memories

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Set in Captain America: Civil War, when they're going back home from Lagos. I'm expounding a little on Natasha's "You could at least recognize me" line from later on when she's fighting the brainwashed Bucky and, admittedly, throwing in another complication on their way to Romanogers. People are going to hate me, I know. But this is my idea of a very canon-compliant, extremely slow-burn Romanogers, as they didn't get together for ten years (according to my other story, Lights Will Guide You Home) so there had to be reasons for that other than their stubbornness/blindness/general idiocy regarding their feelings for each other.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_10\. Memories_

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, Natasha sighed heavily and looked around her for a moment. After handling the aftermath of their mission by returning the bio-weapon to the local authorities, dealing with search and rescue following the explosion and liaising with Tony's foundation people for recovery efforts in the affected areas, it had been hours after nightfall when they were finally able to get to their Quinjet and head back home. Sam had taken over the pilot's seat, as even though they were fully equipped with autopilot functions he was always more comfortable doing the flying himself. Natasha had spent a few minutes sitting with Wanda, trying to reassure her that what happened wasn't her fault, but the Scarlet Witch was too tired and distraught for any real conversation at the moment, so she decided to give the young girl some space. Which left Natasha looking for the last member of their group that had come on this mission.

She found Steve at one of the seats right at the back of the jet, apparently already going through the mission report in the pad in his hands. She approached him with light footsteps and sat quietly next to him. "Hey," she whispered at him.

"Hey," he replied, looking up from the pad, his brow furrowed in concern. "How is she?"

"Tired, upset," Natasha sighed in reply. "I told her to try to get some sleep, we have a long flight back home."

"You should probably do the same," he told her softly, looking attentively at her face now, probably noticing her own signs of fatigue.

"I don't think I'd be able to sleep right now," she shook her head lightly. She leaned her head back against the wall with a dull thud, looking up at the ceiling before sighing once more. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault."

"What?" Steve tilted his head a little to look at her and, if possible, the frown on his face became even more pronounced.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes. "I was in charge of training Wanda. I thought she was ready." She shook her head despondently and pursed her lips into a serious line. "God, I told you she was ready to go out in the field."

He turned in his seat so that he was fully facing her. "Nat, this isn't on you. Or on Wanda. If she hadn't been there, I would be dead now." Natasha felt a shiver run down her spine at his words, and thankfully he didn't seem to notice this as he shook his head, apparently lost in his thoughts. "I had Rumlow, I should've dealt with that bomb vest right away instead of getting suckered on by the mere mention of Bucky."

She gave him a small, sad smile. "Then I guess it's on both of us. This leading thing is hard." She couldn't help but heave another sigh.

"I know." He returned a small, sad smile of his own then and they grew silent for a few minutes.

"What did he say?" Natasha found herself asking the question in a gentle tone. "About Barnes?"

Steve was quiet for a long time as he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands just hanging there as he looked down at the floor. "He told me he remembered me." He finally said, his voice heavy now. "Back in D.C., I suppose. He remembered me before they made him forget me again."

She leaned a little forward as well as she frowned at him. "I think he does remember you, Steve. He ended up saving you."

He turned his head to look at her with a confused frown. "What are you talking about?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "When the helicarriers came down, he took you out of the Potomac." At the blank look on his face, both her eyebrows shot up. "You didn't know that?"

He was shaking his head before she could even finish her question. "No, I thought it was you or Sam. How did you know it was him?"

"I saw him, from the chopper." She told him quietly, feeling another shiver run down her spine as she remembered that moment quite vividly. It was one memory she actively tried to ignore, but she could still see it now: watching one of the helicarriers bear down on the Triskelion as the others rained down their destruction over the Potomac, her heart beating frantically in her chest as they searched desperately for Steve among the wreckage. "We were looking all over for you, and something shiny and metallic caught my eye down the river, way out of the destruction area, and I realized it was his metal arm as he dragged you to shore. By the time we touched down and got to you, he was gone but I know it was him."

Steve sat up straighter at this. "I had no idea. How come you never told me this before?" His tone of voice wasn't accusing, but more curious than anything.

She shrugged her shoulders quietly. "I don't know, we were so worried about getting you to the hospital then I had to go over to Capitol Hill and deal with all that mess." Truth be told, she hadn't really thought about it until now, as back then she'd been nearly going out of her mind as they waited for him during his surgery. She pushed those memories away and focused back on Steve's face, on the present. "I thought Sam had told you."

"He didn't. I guess we were all too caught up on other things at the time." He gave her a sad little half-smile then.

As she looked him in his clear blue eyes, she swallowed hard for a moment and before she could really think about it the words were coming out of her mouth. "Listen, while we're on the subject, there's something else I never told you." She paused for a moment, unsure of how to go on, and he waited patiently, looking attentively at her. "Ever since we first met Wanda in South Africa back when we were dealing with Ultron, I've started to remember things." She furrowed her brow and shook her head a little. "My past has always been something of a blurry mess. I know a little of what it's like to have your memory wiped and something else put in there." She gave him a rather rueful smile then, raising an accompanying sardonic eyebrow. "At one point, I actually believed I was trained to be a ballerina back in Russia, when in fact that was a cover for the training I received to be an assassin."

Something flashed in his eyes then, too many emotions swirling in the depths of his blue for her to discern them completely. "God, I had no idea, Nat," he said, his voice heavy as he shook his head.

"Yeah, but that's not what I'm trying to tell you." Her lips twisted in a sad smile and she took a deep breath to steel herself. "When I was being trained to be the Black Widow, I remember meeting him. The Winter Soldier. He was one of my handlers and instructors. I guess it's no wonder the KGB was HYDRA, too." One of her eyebrows flickered up at that last observation.

For a moment, Steve only stared and blinked his eyes back at her, as if his brain was still trying to wrap itself around what she'd told him. "Bucky _trained_ you?"

"Yes." Natasha nodded solemnly back at him, and now that she'd told him, the words just kept tumbling out of her mouth, trying to give him as many details as she could remember of that time of her life. "He wasn't there all the time, someone else had actually been in charge of me ever since I can first remember. But he came around the time of my graduation ceremony at the academy and when I was being trained for special assignments. One of my first missions was with him, actually."

Steve sat back and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment. "This is… bizarre, Nat." He removed his hand and blinked his eyes heavily at her, seeming at a loss for words.

She gave him a pained, understanding smile. "I know. It's really weird to think he almost killed me twice since then." She grimaced at the memory, then sighed a little. "But I also always wondered why he didn't take me down those times. He has impeccable aim, he could've taken me out if he really wanted to, but one shot went through my abdomen and another through my shoulder." She paused for a moment, her eyes far away as something she'd been thinking for a while now just came out of her mouth in an attempt to comfort and reassure him. "I think that even if he was programmed by HYDRA and used as a weapon, a part of him was still there, protecting the people he cared about in his own way."

Steve's eyes widened a little at that. "He cared about you?"

Her eyes snapped back to his, as she realized just what she'd said. "Ah, I'm not sure." As Steve kept staring into her eyes she felt highly disconcerted. Natasha didn't particularly want to tell him about this, but she didn't want to lie to him either. "I don't have very clear memories of this, but something tells me we were more than handler and spy, at some point." She finally admitted in a whisper.

His whole expression softened then, something in his eyes telling her he'd heard more in her words than what she'd wanted to say. "Did you love him?" He asked her quite simply then, his voice impossibly gentle.

Anyone else asking her something like this and she would've bristled and left it unanswered, but this was Steve, so of course she didn't. "I don't think so." She was quick to answer, her brow furrowed as she shook her head at him, trying to make him understand. "I didn't know what love was, back then. Also I'm not the same person I was, and neither was he. I don't actually know him, the Bucky you know, the guy who was your best friend."

He gave her an actual smile then, albeit a small one. "You would've liked him."

"I'm sure I would." Her lips twitched up for a moment.

"And he would've liked you." He raised his eyebrows at her now.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Is this payback for all those times I tried to set you up on dates?'

"Maybe." Steve answered with a teasing smile, but then his expression softened once more. "I just want you to be happy, Nat."

"I know." Natasha smiled back at him. "But you know, I'm happy just as I am, leading this team with you. Even if we are in a bit of a mess right now." She finished with a slight roll of the eyes.

"I know." He said, reaching out and giving her hand a tender, reassuring squeeze. "We'll handle it."

Natasha smiled appreciatively back at him. She knew everything would be alright as long as they managed to keep together.

She had no idea how in the course of a couple of days she would be proven just how right she was, only in rather ironic, terrible and catastrophic ways as her team, her family, was split apart like in a civil war.


	11. Reds, Blondes and Brunettes

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Set during CA:CW, on the Quinjet while Steve and Bucky head to Siberia.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_11\. Reds, Blondes and Brunettes_

As he activated the stealth mode and auto-reflective panels, Steve set the course on autopilot for the location of the secret HYDRA base in Siberia following Bucky's coordinates then he got up from the pilot seat to check what was in the Quinjet in terms of firepower. No doubt there would be at least a couple of handguns and maybe even a rifle, as he knew Natasha liked to keep stashes basically everywhere. He had teased her for being so paranoid, but now he was actually glad that she was always so prepared. And he was immensely relieved that he hadn't had to fight her in Leipzig.

His heart had dropped for that one second he thought she would attack him─and he would've let her, he hadn't even raised his shield to defend himself as he hadn't had it in him to actually fight _her_, anyone but her─before she actually shot at T'Challa and told them to go.

He'd just found a case with one of her favorite rifles when Bucky walked up to him and it was almost like he'd read his mind as he inquired quietly. "That woman who let us go, the redhead? Who is she?"

The corners of Steve's mouth turned up as he lifted the rifle and inspected it. Perfect working condition and recently cleaned, just as he expected. "She's a friend. Natasha Romanoff."

Bucky watched him for a moment before Steve lifted his head and passed him the weapon. He furrowed his forehead in thought. "I think I know her." He said softly. "I remember she was with you in D.C., and I think I saw her somewhere else, on another mission." There was something about a mission, many years before. He remembered a mark, an Iranian man, and a road in Ukraine. He thought he shot her, but she'd been far away, he hadn't really looked at her face. But when he'd seen her at the airport and then up close in the hangar, something clicked in his brain but he still couldn't quite place it. "But there's something else…"

Steve watched him for a moment, as Bucky shook his head and continued furrowing his brow in frustration. "You probably knew her in Russia as Natalia Alianovna Romanova."

Bucky's eyes snapped up from the rifle to his friend's face. Hearing that name brought a rush of memories to him, like so many pieces of a puzzle falling into place in his mind to complete the picture that was missing. "Natalia. Yes." He said, his blue eyes widening with recognition. "I remember now. She told you that?" He asked, a tone of wonder in his voice.

Steve nodded solemnly at him. "She remembers you. Said the Winter Soldier was one of her handlers in the Red Room."

Bucky's eyebrows shot up in his forehead. "She was KGB? They used me to train some of their elite agents." He still only had bits and pieces of his memory, but he knew that much, that HYDRA had been deep in the KGB, as well. Focusing back on the present, he shook his head despondently. "God, I'm so sorry, Steve. I can't believe I almost killed your girl twice. Well, three times now, actually." He furrowed his brow once more, thinking of that moment during his mad escape while he'd been brainwashed when he'd almost choked her to death.

Steve frowned at him then. "She's not my girl. I told you, we're just friends."

"Really?" Bucky said and raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?" Steve raised an eyebrow right back.

Bucky felt the corners of his mouth turning up almost instantly. "Uh, I may have been out of your life for a long while now, Steve, but I know you." God, it'd been years, a lifetime since they'd talked like this, but it was just like riding a bike. "There's something going on between the two of you."

"There isn't." The blonde man countered at once, almost with a sigh. "She's actually one of my best friends. We've been partners for a long time now. We were running our team together."

"Yet she took Stark's side?" Bucky frowned in confusion at this. He still didn't understand all that had happened with this whole Sokovia Accords situation, but he'd expected someone who was Steve's best friend and partner to stand with him on this. That Wilson guy, as annoying as he'd been, had at least had Steve's back there.

Steve's jaw tightened and tensed up. "She had her reasons."

"Hum." Bucky merely murmured, quirking one of his eyebrows up as he read his body language. He could feel that was still a complicated and possibly sour point for him. "Then she let us go."

The tension seemed to leave his frame a little at this. "She did."

"I see." Bucky whispered, still looking attentively at his friend's face.

Steve didn't know what exactly he was seeing, but if there was someone who could probably read him like a book, it was Bucky. And possibly Natasha, he thought, internally rolling his eyes to himself. "What do you remember about her?" He asked, moving about the Quinjet once more in search of firearms.

Bucky placed the rifle back in its case and followed Steve's movements with his eyes as he thought about it for a moment. "I remember training her in combat techniques and sharp-shooting. Running a couple of ops with her when she was starting out right after the Red Room. Why?"

"She said something about you." He said casually without looking up from his search through the cabin. "That the two of you may have been involved at some point?"

Bucky's jaw tensed up then. So _that_ was what Steve was getting at. "It wasn't like that." He shook his head quickly.

Steve immediately paused in what he was doing and looked up at him, reading something in his tone of voice. "So you two _were_ together then?"

"No." He shook his head once more, pausing for a moment. How was he going to explain this to him? He knew Steve wasn't a prude and he _had_ been living for awhile in the 21st century now, but talking about the fact that he'd had casual sex after a couple of ops with the girl he was sure his best friend had feelings for, despite his protests, was definitely not how he wanted to go about this. "We didn't do relationships, Steve." He finally said, trying to explain it as best as he could without being too explicit. "We were programmed, being used as weapons at the service of the Soviets and HYDRA."

Steve straightened up and looked firmly back at him. "Okay. But that's different now."

Bucky crossed his arms and raised a rather sardonic eyebrow. "I see what you're doing." He drawled out. "She's not the same person I knew, and neither am I."

"She said the same thing." Steve said softly, the corners of his mouth turning up.

"And it's the truth." He told him earnestly, trying to make him understand. "I knew Natalia Romanova. She was a completely different person than the Natasha Romanoff you know. Natalia would have never let us go in that hangar. She would've killed the two of us before we even stepped close to this Quinjet."

"Then you got a second chance." Steve countered in his own earnest, firm tone of voice. "Both of you."

"First of all, I think we have more pressing matters to handle than me getting a girl," he raised an eyebrow sardonically at him once more, "like stopping some mad Winter Soldiers and getting rid of this damn programming in my head. Second, I have no interest in her like that." He shook his head and smiled softly back at him. "Besides, I'm not the one she wants, Steve."

"You say you don't know her, so how can you be so sure about that?" It was Steve's turn to raise an eyebrow at him.

"Because I know you, and I could see how much you mean to her when she let us go." Man, how could that little punk be so blind? Bucky felt like hitting him upside the head, like when they'd been kids, for how stupid he was being. "I also saw the look on your face that one second you thought she was going to attack you before she hit that guy in the catsuit. She means the world to you, Steve. I don't know why you haven't told her so."

"I told you, Buck. It's not like that with us." Steve sighed once more, crouching down and pulling out a small case from a hidden compartment. "She only sees me as a brother and told me as much."

"But that's not what you want, is it?" Bucky insisted, raising an eyebrow at him.

"It doesn't matter." Steve shook his head, opening the case and finding a handgun inside and a couple of extra clips. "We have other things to worry about right now." He checked the gun, placed it in his holster and pocketed the clips.

"We have a long flight until we get there." Bucky shrugged his shoulders casually and smiled at him. "We might as well use the time and talk about everything."

"I never thought there would come a day you'd be bugging me about the women in my life," Steve said, his blue eyes twinkling a little in amusement at him. "It used to be the other way around."

"Which reminds me, who was the blonde you kissed?" Bucky asked, his smile turning into a smirk.

Steve could've slapped himself on the forehead for that one. He'd walked right into it. Hell, he'd been the one to practically bring that up again. "She's a CIA agent, she used to work for SHIELD. Her name is Sharon Carter."

"_Carter_?" Bucky's eyebrows shot up in his forehead in surprise at this.

"Yeah." He said, already feeling the heat on his cheeks. "She's Peggy's niece."

He blinked his eyes a couple of times and furrowed his eyebrows in thought. "That's… weird." He'd actually wanted to say 'creepy' but settled on the more neutral term. What the hell was Steve doing with this mess of these women in his life? Clearly he was still as hopeless as he'd been when they were young.

"I try not to think about it." Steve shrugged his shoulders, moving about the cabin once more, checking if there were more guns or ammunition hidden elsewhere. "She and Peggy are completely different women."

"I mean, she's pretty and looks like a nice gal," Bucky commented, bobbing his head left and right, turning around so that he was following Steve's movements as he moved around him. "She brought you your shield and everything."

"She did, at great personal risk." Steve said softly, nodding his head.

"You looked guilty after kissing her." Bucky noted in a conversational tone.

"Wrong timing, I guess." Steve shook his head a little.

"Sure it had nothing to do with the redhead?" One of Bucky's eyebrows quirked up as he smiled gently at him.

"Drop it, Buck." Steve looked sharply up at him. "Nat has actually been pushing me to date Sharon for the past couple of years now."

"The two of you have some very fucked up dynamics there, punk." Bucky said with some wonder in his voice, shaking his head and frowning a little at him once more.


	12. Red Tape

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. Just as Daredevil and its characters belong to Marvel Televisions, ABC Studios, Netflix and many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Set during CA:CW, after Nat and Tony talk at the compound. This chapter references The Incredible Hulk and the tie-in comic Fury's Big Week, but I'm keeping the dates according to the MCU timeline with The Incredible Hulk taking place in 2009, Iron Man 2 in 2010, Thor in 2011 and so on. _And_ I'm bringing in Matt Murdock from the Daredevil TV series, throwing in his comic connection to Black Widow. This is deviating a bit, as it's not strictly Romanogers, but it's another one of my head-canons and I thought it was important to the narrative, so here we go.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_12\. Red Tape_

Natasha felt livid. She was stuck between two incredibly stubborn, prideful men and the huge rift that their differences were causing in the team, and the consequences were already upon them: Rhodey, probably paralyzed from the waist down; Sam, Wanda and Clint serving time in a supermax prison in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, along with the unsuspecting Scott Lang that had turned up all of a sudden; Steve and Barnes, off to God knows where to fight these Winter Soldiers by themselves. And here was Tony accusing her of double-crossing him, as if she were supposed to choose sides when they were all Avengers and all she'd ever done was try to keep everyone safe and together.

"T'Challa told Ross what you did, so they're coming for you." She supposed that was his idea of an apology, a warning for something she already knew that was coming. She'd known the moment she made her decision and let Steve go in that hangar back in Germany.

"I'm not the one who needs to watch their back."

Even as she said her biting parting words to Tony, Natasha was already moving fast. Really, she'd been moving fast the moment she'd first hit the Crown Prince of Wakanda in the chest. Not once, not twice, but three times. She would've been stupid if she would even consider that T'Challa wouldn't tell the Secretary of State just what exactly she'd done to him and Natasha Romanoff was definitely not stupid.

She had a plan. She always had a plan. There were always escape routes, safe houses, secret stashes, packed bags, prepaid phones, unmarked vehicles and untraceable offshore accounts in her life. It was how she was raised and trained to be. Always the spy, always on the move, always three steps ahead. She would always hope that she'd never have to use them. When she left SHIELD behind and stepped up as an Avenger she really thought she'd have no more use for all of that.

Still, she had kept them. And now she found herself glad that she'd done so as she'd need to use it all once more.

Taking the packed bag she kept hidden in her room and one of the cars from the garage of the compound, she stepped on it and took I-87 heading south. She ditched it in Newark near the airport, avoided all the street cameras and soon enough she found herself in the building garage where she kept one of those unmarked vehicles. Getting back out on the road, she checked her hair in the rear view mirror, contemplating which new color she should use this time, and activating a secure line on the car phone as she dialed the familiar number.

"Hey, Laura." She said softly as soon as the line picked up.

"Nat?" Her friend gasped back in surprise.

"How are you doing?" Natasha asked, already guessing at the answer and dreading it.

"I'm… Nat, I'm freaking out." Laura's voice shook as she told her this and Natasha pursed her lips into a thin line. "They put him in some secret prison in the middle of nowhere and they won't let me see him. They're calling him a war criminal, a terrorist! I can't even get him a lawyer. I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Listen, you don't have to worry about it," Natasha told her firmly, the grip on the steering wheel turning her knuckles white. "I'm going to fix this, I promise."

"How?" Laura breathed out. Her tone wasn't one of doubt, but of wonder.

"You know me. I'll use every trick in the book." The corners of her mouth turned up. Laura didn't need to know that, but everything in the book, off the book and frankly even throwing out the damn book would probably go down for this. "I'll get him back to you and the kids. I will."

"I know you will, Nat. I trust you," Laura replied promptly, causing this warm feeling to spread out through Natasha's body. To think that she'd have a friend who would still trust her like this, even after she'd been on opposite sides of a fight with her husband. "But what about you?"

"That might take a while," the redhead drawled out. "I'm not sure when we'll be able to see each other again. Tell the kids to be good 'cause their dad will soon be there."

"I will. Be safe, okay? And make sure you keep Cap and those guys out of trouble." Laura said softly, a hint of a smile in her voice.

Natasha smiled to herself at that. Funny how Laura had become as well-versed in reading her as Clint was. Or maybe she was just becoming predictable. "I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

Making good use of that car phone and the encrypted secure line, Natasha placed several other calls and cashed in all sorts of favors and even metaphorically twisted a few arms as she headed down to her first stop: Culver University, Virginia. It'd been almost seven years since she was last on that campus, but she remembered vividly posing as a student to keep tabs on Dr. Elizabeth Ross. Back then, there had been chatter that Bruce Banner was on the move back to the US and Fury had wanted her to be infiltrated in case he tried to make contact with his former girlfriend, so Natasha had been right there when Ross and his men had rather disastrously tried to take him in, nearly resulting in Betty's death and Natasha herself had suffered some minor damage as well, which had pissed her off at the time.

She pushed those thoughts aside and the immense feeling of awkwardness that she was coming to Bruce's ex-girlfriend, of all people, for help. She hoped whatever Betty Ross once felt for him had been strong enough that she would be willing to help his friends now─if she even had the right to call herself that, but desperate times and all of that. She quickly made her way through campus, locating the biology department, sitting down on a bench and staking out the exits. It wasn't long before the woman she was looking for walked out.

"Excuse me. Dr. Ross?" Natasha approached her with a disarming smile.

"Yes?" The brunette looked up with a polite smile of her own. Betty Ross looked almost the same as she did all those years ago. There was a refreshing quality about her and her clear blue eyes, which just then she blinked up at Natasha with something like recognition. "I'm sorry, I never forget a face and yours is very familiar, but I can't place the name. Were you a student here?"

"Not quite." Natasha said, her smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. Technically, Nancy Roberts had been a student there, but that wasn't her, or not anymore anyway. "We don't know each other, but we have someone in common. My name is Natasha Romanoff and I work with the Avengers."

"Oh!" Betty breathed out, her whole posture going rigid in a second and she stepped closer, her blue eyes looking avidly into her face. "Where is he? Is he okay? Please, just tell me he's okay."

"I─I'm not sure." Natasha replied, feeling a little thrown at her reaction. She hadn't expected her to be still so attached to Bruce, even after all these years. She knew how he'd kept away from Betty, because he didn't want to put her in danger again and Tony had kept him stashed away at the Tower, practically hidden from government and public alike and only heading out on missions when they had all been working together. Shaking her head a little, Natasha continued. "Officially, he's AWOL. But we have every reason to believe he's still alive." He'd still been as indestructible as ever the last time she saw him, after all.

Betty seemed somewhat reassured at this and breathed out a sigh of relief. As she kept looking at the redhead in front of her, her brow furrowed softly in thought. "This isn't about Bruce, then."

"I was hoping you'd be willing to help me, for his sake." Natasha felt bad for manipulating the woman. But in a way, this was the truth. She didn't know where he was, but if Bruce had been here he would never have agreed to sign the Accords, that much she knew. He'd always been very against any sort of government claiming their strength, especially the Hulk's, as their own. And wherever he was, she hoped they got rid of this Accords mess before he came back. Plus Secretary Ross never stopped trying to get a hold of him, even after his military career was shot to hell with that mess in Harlem. She still had no idea how he'd managed to weasel his way into the DOS, of all places.

The doctor's shrewd blue eyes kept looking at her, then her brow unfurled in dawning understanding. "This is about my father and those Sokovia Accords that were on the news, isn't it? And everything that happened in Vienna, Bucharest and in Berlin?"

Natasha merely gazed firmly back at her. She could see why Bruce had liked her. "Yes."

The brunette took a deep breath in and out. "What do you need?" At Natasha's rather surprised flickering eyebrow at her simple and straightforward response, she shrugged her shoulders easily. "My father let his ambition get the best of him. He tricked Bruce, he tricked us into helping with his research, claiming the serum was supposed to make the subject immune to gamma radiation, withholding information that it was actually an attempted recreation of the super soldier serum. So yeah, tell me what you need and I'll see what I can do."

Natasha smiled gratefully back at her. They started walking together as she outlined her plan and what she'd already set in motion on her way to meet her. After settling things with Betty and thanking her for her help, she got back into her car heading north back to New York. On the way there, she dialed another number she knew quite well.

"Any chance you're on the east coast?" She asked without preamble, not bothering with niceties, as they'd never had any need for that between them.

"I might be. So what are you up to now?" Nick Fury drawled out unconcernedly in reply.

"I need dirt on Ross." She said, going straight to the point. "Physical, tangible, binding dirt. I know you have it, boss."

"I suppose I do." He said, never one to give a straight answer if he could help it. "Wanna tell me what the hell you were all thinking when you decided to blow up half the airport in Leipzig?"

"I was trying to keep us together." She said, her tone clipped. "It didn't work, so now I need to backtrack and do what I can to fix this."

"This is not on you, Natasha." Fury said, his tone too light for her caring.

"It's on all of us." She hissed back, swallowing hard for a moment before talking again. "We all let the situation get this far and I can't let them sit in a prison like criminals, Nick. My sources tell me they put Wanda in a straight-jacket with a shock-collar, like she's a goddamn animal! She doesn't deserve that. None of them do."

She heard the man sigh before replying. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks." She told him sincerely, knowing it wouldn't be long before she heard back from him.

Night had fallen when she got to Manhattan, finding her way to one of her safe houses on the island and making preparations before getting to her last stop on the day's itinerary. Breaking in to his apartment was easy, of course, but she wasn't quite prepared for the amount of time she'd be kept waiting for him. All part of his new nightly routine, she guessed. But she wasn't too concerned, helping herself to the leftover Thai food on his fridge and at last he returned home late in the small hours. She was pleased to note the surprised posture as he walked into his living room to find her sitting comfortably in an armchair.

"Natasha Romanoff." Matt Murdock, dressed in some sort of bodysuit in dark red and black, carrying a mask in his hands, said with wonder in his voice. "Long time no see."

"I'm glad your sense of humor is still intact, Matt." She smirked back at the blind man. "How are you doing?"

"Not too bad." He said easily, and the comfortable way he moved around let her know he thought she wasn't a threat to him. "I got my own practice. Those aliens destroying half of Manhattan helped me get a nice office in Hell's Kitchen at a moderate price that we can actually afford, so thanks for that, I guess."

"Glad to be of service." She drawled out, still with that smirk on her lips.

"And how may I be of service to you?" He asked gallantly, ever the gentleman, furrowing his brow after a moment as he thought about it. "Is there trouble in the area?"

"You'll probably know more about that than me, to be honest." She said, getting up from the armchair and walking leisurely back to his kitchen, opening his fridge and helping herself to one of his beers. "I know you're still active, heard you've been causing quite a stir in the area. But that's not why I'm here. I actually need your legal expertise." She popped the bottle open and took a long draught.

"Huh. Can't say that was what I expected." He said, walking up to her and she handed him a second beer bottle, which he accepted promptly. "Are you in trouble with the law? Again?"

"Yes and no." She leaned back against the counter and bobbed her head left and right. "I am in something that may be called trouble, but the help I want is not for me. I have some friends that need it more."

"Do tell." He asked then took a long draught of his own bottle.

"I'm in the process of getting everything you'll need," she explained. "Affidavits, transcriptions, legal paperwork, search warrants and findings."

"Anything legit?" He smirked at her before taking another sip of his beer, remembering quite well who she used to be and what she used to do.

"Yes, it's all legit." She rolled her eyes at him, knowing he could hear it in her voice even if he couldn't see it with his eyes. All the documents would be real, even if what she'd done to obtain them may have flirted with the line of what was lawful, but he didn't need to hear about that part. "This won't go to trial. I just need you to actually file everything and negotiate the terms with the feds. Get the best deal that you can."

"You're doing all my homework for me," he smiled and shook his head a little at her. "You were always such an overachiever, Nat."

"Well, you know me," she shrugged her shoulders easily. "And I did infiltrate a couple of legal offices back in the day, so I know how it works."

"How many deals are we talking here?" He asked, walking around her and leaning his forearms on the counter.

"I'd think two," Natasha narrowed her eyes a little as she thought to herself for a moment. "My friends have families, they can't be on the run with me."

"Why would you need to be on the run?" He countered, a tone of curiosity in his voice. "Why not let me negotiate a deal for you as well?"

"Well, I doubt that even with everything I got I'd be able to get _that_ good a deal," she drawled out before taking another sip of her beer. "You know I'm not going to sacrifice my freedom to be holed up somewhere, even if for a short while. I gotta keep moving."

"Not by yourself, I hope." He murmured, a slight tone of worry in his voice then.

"Don't worry. I got back-up." She assured him easily.

He grinned at her then. "Yes, I'd think Captain America would qualify as back-up."

She flickered one of her eyebrows up at this and smirked at him. "Have you actually started to read people's minds or have I become _that_ transparent?"

"Trust me, you're still harder than most to read, but it's not that big of a leap, if you're saying you'll be on the run and he's been all over the news as a fugitive of the law, _again_." He said, making a disarming gesture of the hand and pausing for a moment. "Dèjá vu? Same thing happened two years ago, right?"

"Different circumstances, same consequences, I guess," she commented, nursing her beer for a moment. "This time I expect we'll actually be on the run for a long while."

"That could get rough," he said, frowning a little at her.

"It's what I signed up for," she assured him with a quiet smile. "He's my partner. And they're our team."

Matt was silent for a minute, reading her in that preternatural way of his. "You changed, Nat."

"You haven't." She noted back.

"I'll take that as a compliment." He chuckled in response.

"It _was_ one. You know, you remind me of him." Natasha found herself saying with a soft smile. It was true, both men came from Irish Catholic upbringings, had a strong sense of justice, were always taking hits and getting back up, never knowing when to back down. Complicated past love lives, even. At least Steve's past hadn't tried to kill her.

Well, there _was_ Barnes, when she thought about it.

"Shouldn't it be the other way around? You met me first." Matt pointed out with a smile, bringing the bottle up to his lips.

"He predates you." She rolled her eyes a little in good humor.

"Fair enough." He conceded easily. "Alright. You know that my standard legal fees will apply."

"I was hoping to get a discount, considering San Francisco." She raised her eyebrows rather dryly at him. "Your ex left a not-so-pretty scar, after all."

"That was a misunderstanding." He said, shaking his head a little. "She thought you were a threat."

"Yeah, yeah, I heard that the first time." Natasha rolled her eyes again. Threat my ass, she thought to herself. That woman had been jealous, that's what. "Tell that to the knife I got on my back, _literally_."

"Okay, okay." Matt sighed in reply, then raised a hand up. "No pro bono, though. I know you can afford it."

"Deal." She smirked and extended a hand at him.

He shook her hand then. "When do I get to meet my defendants?"

"Uh, as soon as I get them out." She murmured, bringing the bottle up to her lips and drinking the last of the beer.

"Out?" He raised his eyebrows at her. "Where are they being held? Did they set bail yet?"

"Well, not Rikers. And I'm just about to go post it." She said, walking back to the living room and retrieving her jacket that she'd left draped over the back of his couch. "The paperwork will be sent directly to your office. Expect us back anytime from tomorrow up to a week from today, more or less."

"How… vague." Matt commented with raised eyebrows once more.

"Working with a moving timetable, here." She said easily, putting on her jacket. "Too many variables and it's not all up to me."

"You're not really going to post bail, are you?" Matt asked with a light chuckle in his voice.

"Not unless posting bail means breaking into a supermax prison." Natasha told him casually over her shoulder as she walked to his front door. "Bye, Matt."


	13. Prison Break

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. Just as Daredevil and its characters belong to Marvel Televisions, ABC Studios, Netflix and many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Set at the very end of CA:CW, starting out with the extra scene with T'Challa in Wakanda.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_13\. Prison Break_

"You know if they find out he's here, they'll come for him." Steve knew T'Challa was aware of that already, but he felt obligated to voice that out loud.

"Let them try." The soon-to-be new crowned King of Wakanda said calmly, looking out at the forest surrounding his fortress.

The super soldier smiled ruefully to himself. He doubted even Ross with all his resources would be able to breach through Wakanda's defenses, from what he'd seen of the hidden nation so far. He was really grateful to count T'Challa as his new friend and ally.

Steve cleared his throat then, looking down at the ground for a moment. "I'd hate to ask even more, after everything you've done for me─"

"Please, Captain. Do not hesitate to ask me anything." T'Challa interrupted him right away, making a dismissive hand gesture. "How may I assist you?"

"I need information," Steve said with a smile. "Now that Bucky will be alright here, I have to take care of my other friends."

"I'm sure our intelligence service would be able to provide you with whatever you need," T'Challa smiled easily back at him. "I'll have the General look it up for you."

They walked out together to set things up for Steve with Okoye. T'Challa needed to prepare for his coronation rituals and ceremony and he'd offered Steve to stay with them for the duration of the festivities, but the super soldier didn't want to intrude on such an important moment for the wakandans and he also needed to get things moving and make his own preparations.

It took Okoye only about two days to give all the information that Steve required, and he took another day studying the Raft and perfecting his plan to break out his friends from prison. Along with the vital information that he needed to execute his mission, Shuri and T'Challa had also given him a few tools to help him along, considering he was adamant to do this on his own.

So by the time he headed out on the "borrowed" Quinjet to the floating prison in the middle of the North Atlantic ocean, Steve's injuries from his battle with Tony had all about healed ─ the physical ones, that is. The emotional scars would take way longer to fade, if ever. Four days had been enough for him to recover, but he only dreaded just thinking of what those days in the Raft may have done to his friends. He approached the floating prison at the same time a cargo ship was headed in. With the Quinjet's stealth mode and auto-reflective panels on, they'd never seen the airship land quietly next to the small cargo plane. And Steve wasted no time heading into the prison in his usual manner: punching and kicking his way in, quickly incapacitating just about anyone in his path.

It all went quite smoothly, Steve practically only needing his fists to handle all those prison guards until he reached the control room and was greeted after stepping through the door by a guard that seemed to anticipate his move, quickly grabbing his wrist and twisting his arm behind his back in a surprisingly strong grip. Before he could react to this a second guard appeared at the doorway, leveled a gun at him and was about to take a shot when something just flew at the man out of nowhere, causing an electrical discharge that instantly toppled the guard over to the ground, unconscious.

Finally snapping out of it, he twisted his arm free and whirled around to face the first guard, but suddenly Steve was looking at a very familiar smirk and intense green eyes. "Whoa. Easy there, soldier."

"Nat?!" His eyes widened impossibly as he just gaped at her. Natasha was wearing a prison guard uniform, her hair was honey blonde and pulled up into a tight bun and she had in one of her hands her widow bites, ready to be used at a moment's notice. In her other hand he saw a synthetic mesh mask that obviously she'd been wearing until now, as he was sure that guard had not looked like her when he'd first entered the room. He also saw several guards already unconscious on the ground further into the room, which bore clear signs of a confrontation with some cracked screens and toppled chairs strewn about.

"Hi, Steve." Her smirk melted into an affectionate smile as she took him in. She noticed a faint hint of a fading bruise on his right cheekbone and privately wondered at what new invisible scars he was carrying now. She still wasn't sure of what had happened to him, but it was obviously bad.

"What are you doing here?" He unconsciously took a step forward, hand going up as if to touch her arm when he stopped himself and just stood before her, still wrapping his head around the fact that she was suddenly there with him.

"What does it look like?" She raised an eyebrow at him as she still regarded him with that smile, obviously pleased that she'd managed to surprise him so. "Helping you break out our friends from prison, of course."

"How did you get here?" He shook his head slightly, still marveling at her.

"I can tell you all the details of my infiltration plan later," she drawled out in her characteristic dry tone. "But I think it would be better if we hurry up now, before these guys wake up."

"Right." He seemed to focus back on what they'd come to do then, nodding back at her. "Okay, let's go."

"Get down there, I'll override their security protocols to open the cells." She said, going over to the main computer system and motioning with her chin down at the prisoner's floor. Then she raised an eyebrow at him once more. "What were you even going to do if I weren't here? Just punch your way through those doors?" Even if Steve had caught up quite easily to their current technology, hacking wasn't really his strong suit.

"It's worked before." He shrugged and grinned back at her, then walked over and took something out of his pocket. "But no, I got a little something to help out with that." It looked like a modified pen-drive, but nothing like she'd ever seen before, all black and smooth lines and made in vibranium, unless she was mistaken. Steve attached it to one of the system ports and a program started running automatically, going over resetting and overriding the prison's security protocols.

"Huh. I'll want to take a closer look at that later," Natasha merely said, raising a rather impressed eyebrow at him.

The pair quickly made their way out to the holding cells to free their friends, seeing as they'd already laid out all the prison guards between the two of them. Steve grinned as he walked up to Sam's cell and as he stood in front of him, there was a sudden beeping noise and the door retracted, automatically opening once Shuri's program concluded its task.

"Aren't you guys a sight for sore eyes," Sam chuckled at him, glancing over and seeing Natasha walking up to Clint's cell.

"Sorry we took so long." Steve murmured, clapping his arm and pulling him in for a quick hug.

"You're here now, it's all good." Sam grinned back at him and looked over Steve's shoulder at Scott, who was coming out of his cell. "See? I told you we wouldn't stay here for long."

"Never doubted you, sir." Scott said, making a hand salute at Steve.

"We've been over this, Scott," the super soldier rolled his eyes at him. "Just call me Steve."

"Friends?" Natasha smiled as she stood in Clint's cell, offering him a hand as he was still laying down on the bed.

"Always." He smiled and took her hand, pulling himself up to his feet. "Especially now that you came to your senses."

"We can talk about all of that later." She smiled ruefully back at him then motioned out with her head. "Help me with Wanda, will you?"

The Scarlet Witch looked at them with relief visible in her bloodshot eyes and pale face as they entered her cell. Natasha's expression turned dark and grim as she took in the girl's appearance, kneeling before her to remove the shock-collar from her neck. Pulling her gently to her feet, Clint wrapped his arms around her and supported her weight as Natasha removed the restraints and quickly shed her of the straight-jacket.

"Thank you," Wanda told her in a shaky, hoarse whisper as tears overflowed and ran down her face. Natasha only smiled and gently wiped her tears away with her fingers and Clint easily pulled her up in his arms to carry her out before the girl could even protest.

The group quickly headed out to the aerial pad and into the Quinjet, Sam and Scott grabbing their gear and suits out of the evidence vault and Natasha taking a detour back to the controlling room to erase the footage from the security system and recover Steve's pen-drive. As she joined them in the jet, she closed the ramp behind her and Sam was already in the pilot seat, taking them to the air and away from the Raft. Steve had quickly administered a sedative to Wanda to get her to sleep for a while, as she was rather in a state of shock and wouldn't stop silently crying, after Clint laid her down on the cot in the medical bay.

"So where are we going now?" The black man asked, turning in his seat to look over his shoulder at the group.

"I have a safe place we could stay at for a while, but I don't want to overstay my welcome." Steve said then, a concerned frown marring his face. "We're on the wrong side of the law now, so we'll probably need to keep moving to keep Ross off our track."

"Hold on," Natasha held up a hand and stepped up to Sam. "Before we do that, we need to drop off Clint and Scott in New York."

"New York?" Clint raised an eyebrow at her.

"Why?" Steve continued to frown in concern at that.

"I made some arrangements," Natasha said, shaking out her newly blonde hair out of the tight bun, leaving it out to fall in gentle waves down her back as she explained it. "I took care of Laura and the kids, made sure they were okay while we got you out. Your ex-wife and kid are also okay, Scott. But you guys can't be on the run with us, you have families that need you."

"What arrangements?" Scott asked, looking at her in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"I have a friend in Hell's Kitchen," Natasha said. "He's a lawyer."

"_Murdock_?" Clint's eyebrows raised up high in his forehead at this.

"Yes." Natasha's green eyes snapped quickly to his and a silent conversation seemed to take place between them in just a couple of seconds. "He's going to work out a plea deal with the feds for you. The details are still under negotiation, but we're thinking house arrest, two years, maybe."

"How did you manage that?" Sam asked, his voice full of wonder as he glanced over his shoulder at her.

"Cashed in a few favors, twisted a few arms." The blonde shrugged easily at that. She wasn't about to go into details of what exactly she'd done, but she'd probably used all the favors and leverage she'd had for this. It'd been very lucky that she'd once saved the life of the current Director of the FBI on one of her assignments with SHIELD, as well. "I could probably also get you the same deal if you'd like, Sam."

"And be confined to a house, sitting on my ass?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "No, thanks. I'd rather stay out here with you."

"Figured as much." She smiled and flickered an eyebrow back at him, then turned back to Clint and Scott. "We won't be able to be in contact with the two of you, at least while this situation with the Accords doesn't change. I'm also working at that from another angle, but it may be awhile before it's cleared out. But at least you get to be with your families."

"Wow. I don't know what to say." Scott blinked his eyes at her. "You don't even know me."

"It was nothing," Natasha shrugged dismissively, turning with a smile to her best friend then. "I had already promised I'd take care of this one for his wife, so negotiating two deals is no harder than negotiating one."

"Thank you so much. I can't believe I get to go home and see Cassie again." Scott said, taking her hand then and shaking it vigorously. "Now I'm really sorry I tried to take you down at that airport."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Ant-Man." She drawled out, smirking up at him. "You were never even close to taking me down."

"Only because I held back." He argued back good-naturedly. "I didn't want to hurt Captain America's girl!"

"She's not my girl!" Steve exclaimed suddenly and rather exasperatedly at the same time as Natasha raised an eyebrow and said in a calmer tone, "I'm not his girl."

Scott frowned his brow in confusion, his eyes darting from one to the other. "Okay…?"

"Don't worry about that." Clint said easily with a smirk, clapping a hand on his shoulder and leaning close to whisper in his ear. "These two have issues."

Natasha merely rolled her eyes at this while Steve's jaw tightened in tension as their enhanced hearings were enough for the two of them to catch that. Natasha stepped up to take the co-pilot seat next to Sam, giving him directions and looking up a place where they would be able to safely land in New York and Steve turned and walked back to check on Wanda.

A few hours later, night had fallen when they reached Manhattan, finding a rather isolated point at the piers next to Hell's Kitchen to land quietly and safely in stealth mode. As Natasha, Clint and Scott got changed into regular clothes and got ready to head out, Steve had a soft frown on his face as he stepped up to her.

"I should go out with you," he said then. "Just to be on the safe side."

"Safe side of what?" She said, shaking her hair out after pulling on a top. "This is Manhattan. No one's going to notice three more people just walking around in Hell's Kitchen."

"What if you run into trouble or someone recognizes you?" He continued to frown in concern at her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Steve, I'm actually a master at blending in and going on the run, remember? Clint is, too," she assured him with a soft smile. "Besides, if anyone's going to be recognized out there, it's you. The news has been all over you being a fugitive of the law again." His eyebrows flickered up momentarily as he inclined his head in a conceding gesture and she reached out, placing her hand comfortingly on his arm. "We'll be fine. I promise." He nodded back at her. He knew she was right, but he couldn't help but worry.

Wanda had woken up just before they landed and Clint knelt down in front of her before heading out. "Hey, kid. Cap tell you what's happening?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I'm glad you get to go home to your family, Clint."

He smiled back at her and just looked at her face for a moment, wondering not for the first time if he'd done the right thing by dragging her into this. He shook his head lightly, no room for regrets, after all. "He's gonna take care of you now. Make sure you have his back once you're up to your feet, alright?"

"I will," she smiled a little then.

He placed a tender kiss on her forehead then stood up, facing Steve, who had just stepped up to him. "I don't think I have to ask you to take care of them, right?"

"I got this," Steve said calmly with a somber nod.

"Good." Clint pulled him into a hug then glanced over Steve's shoulder at Natasha, who was pulling on a dark leather jacket. "You'll keep her safe, yeah?"

"I think you know better than anyone that she doesn't need me to take care of her," Steve said with a small smile. "And I always have her back."

Clint smiled ruefully back at him. Sharing a quick hug with Sam while Scott gave Wanda a kiss and pulled Steve into a too long hug of his own, the two of them then headed out after Natasha off towards Nelson & Murdock, Attorneys at Law.

* * *

"Hold on. Wait a minute." Foggy Nelson said, hands up and his voice pitched almost as high as his eyebrows had crawled up his forehead. "You know Black Widow?"

Natasha raised an amused eyebrow as Matt's partner was still gaping at her. The blonde man had widened his eyes at her and gone still in shock from the moment she'd stepped into his office with Clint and Scott in toe and had been quiet as she greeted Matt and made the introductions until he suddenly found his voice once more. They'd arranged to meet after their assistant had left to avoid awkward questions, but Matt wouldn't be able to keep this from his partner, as he'd need Foggy's assistance to work on the deals with the FBI.

The blind attorney shifted his weight rather uncomfortably from one foot to another. "Well…" Even if it had been awhile now that Foggy had learned about his alter-ego, they'd never gone into detail on his past endeavours as the Daredevil.

"How the hell do you even know Black Widow?" The blonde man exclaimed, throwing his arms up in exasperation and bafflement. "Is there some sort of secret superhero society? Are you friends with Iron Man, too? Spent holidays with Thor in Asgard? Own a timeshare with Captain America in the Hamptons?"

Scott snickered a little and Clint huffed in silent laughter at this, both watching with mild interest at this exchange between the two law partners. Natasha merely raised an eyebrow to herself once more at the thought of Matt and Steve owning a house together anywhere.

Matt heaved a small sigh. "Remember that summer internship I took in San Francisco back in 2011?"

"Yeah, at that bigshot law firm that turned out to be involved in that case of international money laundering." Foggy said at once, then furrowed his brow in thought. "Or was it terrorism? Whatever, it was something big and bad."

"Oh yeah, I remember that," Scott commented with raised eyebrows. "It was all over the news back home. They had ties to Al Qaeda or the Ten Rings or something."

"Yes, that one." Matt nodded back at him. "That's where we met."

"I was infiltrating the law office as a new associate to gain intel on one of their clients for SHIELD." Natasha decided to contribute a little to the explanation and help out the blind man with this apparent conundrum. "They were implicated later on as a branch of the Ten Rings in the US, laundering money for their terrorist actions all over the world."

Foggy's eyes widened once more has he took in her words and dawning realization was visible all over his face. "Holy shit." He whispered then turned back to his partner. "Are you actually telling me that that hot new associate that started working there around the same time as you and that became your girlfriend Natalie Rushman was _Black Widow_? You _went out_ with Black Widow?"

"Better yet, he lived to tell the tale." Clint quipped easily, earning a half-hearted backhanded slap from Natasha on his arm.

"Or not, actually." Matt turned to him with a rueful smile then continued in a teasing tone. "I believe I was threatened with bodily harm if I ever made such claims to any third party."

"Can we focus here?" Natasha crossed her arms sternly and resisted the urge to roll her eyes at all of them and this rather ridiculous conversation. "In case anyone's forgotten, I'm an actual fugitive of the law, so I can't stay around for too long."

"And now we're housing criminals." Foggy muttered dryly. "Awesome."

"I don't think you have much of a leg to stand on there, buddy," Clint interjected once more, as he raised an eyebrow at him, "being partners with Daredevil and everything."

"Oh." The blonde man merely said and paused for a moment. "I wasn't aware you knew about that. Okay, cool then." He shrugged his shoulders easily.

"You're Daredevil?" Scott raised his eyebrows at Matt in admiration. "Wow, dude! You're kind of huge here. I mean, New York has had a rise in heroes lately, but I have to say I think you're doing a great job, man."

"Okay, enough with the fangirling and the side talks." This time Natasha did roll her eyes at them, as she was growing tired of this. "Matt, I'm leaving these two in your hands. They'll be staying in a safe house here in Hell's Kitchen until everything is settled. Please take care of them and get them back to their families. Fast."

"Don't worry, we've already started on the paperwork that you sent ahead." Matt assured them, smiling easily back at her. "Like I told you, we might actually get a very good deal. I'm thinking two years in house arrest, ankle monitors. I got it covered, Nat."

She thanked and hugged him then, also shaking hands with Foggy, who was still regarding her with wide and apprehensive eyes. Scott then pulled her into quite a bone-crushing hug as he thanked her once more for everything she'd done for him and she just chuckled back at him as he finally let her go.

Clint then stepped up to her, smiling softly. "Hey, thanks."

She rolled her eyes a little at him. "Shut up." And then she was the one pulling him into a tight hug as they just stood in each other's arms for a moment, the other three men in the room looking away to give them some sense of privacy.

"Keep those guys out of trouble." Clint said, pulling back from the hug at last.

"I'll do my best." Natasha raised an eyebrow and smiled back at him. "Give Laura and the kids my love."

He nodded back at her and she turned around and walked out the door.

"I still can't believe you're on a first name basis with Black Widow." She heard Foggy's voice inside the office as she walked down the hallway.

"Well, we were almost living together in San Francisco, it would be _very_ weird if we weren't on a first name basis." Matt had replied rather smartly, and Natasha merely rolled her eyes to herself as she took the stairs down to the lobby.

* * *

A.N.: I hope you liked Matt and Foggy's short participation in this story and in how Clint and Scott got their deals. There is a rather lengthy conversation between Steve and Nat that was supposed to be in this chapter, but I've left it for the next one instead. We still have about six or seven chapters to go here, but they might take longer to come out, as I had a great portion of the previous chapters already written when I started posting this and now I need to write new content.


	14. Safe House

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Set immediately after the last chapter and early on after CA:CW when Steve, Nat, Sam and Wanda are going on the run.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_14\. Safe House_

The Quinjet took off as soon as Natasha returned and assured them that everything had gone as planned. Taking the co-pilot seat next to Sam once more, she gave him the coordinates for a safe house she had up north outside of Toronto, which was the closest one she had that wasn't on American soil. She'd actually wanted them heading somewhere farther away, like Central America or Southeast Asia where there were lots of islands and places less populated, but it was getting late and they all could use the rest for now before making any sort of long term plans.

It was a short flight and they were soon touching down on the field next to a house in a transition area between suburban and rural just outside of Toronto. It was a simple place, more of a cottage really, with two bedrooms and all the normal makings of a house. It was meant to be nondescript and quiet, to be used only for a short while and it was exactly what they needed.

Nondescript and quiet, of course, yet still with all the security equipment Natasha could think of for protection. She ushered them in through the deceptively reinforced front door and activated the systems, turning on an array of monitors mounted on the wall next to the door that kept visuals around the house and surrounding roads.

After this was done, they took Wanda into one of the rooms and settled her on the bed. She'd fallen asleep again after they left New York and hadn't woken up yet. They took it as a good sign for now. At the very least she needed to rest and recover from the experience that had been their stay at the Raft.

Natasha, Steve and Sam then searched through the pantry and managed to prepare an actual decent meal for them, making small talk as they ate and enjoyed each other's company. It almost felt like just another night at the compound, having dinner together in the common kitchen and unwinding after a day of training or missions.

"Well seeing as I'm not a super soldier or a super spy, my regular man ass is tired as hell so I'll get some shuteye now," Sam quipped, getting up from his seat and heading out of the kitchen.

Steve chuckled at him and Natasha smiled and waved as he disappeared into the second bedroom, closing the door behind him.

The remaining pair was in silence for a few moments as Natasha watched her partner attentively. "Steve?" He looked up at her, something about her tone putting him on guard. "What happened with Tony?"

When they'd broken everyone out of the Raft, Steve had only mentioned that the threat with the Winter Soldiers was handled, without going into any details, and they'd all taken one look at his face to leave it well alone. Natasha knew something had happened involving Tony, but she wasn't sure what exactly. As she had been leaving the compound heading fast for Newark, she'd seen Tony getting into the chopper and heading out as well so she'd tried to find out through her back channels what was going on. She found the priority upload from Berlin police about the body of the psychiatrist that was supposed to have interviewed Barnes and figured out the man that had met with him was actually behind this. Even as she set her plan in motion to infiltrate the Raft, she heard about how Ross's team had uncovered a secret HYDRA base in Siberia with five Winter Soldiers, all dead. T'Challa had also turned in one Helmut Zemo, the man responsible for the bombing at the UN, who was now in CIA custody. Then Tony had turned up back at the compound, apparently badly beaten up, worse than after Leipzig.

Steve sighed heavily now, running one hand tiredly through his hair. "He found out about Bucky," he said, looking down at the table rather than directly at her. "About his parents."

She tightened her hands into fists, barely feeling her nails digging into her palms or noticing her knuckles turning white. They'd never talked about what Zola's AI had showed and implied to them in that secret base in New Jersey two years ago concerning the deaths of Howard and Maria Stark. It had been just one more of the many shocking things they'd uncovered in the course of those days, from finding out HYDRA had been secretly operating inside SHIELD from the start to the fact that Bucky Barnes was actually the Winter Soldier.

To be honest, she'd forgotten about it in the immediate aftermath of that whole mess with the Insight helicarriers and taking down SHIELD. Months later, when Tony had called and asked her to join them with his new version of the Avengers Initiative, it had come reeling back to her. She'd thought about telling him, but ultimately she decided against it, thinking it would only upset him and possibly cause a rift between him and Steve and throw off the whole team dynamics. She also figured that if Steve hadn't told him so far then it wasn't her place to do so.

How ironic that not telling him then was exactly what had caused the biggest rift between them now.

Natasha listened as Steve quietly told her everything that had gone down in Siberia, how Tony had come after him to help, about meeting Zemo and seeing the actual footage of Howard and Maria's assassination. How Tony had seen red and how Steve had done everything he could to stop him from killing Bucky. How he'd left his shield behind.

At some point ─ she wasn't sure when ─ she'd reached across the table, gripping his hands tightly in hers as he told her all of this. "I screwed up, Nat." He finished with a despondent shrug, looking up into her eyes then.

"We both did," she sighed heavily in reply. She and Steve had screwed up when they lied to Tony by omission. When they'd failed to reach a middle ground with the Accords. When they hadn't managed to protect everyone. When they hadn't been the leaders they were supposed to be.

"You didn't," he protested and frowned a little at her. "You were only trying to keep everyone safe."

"So were you," she raised her eyebrows at him.

"I think I was only protecting myself, actually." He huffed out softly, looking up in thought for a moment, as he remembered the words on the letter he'd sent Tony just before he'd gone out to break into the Raft.

"I don't mean about Barnes." She clarified, still holding onto his hands. "The Accords and everything you did, it was all because you were trying to protect everyone in the only way you knew how. You were standing up to what you believe. That's what we were all doing. You, me, Tony. There was no easy solution here, Steve."

Natasha had tried to be the bridge between them, to keep everyone together. The way to go about this would've been if they had managed to compromise a little, on both sides. Amending the Accords so that the Avengers could retain some of their independence, like having the final say on which missions to take, while still remaining accountable to the UN Panel, who would oversee their activities and act as an advisory board. But there had been no time for that. Tony was dealing with the guilt of the consequences of his past actions, the backlash of the world judging on their failures and how they needed oversight, plus the strain of his break with Pepper and had wanted someone to take that weight from his hands. And Steve was still suffering from learning all the work they'd done for SHIELD had actually been tainted by HYDRA and how they'd been so close to almost allowing millions of innocent people to be wiped out in seconds, so he knew how letting someone else run them could have serious, devastating consequences, while he'd also been dealing with Peggy's death. Everything added up to put them in quite an impossible situation.

They lapsed into silence for a while as Steve seemed to take in her words and she also let her thoughts wander away. She focused back on him, noticing she was still holding his hands, so she gave them a final squeeze and let go. He looked back at her then. "So where's Barnes now?" She asked quietly.

"Safe." Steve sighed in reply and attempted a smile. "We're trying to find a way to remove his programming so that he will no longer be at risk of being used by others like Zemo."

"Let me guess: T'Challa?" She said, smile also pulling at the corners of her lips and an eyebrow raised at him.

"Yeah." He said, not bothering asking how she knew that, but she heard the unspoken question anyway.

"I've had my suspicions that Wakanda isn't all it seems for a while now." She said, shrugging her shoulders easily, then smiled a little back at him. "I hope he gets the help he needs there."

"Me, too." Steve said, the corners of his mouth pulling up for a moment, but then he grew serious again. "They both said they're sorry, by the way. Bucky, for attacking you in Berlin and T'Challa, for telling Ross that you attacked him."

"Tell them not to worry." Natasha said easily. "Barnes wasn't himself and I know all about what that's like. And as for T'Challa, it was my decision and despite what I said back then, I don't regret letting you go."

He paused as he looked at her for a moment. "Why did you do it?" He asked, curiosity lilting his voice.

Why had she done it? She'd never meant to be on opposite sides of a conflict with Steve, of all people. He was her friend and her partner, he'd told her he trusted her with his life and that meant she would always strive to be better, to keep earning his trust. But the situation with the Sokovia Accords changed everything. They weren't given any other option. Either they signed it and could continue doing something to help the world or they wouldn't be allowed to act anymore. She still had so much red on her ledger, she couldn't stop. And she doubted Steve would ever be able to stop either. She'd tried to make him see that, and she'd been terrified at the thought of what Ross would try to do if he didn't sign the Accords and kept Avenging. How he would go about trying to use him, how he'd once tried to use Bruce and the Hulk, how the Russians had once used _her_.

So when they went to Leipzig to intercept him, she had hoped they would be able to convince him, somehow, and keep Ross from going after him with guns blazing. That she would be able to get to him. But she'd failed and suddenly it had all come to blows, literally. That had never been the plan, she'd never wanted to battle anyone. So when she'd found herself in that hangar facing him, there was really only one thing that she could do.

Keeping most of these thoughts to herself, Natasha gave him a small smile and shrugged her shoulders. "It was the right thing to do."

She wondered if Steve could read her as easily as she could read him at times. If he could sense what was behind her words and her actions. The way he'd look deep into her eyes sometimes gave her the idea that he _did_ know. "Thank you, Nat." He told her sincerely then, and smiled a little. "I know I shouldn't be, as you've always been prepared for just about everything, but I'm impressed with what you managed to do here, infiltrating the Raft and arranging all of that for Barton and Lang."

She smiled slightly back at that. "As soon as I let you go in Leipzig, I knew my time was up, so I started moving things along." She said, launching into her own explanations, even if he hadn't directly asked about it.

Natasha found herself telling him almost everything, of how she'd talked to a lot of people to get the right leverage before she stopped by Hell's Kitchen to see Matt and work out the details for the deal for Clint and Scott. How the Director of the FBI owed her a favor and how he'd step in to take their cases from the CIA Joint Anti-Terrorism Task Force once Clint and Scott surrendered themselves to the feds, and considering how Ross hadn't followed due process and simply thrown them into the Raft without any rights for a defense attorney or anything else, the feds should have just the right leverage, especially since Ant-Man and Hawkeye were considered heroes in the eyes of most of the public and after the mess they had done in Bucharest and Berlin by going after the wrong guy. She'd also gotten dirt on Ross (mostly about his unsanctioned, illegal human experimentation that had resulted in the Hulk and the Abomination) and was pressuring the DOS to have him removed from the liaison office with the UN and possibly even from the post of Secretary of State, but that part was turning out trickier than she expected ─ she figured he probably had something on someone high up in the government as well, since he'd managed to rise from the ashes of his military career to get that post in the first place.

"After that, Fury and Hill helped me infiltrate the Raft." She finished her explanation, shrugging her shoulders as if that had been nothing and, really, with the amount of undercover assignments she'd done in the past, it hadn't been too complicated. "I knew it was only a matter of time before you went down there to break out everyone so I waited until you showed up."

Steve raised his eyebrows in admiration after hearing everything. "I'm glad you found us."

She gave him a small smile in return. "Me, too." She sat back on the chair and took a sip of the vodka martini she'd fixed herself as she talked about all she'd done.

("You keep all your safe houses stocked for vodka martini?" Steve had raised an eyebrow teasingly at her.

"It's called essentials, Rogers." Natasha had smirked back at him and gone back to fixing her cocktail.)

"So what do you have planned for us now?" Steve asked, leaning back in his chair and looking at her with a smile.

"_That_ I'm leaving up to you." Natasha raised an eyebrow and took another sip of her drink. "By the way, I also cleared things out for Sharon."

He simply stopped and stared at her for a moment, as he had no idea what she meant by that. "What do you mean?"

"Before leaving Germany, I deleted the footage and I switched out the records so that it looks like I am the one who took out your shield and Sam's wings from the evidence vault." Natasha clarified, casually twirling her cocktail glass in her hand.

Once more, Steve could only stare at her. "Why would you do that?"

"I figured I was already out with Ross and I felt bad for using her." She shrugged her shoulders in that easy and careless manner of hers, as if what she'd done had no consequences to her. "When she took your gear out, I followed her and she led me to you, that's how we knew you were at the airport." She paused, thinking of how she'd felt indebted to Sharon, somehow. She'd stood by Steve when Natasha couldn't do so and she was grateful for that. "Besides, I thought it was my duty to protect your girl." She raised an eyebrow and smirked at him then. "I see you finally took my advice to go after her."

Steve could feel himself blushing at that, unable to do anything to stop it. "Ah you saw that?" He gave her an embarrassed smile, resisting the urge to fidget before her intense eyes.

"Yep." She purposefully popped her lips out at the syllable, smirking slyly at him. "Captain America has got _moves_." She wiggled her eyebrows up provocatively then.

She was teasing him now ─ because of course she would tease, when did she not tease him? ─ but Natasha had actually been very shocked when she saw, from a distance, how Steve had brought his hands up to frame Sharon's face and had just kissed her, out of the blue. She didn't know what they had been talking about, so maybe it was just because she was out of context, but she had definitely not expected that development just then. Steve had never given any signs to taking any of her dating suggestions (alright, she'd been downright pushing him to go out with Sharon, really), but she didn't know if anything had happened between them before. They _did_ seem close when they'd all been at the CIA facility in Berlin, so much that she'd picked up that if Steve would ask anyone for help, it would be Sharon.

She was glad Steve was finally showing signs of moving on and attempting to get a life of his own, even if he could have worked on his timing, really. She could honestly not think of anyone more deserving of happiness or even just a little reprieve in life than Steve Rogers. While she may not know what it was like to be a man out of time, she knew vividly what it was to have no place in the world and the thought that Steve may know even a tenth of that desolating feeling made her heart ache. So she was happy for him, and she'd keep reminding herself of that and ignoring the strange twinge she'd felt in the pit of her stomach when she'd seen him kiss Sharon.

"I actually don't know what I was thinking." Steve found himself confessing to this, one hand going up to rub in embarrassment at the back of his neck. "It was so…"

"Terribly timed?" She drawled out and raised an eyebrow at him.

He gave her a rueful smile. "Yes, that." And awkward, Steve thought about that now. Not only because he'd just attended Peggy's funeral and his thoughts and feelings had been frankly all over the place, but thinking that Natasha had actually seen him kiss Sharon felt wrong, somehow. Even if she had been on his case to ask out Sharon for almost two years now. He'd always hesitated to do so, even if he liked Sharon and thought she was attractive.

"Complicated, with you being on the run now and with her working for the law." She commented, before taking a sip of her drink. "But she's already proven she can get past that for you. We could stay close by in Europe, if you wanted to try to work it out with her." She suggested, watching attentively for his reaction to that.

"Nah, I don't think so." He shook his head and gave her a half smile. "It was never gonna work out with us." He thought it was better like this. If they actually tried being together, they'd never know if he was with her because he really liked her or because she was his last link to Peggy.

"Why do you say that?" She frowned a little at him then.

"Just wasn't meant to be, I guess." He gave her a slight shrug of his shoulders along his words. Just like me and Peggy, he thought sadly to himself. "Besides, I need to take care of other things now. Like you and these guys." He gave her a small smile and motioned with his head to the bedrooms where Sam and Wanda were sound asleep.

"You don't need to keep sacrificing your life for us, Steve." She rolled her eyes a little at him. He played the sacrificing hero role too much for her liking, sometimes.

"I'm not." He told her earnestly. "I'm choosing to live my life _with_ you."

Natasha merely blinked her green eyes at this and gave him a small smile as she continued sipping her drink and the two of them started outlining a plan for living on the run.


	15. Who We Are

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: This follows after the last chapter when they're in their early days on the run. If anyone's interested, there's an alternate version of this in the last chapter of Drawing Hope on the Skyline, my birthday fic for Steve Rogers, with a _lot_ more Romanogers.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_15\. Who We Are_

"Okay. Let's go over it one more time." Natasha shifted her stance slightly as she crossed her arms sternly over her chest, her green eyes with a steely glint of determination as she stared down at the man in front of her. The expression on her face was the one the Black Widow had used when she'd wanted to be her most intimidating and even if she no longer wore her signature red hair but was actually a honey blonde at the moment, it still worked.

Sam gulped down nervously. He knew Natasha was his friend and she only had their best interests at heart, but she could still scare the crap out of him and she was well aware of that fact and using it to her advantage. "Okay." He said, his voice even and quiet as he looked steadily up at her. "Like I said, I was getting breakfast ready when she came out of her room and said she needed to go out for a bit."

"What did she look like? Distressed? Under coercion? Being controlled by someone, somehow?" Natasha asked the questions steadily, her eyes narrowing a little.

"No." Sam shook his head, his palms opening and closing a little helplessly. "She looked… _normal_. As normal as she's looked since we got here, to be honest. Like she actually had a good night of sleep, for once."

"What were her exact words?" Natasha asked then.

Sam stopped for a moment as he recalled the moment to his mind. "Hey, Sam. Look I need to go out for a bit. Please tell Natasha and Steve not to worry. I'll be okay." He paused and shrugged his shoulders. "That's it."

"That's it?" One of her eyebrows flickered up. "Nothing else?"

"Well, then I tried to ask her more about it and she wouldn't tell me and I wouldn't let her leave like that, so she knocked me out with one of those red tendrils of hers and presumably just walked out the door," Sam elaborated, rolling his eyes a little at the end.

Natasha furrowed her brow. They'd been going over this for a while now, ever since she and Steve had gotten back from their morning run and found Sam knocked unconscious on the kitchen floor of their cottage and Wanda nowhere in sight, but she still felt there was something Sam wasn't telling her, either because he was afraid to share it with her, because he didn't think it was important or because he genuinely didn't remember it at the moment. It was probably the latter as a side effect of being knocked out by the Scarlet Witch.

"Sam," she said, sitting on the chair opposite him at the kitchen table, stretching her arms forward and placing her hands down on the wooden surface, her voice gentle now as she tried a different approach. "Think about it. What aren't you telling me?"

He furrowed his brow, his eyes moving down to the surface of the table and darting back and forth as he thought about it. "Just before she knocked me out, I think she said she was sorry…" He trailed off, then looked back up at her. "She was sorry, but she had to do this. And that she needed to see him."

Natasha inhaled a breath sharply. "_Him_?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded back at her. "I think she meant Vision." He grimaced almost apologetically then.

"Nat," Steve sighed heavily, removing the hand that had been pinching the bridge of his nose as he let Natasha take lead on this. "Do you have any reason to believe anyone would know where we are?"

She turned sideways on the chair and looked up at him as Steve remained leaning back against the wall, noting how the dark stubble covering his jaw somehow contributed to this graver appearance he'd had since they'd gone on the run and now seemed to match their current mood. They'd only stayed at her safe house outside of Toronto for one night, as Wanda had a nightmare that shook the entire area and they couldn't stay over undetected. After that, Natasha had taken them to a safe house she had on a remote island in Indonesia, seeing as any unwitting tremors caused by the Scarlet Witch wouldn't be too noticeable in that area. They'd been staying there for about a month now, resting and trying to help with her PTSD and to regain control of her powers with limited results so far.

"We're as safe as I could arrange it," she answered him. "But Tony has way better tech than I can afford, and there's no accounting for what Vision can do with that Mind Stone. If anyone can find us, it's them."

"Do you think we should leave?" He asked then, furrowing his brow in concern.

Natasha pursed her lips as she thought about it. She didn't want to put them in unnecessary danger, but they couldn't just leave Wanda behind. She was mad as hell that the younger woman had simply left without giving them any further explanations of where she was going or what she was doing, but she was still her responsibility. They were _all_ her responsibility now.

"Let's give it a couple of days?" Natasha suggested, shrugging her shoulders a little. "If Tony had wanted to find us, he would've come right after the Raft. So far, there's no sign of him, so I'm thinking he's no longer working with Ross, or if he is maybe he's dragging his feet."

As he agreed with her assessment, Steve sighed a little and nodded back at her. He hoped that the words he'd written in that letter had reached Tony. He'd been as obvious as he could without saying the actual words as to what he had been about to do ─ _locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't_. Meaning, he would break into the Raft, and he hoped Tony would let him take their friends out. He knew it was a long shot, but as they made their escape unhindered, he also hoped this could be the first step towards mending his relationship with the genius inventor someday, somehow. Steve promised he'd be there if Tony ever needed him, and he intended to keep that promise.

"Guys, I'm sorry," Sam said then, grimacing along his words. "I shouldn't have let this happen. I was supposed to watch over her."

They had come up with an agreement that there should always be someone with Wanda, in case she had any nightmares or needed anything. Earlier that morning, Sam had opted to stay in and get breakfast ready while Steve and Natasha went out running. He figured they got restless more often, thanks to their super serums, and could use the activity to release the energy more than he did. Besides, he could never quite keep up with Steve while Natasha always fared a lot better in that department.

"Sam, stop." Steve pushed off the wall even as he shook his head at his friend and walked up to him. "This is not your fault. None of us could take on Wanda if she was really determined to get out of here."

"Yeah, I don't know," the black man still protested with a slight frown. "You have that Captain America voice and those speeches, plus she respects the hell out of you. I'm sure you would get her to stay. And Nat can do just about anything, I doubt you'd let her slip away." He said, turning his eyes to her then.

"She didn't slip away, she knocked you out with one of her spells," Natasha said with a rueful smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "I don't have any defense against that either. She kicked my ass in Leipzig, if you don't remember. Stop beating yourself up. This is not on you." She reached out across the table and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. She knew she had been tough on him, but she'd needed to get as much information as possible and resorted to all methods she knew.

They finally sat down to eat breakfast, then Sam had felt too restless once he was done eating and decided to go out on his own to walk around and maybe get in his morning run to burn off the nervous energy, promising to stay close by so they could reach him quickly in case of an emergency. Steve and Natasha sat together and reviewed her security system and their resources, mapping out possible places to go to in case they needed to make a hasty getaway.

After handling his own family issues following his coronation ritual and ceremony, T'Challa had contacted Steve and offered them refuge in his country. They'd been going back and forth on the merits of heading to Wakanda versus the risks. They would definitely be better protected there, so they wouldn't need to keep looking over their shoulders so much and Shuri could possibly have the means to actually help Wanda. But they didn't want to leave Indonesia while Wanda was still unstable, as that could put T'Challa and his people in danger. That had left them in a stalemate of sorts, as Sam had tried using his experience as a counselor at the VA to talk to her about the trauma and Natasha and Steve used whatever tools they had to help as well, but she was still suffering from too many nightmares and occasionally losing control of her powers, so they'd stayed put for now.

As the two of them circled back to the same issues they'd already discussed ad nauseam, they paused in their conversation and Natasha noticed the nervous tapping of Steve's foot, how his muscles were stretched taut under his shirt as his arms were crossed over his chest and the worried frown marring his face. She felt her own build up of nervous energy and frustration that almost compelled her to get up and start uselessly pacing the room just so she'd have something to do. She resisted the urge and sighed audibly, running her hands over her face, her fingers then weaving through her blonde hair as she leaned her elbows on the table.

"Nat," Steve said, looking up in concern and reading her movements. "She's gonna be okay. Wanda knows how to take care of herself and Vision wouldn't hurt her."

"I know that, but that doesn't guarantee she's gonna be okay," she retorted readily, her tone calm but her eyes were sharp as she glanced at him. She leaned back on the chair and looked steadily at him for a few moments as she thought things over before finally speaking up again, the words coming out slowly, almost tentatively. "I think we need to come up with a new plan."

Steve looked steadily back at her as well for a moment. "I'm listening. What are you thinking?"

Natasha wondered how to approach this. They hadn't gotten too far into their planning for life on the run other than laying low and getting as far away as possible from the US or Europe to avoid the authorities that were after them. Once they realized how bad was Wanda's PTSD their focus turned on helping her get better as they ignored everything else, but there were other issues going on that she hadn't ignored. She knew that out of the four of them, Steve was having the hardest time adjusting to their new life as outlaws. And even before Wanda's sudden disappearing act she had been thinking they wouldn't be able to stay as they were for too long.

"Do you know why I didn't try to get you a deal with the FBI?" She asked him then, her voice soft.

He took this apparent non-sequitur in stride, giving her something of a rueful smile. "Well, I assumed it was because I was the leader of this small, superhero rebel group and they wouldn't go easy on me to even get me a deal in the first place."

"Yeah, there's _that_." She flickered an eyebrow up at him and threw him a quick smirk before she continued. "But even with everything that happened, I could've gotten you a deal. A similar one that we got for Clint and Scott, that would require you to be in house arrest wearing an ankle monitor." She paused for a moment as she leaned forward over the table once more. "Even if it were for only a couple of years, I know that would kill you. Not physically, not right away. But slowly, it would kill your spirit and who you are."

"I know what you mean." He nodded solemnly back at her, taking in her words. "And I know that's why you also didn't get that deal for yourself. You'd never sacrifice your freedom like that."

"Exactly." She gave him a small smile back, appreciating how well they knew each other. "Then there's also the fact that you don't deserve to be sitting in jail or in house arrest anywhere. Not back in the US, or in a cottage in Indonesia." She raised an eyebrow at him then.

He narrowed his blue eyes a little at her. "What are you saying, Nat?"

"We could keep laying low." She elaborated, giving him an easy shrug of the shoulders. "I have quite a few safe houses and as you said T'Challa would certainly help us. We could be hidden inside what is apparently one of the best protected countries, basically living a life of luxury. But is that what you _want_? Would you be able to rest while we ignore the rest of the world?"

"For a while, maybe." He lifted an eyebrow and gave her a rueful smile, but after a moment he became serious once more, shaking his head a little. "But no, not really."

She nodded, as if she'd been expecting this answer all along. "Then what do you want to do?"

Steve looked back at her for a moment, thinking of his answer. "I want to help. In any way I can." He said, letting out a heavy sigh before speaking again, as if the words he would say had an actual weight over his figure. "But I'm no longer Captain America. I've lost the right to carry the shield." He shook his head, his blue eyes looking pained at that notion.

"You're not Captain America. You're Steve Rogers and you're a hero by your own right." She told him, green eyes looking fierce as she gazed unwaveringly back at him. He was so much more than the figure of The Captain and The Shield and she would not let him forget that. "Long before the serum, long before the shield, you were standing up to do what's right and putting your life on the line. You just need to follow your heart."

He smiled slightly at her, feeling warmth spreading in his chest at how sure she seemed to be of her words. "Will you stand with me?"

She returned a small, though genuine smile at him. She hoped that after that moment in the hangar in Leipzig he would never doubt her again and that her reassurance now would stay with him. She would follow him anywhere, anyhow, any way. "Always."


	16. Overprotective

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Set between CA:CW and Avengers: Infinity War, when they're running operations to recover enhanced Chitauri/Ultron/SHIELD weapons being sold in the black market while on the run.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_16\. Overprotective_

"Eyes up. Our target just walked in."

"I see him. _Relax_, we got this."

Steve held back a sigh, his jaw tightening up. Only Natasha had that ability to tell him to relax in such a manner that actually made him tense instead. He turned around, leaning sideways against the bar as he brought his glass up, taking a sip from his drink as his sharp blue eyes surreptitiously scanned the room.

They were in a high end hotel bar in Moscow, which was already reason enough to get him tense. Their latest lead as they worked to recover enhanced weapons sold in the black market had taken them into the heart of Russia. When they first traced it, he thought of going to Maria Hill and having her give it to someone else. He knew the former SHIELD agent had a wide network of spies doing covert ops out there; they weren't the only contacts she and Nick Fury had working on these independent, unsanctioned missions. But his hesitation in taking on the mission had only gotten him into an argument with Natasha.

"It's too risky." He had argued, brow furrowed and arms crossed over his chest, when they'd first got the lead and she proposed a tactical plan.

"Oh please." Natasha had promptly rolled her eyes at him. "It'll be an easy target."

"It's in _Russia_." He'd raised an eyebrow pointedly at her. "Someone could recognize you, Nat."

"I'll wear a disguise. I _think_ I know what to do, Steve." She had parried back with a smirk. "I had actually been doing this for a living long before we met, you know."

"I don't like this plan." He'd insisted, shaking his head a little.

"It's the best we got. We'll be in and out before anyone knows it." She had then raised a sardonic eyebrow at him, her tone of voice changing to a slightly mocking and challenging one. "But if you don't like it, we can always go somewhere else. How about Wakanda? Check out what T'Challa has been up to these days? We're due for a vacation, don't you think?"

"That's not fair, Nat." He'd bristled a little at her jab, knowing that had been exactly her goal and unable to stop himself.

"You said you wanted to help. That doing anything we can to help would be worth it." She'd said, crossing her arms and staring him down. "This is what we do."

At that point, Steve knew that continuing to argue with her would only get her mad at him and accusing him of treating her like a damsel in distress, which, admittedly, he sort of was. Rationally he knew she was the best in the business and that she could take care of herself in any situation. But being a leader meant he was constantly assessing the risks and worrying about the safety of his team. He'd always rather put himself on the line, but he also knew Natasha was right and in this case her plan was the best one they got, with actual minimal risks and little chance of it going wrong. However that did not mean he had to like it, especially when it involved the sort of subterfuge that was at play here.

"Loosen up your jaw a little." Her voice came through on the comms then, just a hint of teasing to it. "You're supposed to be unwinding after a long day of work, remember?"

He narrowed his eyes, looking across the room and finding her green ones for just a moment. Her hair was long and dark blonde and she had expertly disguised her most prominent features with make-up, but there was no mistaking those eyes. She wiggled her eyebrows up at him then turned back to the task at hand, a seductive smile taking over her lips. Even wearing ridiculously high stiletto heels, she weaved in easily and gracefully through the tables and people spread around the saloon, the strapless dress she wore hugging her torso, the skirt of the dress flowing loosely around her legs and painting an alluring picture for those around her. Wanda followed closely behind her, dressed similarly in a dark cocktail dress, the thin shoulder straps contrasting against the paleness of the skin of her exposed collarbone. Steve felt a surge of protectiveness for both women as he noticed several hungry, dangerous eyes following their movements, but he pushed it down and stayed put as they went to work.

Their target was a middleman responsible for coordinating the deal between a local drug lord who was about to acquire enhanced weapons through his illegal connections in the black market. The deal was scheduled for the next day and the team needed to get confirmation on the current location of the weapons or where the meeting was supposed to take place, as they hadn't managed to find that information so far as all parties involved seemed especially paranoid and were taking extra caution. But as all men, their target had his weaknesses, which was why Natasha and Wanda were here posing as high end escorts, easily charming their way into his table. Steve was standing by as back-up, if needed, while Sam was outside taking care of the perimeter and their getaway routes.

The communication channels were open and Steve could hear how the conversation flowed easily in Russian. He'd learned the language back in WWII enough to carry on a simple conversation and Natasha had been helping him brush up on it between missions, so he got the gist of what they were talking about even as his focus was on surveying the main saloon. There was some back and forth as the party enjoyed their drinks, but it wasn't long before their target, Natasha and Wanda got up and headed upstairs to one of the suites.

"You must be big, important man to have such guards?" He heard Natasha murmur in Russian as they seemed to get into the private room, her way of letting him know there was security stationed at the door. The man laughed out an unimportant reply, as Steve took that information and thought about it. Strange, as a middleman wouldn't usually be so heavily guarded.

The super soldier noted out of the corner of his eye how a second party got up from one of the adjacent tables and followed out after a minute, also taking the elevator up. "Sam, we got some movement down here," he said, pressing a finger to his comm as he walked out into the lobby, watching as the elevator doors closed.

"I hear you, already scanning them," Sam replied right away through their secured channel. "They're headed for the suite. They're packing and seem to be our man's entourage. I don't like this, Steve."

"Yeah, I'm on my way up," he said, pressing the button calling for another elevator. "Be ready for extraction in five."

"Roger that."

He was on the elevator nearly to the right floor when he heard their target get impatient and try to get down to business with the ladies, making Steve's jaw tense up once more.

"Hands off!" He heard Wanda exclaim in Russian then a sound like a body crumpling to the ground.

"Nat? Wanda?" Steve asked, pressing on his comm.

"We're fine," Natasha replied right away unconcernedly. "Our man was getting too handsy and Wanda just put him to sleep. Did you at least get the intel we needed before you knocked him out?"

"Yes, he actually has the weapons here in this room," Wanda said, sounding a little breathless.

Suddenly there was some shouting in the room and he heard Natasha curse softly. Just as the elevator doors opened into the floor, Steve heard what seemed like a fight breaking out. "Nat?" He asked, aiming a punch at the man standing guard by the elevators and knocking him down, quickly turning around and kicking the gun out of the second man before he could shoot at him, then throwing him down on the floor and punching him out.

"We got company," Natasha grunted in reply accompanied by the sounds of a scuffle.

"We're handling it," Wanda chimed in.

Steve ran out into the hallway and engaged the guards standing by the door that led into the room in combat, throwing out his punches and kicks with precision to quickly incapacitate then knock them out. As he kicked in and cleared the door off its hinges, he stepped into the living room of the suite and surveyed the scene, noting how half a dozen men lay spread out unconscious on the floor around Natasha and Wanda.

"You okay?" He asked with a concerned frown as he stepped up to them.

"We're fine," Natasha assured him, raising an eyebrow at him as she looked down at the smashed door on the floor. "A little too much, don't you think?"

"I thought you could use the back-up," Steve offered with a nonchalant shrug, relaxing a little now that he saw the immediate threat had been neutralized.

"We said we were handling it," she drawled out, crossing her arms over her chest and staring back at him.

"You can debrief me on my directive later," he countered with a raised eyebrow, half-sarcastic, half-serious as he felt she was working up to a real argument with him. "Right now let's just find those weapons and get out of here."

"They were in the next room," Wanda said, levitating with her powers a couple of cases and a wooden crate she'd already located through the door into the bedroom. "Not so much the middleman as the merchant himself, apparently. We're good to go."

"Right," Steve nodded back at her. "Sam, pick us up."

"Already on it, look outside," came the swift reply in his ear, then he added with some humor. "On your left."

He looked out and hovering right next to the balcony their Quinjet suddenly materialized before their eyes, as Sam removed the cloaking device. The three of them quickly walked out and into the jet, checking on the weapons and stashing them away as they headed for the drop-out location.

"The nearest secured POC is in Paris," Sam called out, looking over his shoulder from the pilot seat and Steve nodded in affirmation at him. Back in stealth mode, the Quinjet headed out under the cover of night west towards the City of Lights.

"Are you alright?" Steve asked gently as he put a hand on Wanda's shoulder and sat down next to her. He had noticed that despite her words she'd been a little rattled back in the hotel suite and he wanted to make sure she was okay.

"Yeah," she smiled a little back at him, then furrowed her brow in thought. "I'm sorry I blew our cover. I just couldn't take that guy pawing at us like that anymore."

Steve inhaled a breath sharply at hearing that. He really hated putting them in that situation in the first place. He knew it was a risk they'd both accepted willingly, but it couldn't be easy on Wanda especially considering her past traumas of being manhandled during her stay at the Raft. He would also never understand why some men thought they could just treat women like that.

"You did nothing wrong," he assured her in a serious tone. "You got the intel, we recovered the weapons and no one got hurt, so it was a job well done. Besides, the situation was heading south, I was on my way up to get you out anyway."

Wanda smiled back at him and seemed to hesitate for a moment before she talked again. "So I know it wasn't on the schedule, but do you think after we drop the weapons I could take a few days?" She asked him then bit her lip before adding, "I feel like I really need to see Vision."

"Yeah, of course." He smiled at her. They'd been running back to back missions for a while now, so it had been some time since she'd gotten out to see the android per the arrangement they had come up with once Vision had helped her get back in control of her powers and they'd started seeing each other. "We could all probably take a few days' rest. Talk to Vision and coordinate the drop-off with Sam."

"Thank you, Steve." She gave him a bright smile, then she got up and headed for the cockpit to talk to their pilot.

The super soldier then got up and went to the back looking for his partner. He found Natasha had removed the hair extensions and the make-up, so she was back to her regular features and the new shoulder length dark blonde hair that she'd been sporting for the past couple of weeks. She'd been constantly changing her hair since they'd gone on the run but she always avoided shades of red and Steve found himself strangely missing it these days.

"Looks like we might get that vacation after all." He said in a light tone as he approached her, but got no response as she continued going through the items in her bag. He knew there was no point avoiding it, so he just heaved a sigh and sat down before her. "Alright, let's have it."

Natasha didn't waste any time as she remained standing and looked sharply down at him. "Seriously, you're okay with boosting me up to catch a ride on an alien airship but you're nervous when I get alone with a man in a room?" She countered at once, as if they'd hit pause on their previous conversation and they were now getting back to it, as she crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. "When _I'm_ the one who actually knows 17 different ways to incapacitate or kill someone without any weapons?"

"17, really?" He raised an amused eyebrow at her. "I can think of 9, maybe."

"Obviously you lack imagination." She parried back with a smirk. "And stop trying to distract me." She paused, her smirk melting away as she grew serious once more. "Look, I can literally take on guys twice my size with my hands tied behind my back, and Wanda can move things _with her mind_. You need to trust us when we're out there."

"I _do_ trust you, you know that." He raised his eyebrows then, looking earnestly back at her. "It's those guys twice your size that I don't and I'm not gonna apologize for looking out for you, Nat. It's my _job_. I'm the one who got us into this and I'm gonna make damn sure we all get out of it alive and unharmed."

"I get that, I do, and I appreciate it." She told him sincerely, a frown forming between her eyebrows. "But you have got to stop treating me like some damsel in distress."

"That's not what I─" He protested, then interrupted himself and shook his head a little to get back on track, as he knew that denying what he'd done would only get them suckered into a useless argument. "Nat, those guys weren't there because you blew your cover and got the target down. They were there for _you_." His blue eyes were blazing in anger as he thought back to the moment he realized what was happening, that their sleazeball target had thought hiring a couple of escorts gave him the right to share them with his buddies, whether the women had agreed to it or not.

"I know that." She told him, her voice low and a steely glint in her green eyes that let him know she _did_ understand exactly the situation they'd been in. "And we handled them just fine."

Steve could only stare back at her for a few moments. "Look, this is not about you or your abilities. It's about me." He told her softly then, leaning his head back against the wall and looking up at her. "I can't see a threat heading your way and do nothing about it, especially if I'm the one that's watching your back. This is what I do and you know that, so I'm gonna look out for you whether you like it or not."

Natasha kept on looking at him, her expression softening a little as she thought about what he'd said. "Okay. I understand that." She nodded back at him, then sat down next to him. "Now I need you to listen to me and understand what _I'm_ saying." She looked pointedly back at him and he nodded at her to go on. "If we tell you we're okay, you need to trust us otherwise one of us might get hurt during one of these missions." She paused then, struggling to make him understand what she was telling him and some sense of vulnerability seeped into her voice with her next words. "We're all we've got, there's no backup here. We need to be smart, efficient and precise. We can't go barrelling through doors without talking to each other or something may go wrong and the next mission could be our last."

He stared back at her, slowly nodding as he got what she was saying. "Okay. You're right." He sighed and gave her a small, conceding smile. "No more knight in shining armor acts or punching doors off hinges unnecessarily."

"That's all I'm asking," she said, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "And thanks, Steve."

"You're welcome." He smiled back at her, then grew serious once more. "And I'm sorry. You know I'd never doubt you or your abilities. I don't ever see you as a damsel in distress and I don't want you to think that. It's just…" He shook his head, looking out for a moment before he brought his eyes back to hers. "You're my partner. And I can't help wanting to protect you." He gave her a rather helpless shrug and another small smile. "You, Sam, Wanda. You're all I got, now."

She swallowed hard, her eyes shining brightly for a moment. "I know." She nodded at him then gave him a small smile of her own. "Just remember, you're all I got, too."

Steve felt a mix of pain and warmth spreading across his chest as her words sunk in, then he reached down for her hand and gripped it tightly in his for a moment, reveling in the feeling as she gripped his back just as tightly.


	17. Past Mistakes

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Set during A:IW, between the scenes at the compound and Wakanda. This does touch once more on Brutasha, but mostly as some closure I thought lacking in both IW and Endgame following their abrupt departure in AoU and reunion in IW aside from the "this is awkward" scene.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_17\. Past Mistakes_

Natasha could feel it in her bones, how this was going to be one of those days that would shatter the quiet and irrevocably change their lives. Not that there had been a lot of quiet as she'd been on the run going on covert, unsanctioned missions all over the world with Steve, Sam and Wanda ─ or the Secret Avengers, as Sam had liked to call them. But quiet or not, they had established some sort of routine for the past two years. Then suddenly Steve's burner phone was ringing and _Bruce_, of all people, had been on the other end, talking about how New York had been attacked, Tony was gone in a spaceship along a wizard with the Time Stone (whatever _that_ was all about) and that Vision was in danger.

Luckily they'd managed to find the android and Wanda in time. Even if it were in the worst possible circumstances, she was glad to be back at the Avengers compound and that Bruce was back. She'd been so relieved at seeing him. For years she'd felt guilty that she'd caused him to go away. She already had to deal with all the guilt of breaking up their current team with the Sokovia Accords and their in-fighting in Germany. With him back Natasha thought they'd have a fighting chance against this Thanos. But then Bruce had said he was unable to turn into the Hulk and the guilt had come crashing through her once more, along with the awkwardness of the whole situation.

As Steve talked to T'Challa about going to Wakanda for help, the rest of them were gathering what they needed from the compound. As they trailed back to the Quinjet, Bruce pulled gently on her arm and asked her for a moment. She didn't want to do this right then (preferably never, actually), but she thought he was right and they needed to clear the air if they were going to be fighting side by side once more.

"Nat." Bruce started, grimacing a little as he stood before her. "I wanted to apologize…"

She raised a hand and interrupted him. "You don't need to." She did _not_ need him to do this right now. She'd been prepared to give him an apology, not to hear one from him. Time had given her perspective and she realized how foolish she'd been by pushing a relationship on the two of them when they had needed to concentrate on more important matters back then. In the end they'd only hurt each other and the team had lost an important ally in their fights. She couldn't help but wonder if Bruce would have made a difference when they had been going through the Sokovia Accords. Maybe he would've been able to get through to Tony and Steve in a way that she hadn't and they wouldn't be in this mess right now, uncoordinated and with Tony missing in space.

"But I want to." He raised his eyebrows earnestly at her. "What I did wasn't… I didn't mean to leave just like that." He grimaced once more before he continued. "I know it's no excuse, but I was actually trapped inside the Hulk for two years until Thor found me on this planet, it was crazy! We're not even sure how I got there."

"That was all my fault." She interrupted him once more with a raised hand, shaking her head a little. "I was the one who turned on you to transform you into the Hulk. So I like I said, you don't need to apologize. I'm the one who owe you an apology for what I pulled in Sokovia." She finished with a rather dry smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

"Are you kidding me?" His eyebrows shot up once more in his forehead as he stared back at her, his voice pitched higher than normal. "The sky was falling down on us! You made the right call."

"You didn't want to get into that fight." Natasha insisted, shaking her head at him. "You wanted to leave and I couldn't do that."

"I get it. I do, Nat." Bruce said softly, trying hard to get her to understand that he honestly thought she'd done the right thing. "From what Thor told me, we managed to save a lot of people that day and even prevent an extinction level event. You did good." He smiled at her then sighed a little as he explained himself. "I was afraid of how the Other Guy would behave around civilians after what happened in South Africa, but you knew better. We're Avengers and we had a job to do and, as always, you pushed me to do it. So you don't need to apologize, either."

He gave her a smile and she returned him a small one. Now that they'd actually talked about it, Natasha felt glad. She cared for Bruce and it was good to hear he didn't fault her for her actions back in Sokovia. It was also nice to know he hadn't meant to leave her just like that. It had been one of those impossible situations and they'd done what they could. The past was in the past and it was time to move on and try to save their future.

"So…" Bruce said, the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth as he put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head a little. "You and Steve, huh?"

For a moment Natasha could only stare back at him. How had they gotten from apologizing for what they'd done to each other three years ago to _this_? "We're partners." She merely said (somewhat defensively, she'd admit), crossing her arms over her chest and one eyebrow flickering up at him.

He gave her a rueful smile in response to that, as if he wouldn't just accept that answer. "Rhodey told me what happened, how you two took on training the new team, then everything with the Accords, Barnes and the fight in Germany." He paused and kept looking at her, his voice going softer when he continued. "How you let him go and you've been on the run together for the past two years, still fighting the good fight."

"Yeah." Once more, that was all she said, giving him a tiny nod in confirmation.

"Nat." Bruce said, raising his eyebrows at her, something in his tone of voice reminiscent of when Clint was trying to tell her he thought she was being stupid without any actual words. "You two are good for each other. I always thought that."

"Are we seriously having this conversation?" She raised an eyebrow at him, as she could not believe _Bruce_ was talking to her about _Steve_ right now. "We're in the middle of a war." She added, lest he forget the seriousness of their situation.

"There's always gonna be a fight. We're Avengers." Bruce countered with an easy shrug, soft smile on his lips. "Like he told me years ago, you two also deserve a win."

"Let's just concentrate on winning this war and keeping everyone safe." She gave him a rueful smile then and resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him, as she gestured with her head for the two of them to go after the others and get onto the Quinjet.

As the team gathered everything they needed and boarded the jet, Steve confirmed T'Challa would assist them and they were soon headed for Wakanda. As she stood at the back of the jet checking on the equipment they had stored there, Natasha heard Steve approaching her.

"So." He said, leaning back against the wall as he looked at her, that seemingly perpetual concerned, gravely look in his blue eyes. "How are you doing?"

"Okay, all things considered." She said, bobbing her head a little from side to side. She knew he'd seen her talking to Bruce and that he was now checking on her. "We talked. He said he's sorry, I said I'm sorry." She gave him a shrug of the shoulders. "We're moving on."

Steve raised his eyebrows at her. "Forgive and forget?"

"I think that's the idea." She confirmed as she slowly nodded her head at him.

"I know it's not the best moment, but…" He trailed off for a moment, before he added with a casual shrug of his own. "You two could try again."

Once more, Natasha could only stare back at him. What was with these men, talking about _relationships_ when they had bigger things like the fate of the universe in their hands? "_Really_ not the best moment. Besides, I think that moment has long passed." She said, shaking her head a little.

"Hum." He murmured then raised both eyebrows at her once more. "Speaking of people suddenly coming back from the past, we're about to see Bucky again." He paused then added in a gentle tone, as if wanting to soften some blow. "He told me he remembers you, too, from your time in the Red Room."

"Oh _God_." This time, she did roll her eyes, before she muttered mostly to herself. "This just keeps getting better and better."

Suddenly and most unexpectedly Steve gave her a rather cheeky grin. "Want me to call in Murdock? We could host a Black Widow's past boyfriends meeting or something."

Natasha stared back at him, not only because it had been so long since she'd seen him smiling like that but for the actual words he'd said, as she'd never told him the details of her past relationship with Matt. "I'm gonna kill Clint." She breathed out in response after a moment.

"He's not the one who told me." He countered, a light chuckle in his voice.

She furrowed the space between her eyebrows at that. "Who, then?"

"Wanda." He said easily, one eyebrow flickering up.

"_Wanda_?" She exclaimed, her green eyes immediately tracking the younger woman, who was sitting by Vision on the other side of the jet. The redheaded Scarlet Witch looked up sharply at her, as if she'd heard her and smiled apologetically, like she knew what they were talking about.

"She accidentally read your mind back when we were dropping off Clint and Scott in New York after the Raft." Steve hastened to explain, raising his hands placatingly. "She felt very disturbed to be invading your privacy. I didn't tell you then, because she felt so bad about it."

Natasha narrowed her eyes at Wanda, then turned back to look up at Steve. "Well, if that's the case, then I guess I'll refrain from maiming her."

"Why didn't you want to tell us about Murdock?" Her asked her softly then, curiosity lilting his voice.

She couldn't help the grimace on her face as she avoided his eyes then. "My past isn't pretty, Steve. And Matt and I…" Natasha sighed deeply, wondering mentally the best way to summarize _that_ relationship. "We were in a tangled mess during an assignment I had in San Francisco where I first met him and his vigilante alter-ego, Daredevil. He helped me with the case and I helped him fight a few bad guys in the area, but the personal aspects of the relationship got… complicated."

Natasha knew that was one hell of an oversimplification, but she really didn't want to get into the details of how she and Matt had gotten together. Even if SHIELD didn't force her to actually take targets to bed, like the KGB had done, old habits die hard and all of that, and she'd found it incredibly easy to weave herself (as Natalie Rushman) into the handsome law firm intern's life in order to gain access to the case he was working on and get the intel she'd needed. By the time she had actually started to care for him, he was onto who she really was and she'd also seen him in action as Daredevil, then there was that mess with his ex-girlfriend, who had been so jealous of her that she'd been attacked ─ another sour point about that whole thing, as the Black Widow did not like to remember the fact that she'd been compromised and caught by surprise to the point that she'd been stabbed in the back.

By the time her assignment was done and his internship was over, they'd decided to call it quits, almost as if what they'd lived had been one of those crazy summer romances ─ with a side of espionage, alter-egos and crime-fighting, of course. At least they'd managed to part on good terms, so much that Matt had been willing to help her with Clint and Scott's cases with the FBI.

"I didn't know you did personal." Steve said then in a non-committal tone.

"That's why I don't anymore." She raised an eyebrow back at him. "He and Bruce were enough to tell me I'm better off focusing on the job." She shook her head a little before continuing. "I don't know if I'd ever be able to put one person above the mission, and I'm not sure that's a good mindset to have in a relationship."

"Unless you find someone who thinks just like you." He said, giving her a small smile.

"Clint is about the closest I found so far." She replied, also with a hint of a smile on her lips.

And you, Natasha thought to herself, but she wasn't about to tell that to Steve. She wouldn't lie, she _had_ thought about the two of them over the years, especially when they'd gone on the run together. It had created a closeness between them, something that had already started first when they had partnered up at SHIELD, then leading together the new Avengers team. They worked in synch and could read each other with such ease these days. She didn't have to think far to see why Bruce had thought they'd been together. But maybe the fact that there never happened anything between them was the reason they had managed to remain partners and work together for so long and she didn't want to risk that by getting romantically entangled with him now. All her previous experiences pointed to things never quite working out and she'd rather have him as her friend and partner than risk losing him somehow.

Steve raised a curious eyebrow at her. "You and Clint never…?"

"No, it was never like that with us." She gave him a smile then. Natasha knew he'd wondered about it back when they'd worked at SHIELD, had even commented on it when they'd been on the run from SHIELD-cum-HYDRA. Now that she had a stronger bond with Steve, she found herself opening up and talking more about her relationship with Clint. "When we met Laura was actually pregnant with Lila. He'd been sent to kill me and he could've just followed orders, shot an arrow at me from afar and be done with it. Instead, he took a huge risk getting close to me to give me a chance to defect. He could've died because he believed in me, even though he didn't know me." She explained, then shook her head a little as she thought back on those days. "You know, I never really understood what made him do that."

"C'mon, Nat. I read the files." Steve said, eyebrows raised pointedly at her. "He saw you had a good heart, how you were going out on your own to take down human trafficking rings. Even with everything the Red Room and the KGB did, you weren't what they made you to be."

"My body count would be a huge argument against that." Natasha commented in a dry and self-deprecating tone.

"You act like you're the only one who's killed people." He shook his head at her then. "I have. Would call me an assassin then?"

"No, but it's different." She replied readily, rolling her eyes a little at him. Only Steve would make such a simplification and equate their situations like that.

"It isn't. Each one of us here on this Quinjet," he said, gesturing with a hand at their friends scattered around the jet. "We all have killed people. It's the nasty part of war and what we have to do in order to protect the world from those set out to hurt innocent people."

"Yeah, but the majority of people I've killed wasn't for the greater good or during a war effort." She insisted, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against the wall next to him. "They weren't just soldiers. There were men, women, children…" She shuddered at the last word, closing her eyes tightly for a moment before she looked back at him. "And it was actually carried out in the dark for the bad guys or for the highest bidder, without taking into account the morality of anything."

"You weren't free to do otherwise." He insisted back, shaking his head at her once more. "And when you did start to break from those shackles, you were setting out to do what you could to stop the injustice and correct the wrongs. Like those trust funds you set up."

"How do you know about that?" She asked in surprise, her green eyes widening a little. She'd taken most of the money she'd earned by working as a contractor on freelance jobs when she'd been with the KGB and set it aside for the families of her victims, one more effort to wipe the red off her ledger.

"Fury told me about them, back when I joined SHIELD and we started working together. Give yourself more credit, Nat." He reached out and placed a hand comfortingly on her arm. "No one sees you as a mere assassin but you. We all see you for who you truly are."

"Which is what?" She asked, her voice softer now. Natasha knew what he was getting at, but she asked the question because a part of her wouldn't really believe it until she heard the actual words; maybe not even then.

"A hero." Steve nodded at her, his blue eyes shining with warmth for her.


	18. Broken Souls

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Starting right at the end of A:IW. Time to deal with the Decimation.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_18\. Broken Souls_

"Oh God…"

The words got dragged out of Steve's throat, his figure sagging almost with the weight of the world ─ no, the weight of the _universe_ on his shoulders as he sat next to Vision's broken, lifeless body. He still couldn't believe it. How Bucky had called out his name, spoken like a bad omen in the sudden, unnatural stillness of the Wakandan forest. How his friend's entire form had simply, _impossibly_ _yet irrevocably_ turned into dust, crumpling down to the forest ground like something out of his worst nightmares. Steve had then turned and looked at Wanda, as she'd been crying over her lover's body, the tears still running down her face as it turned into ash and got swept in the wind. He noticed the same thing happening to that walking tree creature that Thor had introduced to him just a few minutes before in the battlefield. He had heard Okoye's desperate cries for her king, Rhodey's voice calling for Sam then asking what had happened.

They'd lost and the consequences were already upon them, so much worse than he could've ever imagined.

Everyone seemed frozen in place, not quite knowing what to do. Then the momentary spell was almost broken as he heard a soft thud next to him. "Steve," he heard his name said in a shaky, choked out whisper and he turned around to find Natasha collapsed on the floor. For one wild moment he could feel his heart stopping as he thought she was about to turn into dust and vanish before his eyes, but she remained there next to him, her back against a tree, one hand on her stomach and the other shaking against her lips. "I can't ─ I can't breathe…" She said in between gasped attempts to suck in air to her oxygen-deprived lungs as she'd started to hyperventilate, her green eyes wide and silent tears coursing down her face. "I'm not ─ I'm gonna be sick…"

He scrambled to his knees and slid closer to her, his arms reaching out to support her frame as she leaned over and dry heaved on the forest floor, nothing but bile coming past her lips. He felt as sick as she was, but there was nothing in their stomachs to come up. They hadn't eaten since dinner last night. Or was it that morning? They'd been through so many time zones in the last 24 hours that he wasn't sure anymore, but he remembered their last real meal had been right before they'd set out to find Vision and Wanda in Edinburgh.

"It's okay, Nat." He said hoarsely, rubbing soothing circles on her back as she just gasped, choked and cried, her whole figure shaking like a leaf in his arms. "Just try to breathe. I'm here. I got you."

Natasha's sudden collapse had taken the others out of the stupor they'd been falling in just moments before. Rhodey reached out to Okoye, who had walked on shaky legs over to them. As Rhodey talked to the Wakandan General about rallying the troops and tending to the injured, Bruce tried engaging Thor, calling his attention to Thanos's forces that were still active and that needed to be stopped. The God of Thunder's face was grim with determination as he set off flying with his new axe, lightning crackling in his eyes and a promise to swiftly deal with any enemy that was still standing in his way. As Rhodey, Bruce and the talking racoon trudged back towards the battlefield, Okoye seemed to recover herself for a moment as she stepped up to Steve, who was still holding a trembling, gasping Natasha.

"Take her to the palace," the General said gently as she put a hand on his shoulder. "The medical team will see to her. We'll rally the troops and return shortly as well."

The super soldier nodded back at her, a pained look in his eyes. "T'Challa…?"

Okoye's face almost seemed to collapse in on itself before she took a deep breath and somehow kept the tears from falling and gathered a semblance of control again. She didn't trust her voice though, so she only shook her head quickly back at him.

Steve grimaced, swallowed his own grief for the moment and nodded in understanding. As the General walked out after the others, it was just Steve and Natasha sitting on the floor of the eerily silent, luscious Wakandan forest. He took a few deep, steadying breaths of his own as she seemed to recover a normal breathing rate then he pulled them both up to their feet, one arm supporting her frame against him. As her legs were still shaking so much when she tried to stand up on her own, Steve put his other arm under her knees and easily picked her up in his arms despite her feeble protests and he started back towards the palace. For a moment it looked like Natasha was going to continue protesting, but then she just sighed, closed her eyes and leaned her cheek against his chest, losing consciousness and her whole figure sagging in his arms. Seeing this, Steve held her securely against him and hurried back.

The staff at the palace were in a state of panic, as so many people had simply vanished before their eyes and reports kept coming in from all over the place, from the capital city all the way over to their borders. Still, the medical team seemed to recover rather quickly and knew Steve was the King's trusted friend, so they rushed to help them. He was relieved to hear Natasha would be fully recovered in a short while. She'd suffered internal damage from the battle and the combination of internal bleeding, hyperventilation and general dehydration had put a strain on her body before it could heal itself, as it normally would thanks to her super serum, and induced a state of hypovolemic shock, so they gave her fluids and rushed her into surgery.

Hours later, night had fallen when Natasha woke up in a king size bed in one of the palace's guest rooms. Steve had been sitting in a chair beside her, arms crossed over his chest and his feet resting next to her on the bed. He had dozed off sometime before, but he quickly came to as he heard her stirring up. He smiled in relief as he saw her eyes looking back at him and he helped her up to a sitting position against the pillows.

"What happened?" She asked him then with a frown, still getting situated with her new surroundings.

"You went into shock and they rushed you into surgery," he answered at once, a soft look in his eyes as he looked attentively back at her, as if making sure she was really there with him, contrasting against the casual way he then enumerated her many injuries. "You had a nick in your mesenteric artery, a lacerated liver and your spleen was almost shredded to a pulp, but somehow they salvaged it. Oh you also had a couple of broken ribs, but they're mended now."

She merely raised an eyebrow at his words then felt under the hospital gown around her ribs with nimble fingers and checked for marks from the surgery. Natasha had known that Wakandan medicine was way more advanced than the world thought, but this was her first time experiencing a treatment first hand. She was surprised to find no stitch marks or soreness anywhere and that it had only been a couple of hours since she'd been out of surgery.

"What's the word out there?" She asked then, a grim look taking over her face as she already feared what his answer would be.

"It's… not good, Nat." Steve sighed deeply before he continued, leaning his elbows on his knees as he told her all they'd managed to find out so far. "People have simply disappeared in the blink of an eye all over the world, so there have been a lot of accidents and near catastrophes reported in. There's a general sense of panic as most governments are still trying to assess all the damage and organize themselves. Communications are down in some parts of the world, but since Wakanda lived fairly isolated and weren't dependent on others, they got their systems back up quickly enough."

He then told her how the President of the US had survived and that Rhodey was in contact with his team to organize their return back stateside. Secretary Ross had been one of those vanished with the snap of Thanos's fingers, so someone else was being appointed to liaise the DOS with the UN and other foreign agencies, but given what had happened the President himself deemed this a matter of utmost urgency.

"It looks like we might get a full pardon," he told her with a rueful smile and a sardonic, flickering eyebrow. "With everything that's happened, Rhodey says the US just wants to make some show of unity and strength, so nothing better than having the 'mighty Avengers' or whatever's left of us back by their side now." He said, his last words sounding off more bitter than he'd wanted.

She just nodded back at him, still frowning in thought at everything he told her. "Steve," she said, something in her tone of voice conveying the panic that was building up inside of her once more. "Where's your phone? I need to call Clint."

"I already did, as soon as they got you into surgery," he said, grimacing a little. "I talked to him, but…" He trailed off, not knowing what to say, though the look in his blue eyes was enough to let her know what he was trying to tell her.

"Laura? The kids?" She asked him in a whisper, her lips trembling as she felt tears gathering in her eyes once more.

He only shook his head back at her, the pained look in her eyes seeming to cut through his very soul then. "I told him what happened and that we weren't giving up, that we'll find a way to fix this," he said, his voice growing a little stronger with his words then. "But I don't think I got through to him." It had been one of the worst phone calls he'd ever had in his life. Steve had still been reeling, feeling torn between relief that Natasha would be okay and absolutely devastated about everyone else. Then hearing about Clint's family had been another blow. He'd tried to give some measure of comfort to his friend, but he could hear in Clint's voice how something had just seemed to break inside of him and how he didn't really believe him.

Natasha looked up and blinked her eyes a few times, keeping the tears at bay and trying to process everything. Clint and Laura had been her family ever since she'd defected the KGB and had joined SHIELD and tried to straighten out her life. She owed them both so much, Clint for giving her a second chance at a life she wasn't even sure that she'd deserved, and Laura for welcoming her with open arms from the second they'd met, only based on her husband's word. She loved them both and their kids so much. Now this situation was just unimaginable. Not even her worst nightmares ─ and Natasha Romanoff knew something about living nightmares ─ had come close to _this_.

She shook her head to herself for a moment, took a deep breath in, then focused back on Steve's face. "Okay. What about Fury and Hill?"

"No response," he told her softly. "I'm gathering what I can from the old contacts. I just got word that their vehicle was found abandoned on a road in Dallas. Any idea what they were doing there?"

"No," she shook her head, frowning her eyebrows in thought, a new sense of urgency fueling her on, her body suddenly buzzing with nervous energy. "We need to go there. We need to go back to the compound, assess all the damage ourselves and start working on tracking Thanos, _now_." She pulled the covers and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Okay, easy there." Steve protested, holding one hand out as he frowned back at her. "You just had surgery."

"I feel fine and I can't stay sitting here anymore," she ignored him and got up to her feet, unmindful of the hospital gown draped loosely over her figure and she started walking aimlessly around the room, looking for her clothes or something else that she could wear so that they could get out of there as fast as possible.

"We're not cleared to go back yet," Steve said, also getting up to his feet and following a few steps behind her. "They're rushing the process, but there's still some red tape to go through and there are other things going on."

The team had also been assisting the Wakandans in whatever way they could, given that both T'Challa and Shuri had vanished away, and the Five Tribes Council had an emergency meeting and agreed that the smoothest action would be to keep the Crown with Queen Ramonda as she'd been more involved with running the country, so now she needed to take on that enormous responsibility in addition to dealing with their collective and her personal sudden loss. M'Baku had agreed to take on the mantle of Black Panther and help her as well by protecting their country.

"Then where the hell is Rhodey?" Natasha countered quickly, not leaving him room to finish his explanations as she found a walk-in closet and proceeded to yank open drawers and wardrobe doors at random, as if hoping any of them would contain her battlesuit and weapons. "If the President is prepared to issue a full pardon, then it shouldn't be this hard."

Steve still followed her and grew frustrated as she didn't want to hear what he had to say. "Goddamn it, Nat! Will you listen to me for once?" He exclaimed suddenly, almost reaching out to grab her by the shoulders as if wanting to shake some sense into her, but at the last moment running a hand haphazardly through his hair instead. "You almost _died_!"

"_Everyone_ died, Steve!" She rounded back on him and exclaimed in turn. For a moment they just stood there staring at each other, her eyes once more swimming in tears as she breathed heavily and he was frozen in his spot, feeling as if her eyes were burning through him at the same time. "You said we would find a way to fix this. Right?" She said, her voice coming out more evenly now, but just as intensely.

He swallowed hard before nodding resolutely back at her. "Right."

She mirrored his actions, nodding once back at him, a steely glint visible in her green eyes. "Then we need to go."

For another moment, Steve could only look at her, a distant part of his brain marveling at the fact that she was standing there in front of him, looking so much alive with this new resolve, this new fire that was fueling her on. He couldn't help but think back to that one moment he'd thought she would be gone as well and feel extremely grateful that she was still there, keeping him grounded and keeping them moving forward.

"Alright," he nodded firmly back at her. "I'll gather the team."


	19. Old Friends

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Hey, guys! I'm sorry for taking so long, I promise I haven't abandoned this story. I just had a couple of rough months handling my depression that took away my energy for just about anything remotely fun. I've adjusted my meds, am working hard at therapy and got back to exercising as well, so things are looking up and I'm back to writing now. :)

Anyway, starting at the post-credit scene of Captain Marvel and some moments just before the beginning of Avengers: Endgame. I'm filling in some blanks and developing some dynamics between Nat and some of the other women in the MCU.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_19\. Old Friends_

If she were honest, hope wasn't something that came naturally to Natasha. She'd always been much more pragmatic and a realist, seeing how things worked in infinite shades of grey, taking the world as it was, not as they wished it were, which was why she and Nick Fury had easily bonded and worked together so well for many years. Life had treated her way more harshly than kindly, so such things as unbridled optimism and hope wasn't for someone as jaded as her. It was for idealists, for heroes, for people like Steve. Yet after partnering up for many years and with their recent stretch going on the run together they'd learned a few things from each other and she found herself keeping that glimmer of hope until they'd exhausted all possibilities. He'd said they would find a way to fix things and she had no other choice but to believe him.

If anyone could make the impossible possible, it was probably Steve Rogers anyway.

Rhodey had negotiated with the President their speedy return stateside and they'd all pushed on despite their collective grief to get things done. Following the battle in Wakanda, Thor and the enhanced, talking raccoon Rocket checked back on Nidavellir and Eitri, who had forged Thor's new hammer. While checking on the pod that had taken them there, Rocket found a recorded message from Quill's ship saying they'd gone over to Titan, Thanos's home planet, following a lead from Nebula, where they had run into Tony, Doctor Stephen Strange and Peter Parker. While the others dealt with the chaos left over on Earth, Rocket and Thor had travelled over to Titan using Stormbreaker in search of their friends. Unfortunately, they'd come back empty-handed.

"There were clear signs of a battle. The Milano wasn't there though, so I'm thinking whoever survived the battle and the Snap took our ship. Maybe they're even heading this way," Rocket had explained his thoughts. He'd then started making all sorts of adjustments and improvements to their equipment to calibrate for deep-space scanning and long-range communication channels in order to contact any surviving allies across the universe and get news of their friends or of the mad Titan, as there was still no clue to his whereabouts.

They'd all split up, doing the best they could. Rhodey was still in charge of communication and coordination with the government and search and rescue efforts with Steve on the east coast following the accidents and near disasters that had occurred, especially in New York City and the other major cities of the east coast, while Bruce put his many PhDs to good use to help out in several areas that needed support. Thor had found the half of the Asgardian refugee ship that hadn't been destroyed by Thanos and with help from one of Rocket's Scavengers contacts they'd managed to bring the survivors to Earth. The Asgardian god was now negotiating a settlement in Norway for his people. Natasha had been in charge of locating any allies that were still active and one of her first steps had been to go in search of Clint, of course, but by the time they came back to the US he had left his house and was already in the wind, which meant she'd have a hard time finding him. He was as good as she was on keeping low and going untraceable, after all.

Natasha had also found a modified pager when she'd gone chasing leads on Fury and Hill's whereabouts. That turned out to be the biggest discovery they had made so far and she soon realized it once it had stopped emitting a signal and suddenly a blonde woman in a blue and red battlesuit was standing at the compound with them. "Where's Fury?"

Her instincts made her act fast and the gun was in Natasha's left hand, pointed steadfastly at the stranger, before anyone else could even blink. "Who are you and how did you get here?"

Even with a gun mere inches from her face, the blonde only raised an eyebrow, a smirk seeming to pull at the corners of her mouth as she gazed unconcernedly back at her. "Relax, Romanoff. Using that on me would only get you hurt and I wouldn't want that."

Her expression remained cold and impassive as Natasha merely looked back at her, finger poised calmly over the trigger. "How do you know my name? And how did you bypass the security system?"

The smirk just pulled more on the corners of the blonde's lips. "I didn't bypass anything, I got in opening the doors with the retinal scan." One of Natasha's eyebrows flickered up at that. "Yeah, I'm in the system."

Green eyes narrowed back at the blonde. "How?"

"I believe Maria Hill included my information in the system when she was working here." Now she was the one raising her eyebrows at Natasha. "You're not the only one of Fury's favorites. Where is he?" She asked once more, looking around the room and taking note of the others there with them.

"We don't know," Steve said, narrowing his eyes at her, taking a step forward and a defensive stance beside Natasha, who still had her gun pointed straight at the woman. "How do you know Fury?"

The woman turned to him then, looking him up and down for a moment, a glimmer of recognition alighting her eyes. "The two of us go way back. He's the one who called me here. I left that pager with him for emergencies." She said, gesturing with her head towards the pager in the glass case behind them. "I came over as soon as I could, but I was a couple of galaxies away and it took awhile for the signal to reach me."

One of Natasha's eyebrows flickered up once more. "Huh. I guess you're Carol, then." She said softly, lowering her gun and holstering it, noticing the blonde's surprised eyes turning to her. "Yeah, I know about you, too."

"Would either of you care to tell us what the hell is going on then?" Rhodey said, eyebrows furrowed as he gestured exasperatedly with his hands at both women.

Natasha exchanged a quick look with the blonde, who nodded almost imperceptibly back at her. "Guys, meet Carol Danvers, a.k.a. Captain Marvel."

"Uh, that's supposed to be Mar-Vell," Carol drawled out and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Not according to your file. It said you're a former Air Force pilot and one of Nick's associates from back in the day when SHIELD first came in contact with aliens. When was it, 1995?" She turned conversationally to her, taking everyone by surprise, including their surprise guest.

"Yeah," Carol replied, crossing her arms over her chest then and narrowing her eyes back at her. "Fury didn't tell me you knew about me."

A ghost of a smirk pulled at the corners of Natasha's lips. "There's a lot he didn't tell either of us, apparently."

As Carol introduced herself properly to the team and exchanged a few handshakes, Steve pulled on Natasha's arm and they walked a few steps away from the others. "How do you know about this Carol Danvers?"

"It was in the files under the Avengers Initiative," Natasha said with an easy shrug. "Apparently she was the first extraordinary person Nick ever found, then he started keeping a roster of people who could be called in when the going got rough and they needed someone with special abilities to handle threats."

"I read those SHIELD files," Steve commented, raising an eyebrow at her. "I don't remember anything about her, and I have a pretty damn good memory."

"Hey, language. I think the correct term is 'eidetic', Steve," she called softly with a teasing smile. He only rolled his eyes at her, but a smile threatened to pull at the corners of his mouth and she counted that as a win and continued, getting back to what was important. "But I'm not talking about the SHIELD files. It's from Nick's personal files, the ones he gave me after faking his death." She'd been a little surprised to get them, as he'd said he'd destroyed almost everything after they'd taken down SHIELD, but she supposed that was his way to try to make up for the fact that he hadn't trusted her during his fake death incident.

"So you think we can trust her?" Steve asked then.

"Fury did," Natasha nodded firmly back at him. "From what's on her file, she seems to be the real deal. She single-handedly saved Earth from an alien attack then went on to settle some refugees and keep peace in space in places that needed help. So pretty much a legendary superhero, just like you." She finished by raising an eyebrow at him.

She noticed the muscles of his jaw tightening up, causing her to immediately regret her choice of words. Natasha knew how ever since they'd gone on the run Steve had been in conflict about his role as a hero. He'd left his shield and the image of Captain America behind, had even ripped away the star and stripes from his uniform. And things had only gotten worse now with their devastating defeat to Thanos and the horrible consequences that followed it.

"Well, let's hope she's the proverbial turn of the tide, then," he murmured and turned to get back to the others.

As the team went over the past events and caught Carol up on what had happened with the war for the Infinity Stones, she agreed that Fury had done the right thing by calling her over. As she quickly summarized her powers and abilities, they realized she would be a powerful and most welcomed ally if they had any hope of catching Thanos and reversing what had been done. Before they could actually get to that, Steve and Rhodey made a plea to see if Carol could help with finding their missing friends. It had been two weeks since the Snap, and Rocket had said the Milano should have reached them or one of their allies by now, but there was no word from Quill's ship.

"So you want me to find them?" Carol asked, quickly catching on and nodding back at them.

"We don't have any spaceships to go ourselves," Steve explained. "Thor can use Stormbreaker and head to other planets, but if they're stranded in space you would be our best bet. You said you can travel at the speed of light?"

"I can," she gave him another firm nod. "I got this. I'll head over to Titan and check the most likely routes to the nearest jump-points."

As she headed off with Rhodey to find Rocket and check on any info they had about Titan and the Milano that could be useful to her, Steve, Natasha and Bruce huddled closer together for a moment longer.

"You think there's a chance she'll find them?" Bruce asked, one finger pushing his glasses up his nose.

"We have to try," Steve said, frowning softly as he looked out as their new ally walked out the room. "We owe it to Tony."

Natasha looked at him in thought, taking in his words, then sighed deeply. "I'll call Pepper."

"Nat, are you sure that's a good idea?" Bruce said, turning to her with a concerned frown. "We don't even know if Carol will be able to find anything, let alone if there _is_ anything to find."

"Yes, I'm sure," Natasha replied at once, something of a hard edge in her voice as her green eyes turned sharply to him. "Whatever news we get, she'll want to know right away and it's the least she deserves. She's tough and she's kept busy at work, like us, but I know she's been nearly going out of her mind for the last two weeks."

Bruce swallowed hard and merely nodded mutely back at her, feeling promptly chastised and Natasha turned on her heels to walk out of the room. Steve watched her go and stayed behind, turning with something of an apologetic smile to the doctor. "Don't take it personally."

"Nah, it's okay. I should've minded my words," Bruce shook away his concern easily with an embarrassed smile. "It's not like I don't want to find Tony. I want nothing more than getting him back here and then we could all go after that purple bastard and turn everything back to the way things were, just like old times. But…" He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders despondently as words failed him at the moment.

"I know," Steve nodded solemnly back at him, knowing exactly what he'd meant. Even for someone perceived as the consummate optimist like Steve, it was hard to keep high hopes in their circumstances. They were silent for a few moments before he sighed deeply. "But she's right. Nat and Pepper have been calling each other daily now, she'll want to know of any new developments."

As CEO of one of the biggest multinational companies in the world, Pepper was keeping them updated on what was happening out there in the real world while they turned their eyes to the skies and the universe in search of Thanos and kept track of his destruction and supported the areas that had been most affected following the sudden disappearance of billions on Earth.

After leaving the others, Natasha went straight to her office and closed the door behind her. Leaning her back against the door for a moment, she paused and thought about how strange it was that she was back in her office at the Avengers compound like it was just another day in her life. Almost as if she hadn't spent two years on the run, moving from safe houses to crappy hotel rooms as they ran their secret missions and liaised with whatever contacts from Fury or Hill that they could meet along the way.

Almost as if half the world hadn't suddenly vanished with a careless snap of fingers.

Sitting behind her desk, she dialed the long ago memorized number in the telephone system, following part of a routine that had been established as soon as they'd gotten back stateside. "Hey, Pepper."

"Nat, hi." The strawberry blonde said in reply over the phone line, her voice sounding rather breathless. A lot of background noise could be heard so she assumed the CEO was still at SI, despite the lateness and that business hours were long over. "I'm sorry, I know I missed our daily check in. Wall Street opened up again today and it was just─_crazy_ here. You'd think after everything that happened, people would have more to worry about than their stock value." She finished with a long sigh.

"Well, you can bet that some things never change." Natasha commented easily in a dry tone, then she lightly cleared her throat before continuing. "Listen, we uh─we may have a new lead."

"On Thanos?" Pepper gasped back in reply.

"Maybe." Natasha murmured carefully. "I don't want to get your hopes up, but we got some unexpected reinforcements here and our priority at the moment is searching for Tony and the others that went missing in Titan."

"_Oh_." Pepper breathed out and grew silent for a few beats before the next words came out in a rush. "I'm heading over right now."

Sometime later, Pepper arrived in her car at the Avengers compound. When Rhodey had first made contact with her back in Wakanda she had kept in touch with the team and everything that was going on, but she'd been holed up in Stark Industries so far while they communicated via telephone or remote holographic teleconferences, so this was the first time she had driven upstate to meet them in person.

As she walked into the building and made her way through the familiar place, Pepper stopped in her tracks as a tall, blonde figure stepped out of a room halfway down the hall. "Steve." She called out softly as she stared at him. He looked so different with the long hair and the beard that she'd been rather startled, his posture not at all the way she remembered him as this quietly confident leader, but now a hardened, somehow darker version of himself. It was the first time they were seeing each other after over two years, as Steve had been conspicuously absent whenever she talked to Rhodey or Natasha during the past two weeks.

"Pepper." He snapped his head her way when he heard her voice and felt frozen in his spot as they just stared at each other for a moment, then suddenly Pepper was striding with purposeful steps towards him. Steve frowned a little at this, trying to read her movements and intentions, but before he realized it, she was already standing in front of him and bringing her hand up. He flinched, expecting her to slap or even punch him. "Hey!" He exclaimed in surprise, then repeated in a softer tone once he realized she was actually hugging him. "Hey." He found himself raising his arms and hugging her back, and after a long moment she let him go and stepped back. "Are you okay? What was that for?" Steve asked, still frowning in confusion. This was definitely not the reaction he expected from her after his big fight with Tony over the Sokovia Accords and Bucky.

She looked up at him, a sad, soft smile playing at her lips. "I watched Tony go away in a spaceship that attacked New York then people simply vanished in front of my eyes." She said, shaking her head a little. "I know you and Tony had your differences and that it got complicated and it got ugly." She paused and her blue eyes grew misty before she continued. "But I also know he loves you and I'm glad you're still here."

Steve could only look at her, feeling speechless as his eyes glistening up a little as he took in her words. He'd always thought Pepper Potts was incredibly strong, calm and level-headed─she had to be in order to be in a relationship with someone as maddening as Tony Stark. Now he realized just how loving and forgiving she could be as well. After a few stunned moments, he could only nod back at her, a too simple gesture to thank her for something that meant so much to him, but it was all he managed then.

Natasha had watched them from the doorway to her office, a small smile on her lips as she waited a few moments before joining them in the hallway. The two women also shared a tight hug before Natasha took Pepper towards the hangar where Rhodey was still talking to Rocket and Carol Danvers. Swift introductions were made to the CEO of Stark Industries.

"Captain Danvers, Nat has brought me up to speed on everything," Pepper said, shaking her hand. "I'm so glad you're here and that you're willing to help us out."

"Of course," Carol said, nodding back at her. "I only wish Fury had called me earlier, maybe none of this would've happened."

"No point wasting our time with could-have-beens," Pepper replied, shaking her head a little.

"She's right," Rhodey agreed, standing with them with his arms crossed over the chest. "We need to focus on what we can do now."

"We're calibrating your equipment to catch Carol's communicator range and then we're tracing likely routes from Titan that the Milano could be on," the talking raccoon Rocket said then from his point where he was tinkering with the communication equipment on the hangar.

Pepper blinked her eyes at this and paused for a moment, before nodding at him and thanking everyone. Raging green monsters, Norse Gods, 1940's super soldiers, murderous robots, sentient AIs and witches had been part of her life for a while now. It seemed fitting to add a genius, alien, talking raccoon to the list then. At least it was one more ally to help with this newest fight for their lives.

Despite her apparent calm demeanor, Natasha could read something in Pepper's expression that indicated this day was taking its toll on her. She easily excused them then and steered them back towards her office. As her friend nearly collapsed down on the couch and heaved a heavy sigh, Natasha rummaged through her cabinet then sat down beside her holding two glasses and a scotch siphon.

"I usually drink vodka, but I thought this would be nice after the day we've had," Natasha explained as she handed Pepper one of the glasses and poured her a healthy amount of the liquid. "It's from Tony's personal stash."

Pepper gave her a tired smile back and they made a silent toast. They spent a few minutes sitting quietly side by side as they sipped from their glasses and enjoyed each other's company and soothing presence.

Given how the two of them had met nearly a decade before some people may have been surprised by the fact that Natasha Romanoff and Pepper Potts were actually good friends. There had been some initial tension there when the former Russian spy had gone undercover at Stark Industries as Natalie Rushman and then weaved her way as Tony's personal secretary to keep an eye on him for SHIELD, but after that had been cleared up and once the Avengers had been formed both women realized they genuinely enjoyed each other's company. During the time when they'd all resided together at the Avengers Tower they'd grown closer and also learned it was nice to have someone to commiserate and get away from their testosterone-powered roommates for a little while.

They had almost finished their drinks in complete silence before Pepper turned back to her and spoke up again. "So tell me, how are you all doing?" She asked, watching attentively as Natasha's green eyes darted back to her. "How's Steve? He looks so different with that beard and I'm still not over your platinum blonde hair either. You know, if you were going for inconspicuous it was a near miss." She commented with a smile, looking pointedly at her hair. She'd always thought Natasha already stood out in a crowd with her looks and usual red hair, but her new look certainly wasn't doing anything to help keeping a low profile.

Natasha gave her a slight smile back as she reached for the siphon and poured another dose on their glasses. "Steve said the same thing, but there were lots of blondes where we were staying before… well, before everything, so I didn't stand out as much." She paused, losing her smile as she thought over how to best answer her question. "We're… still getting adjusted to being back here. Trying to do what we can to help." She put the bottle back on the coffee table and leaned sideways on the couch to give Pepper her full attention.

"I'm glad you're back." Pepper said, reaching for the other woman's free hand with her own. "You have no idea how much I've missed our talks and get-togethers the past two years."

"I missed you, too." Natasha admitted, grabbing her hand back and a sparkle lighting up her eyes. "I can imagine you were going insane, dealing only with Tony, Rhodey and Vision all this time."

"Yeah, you were lucky." Pepper said, huffing a little at that. "At least you had Wanda to break through all of that testosterone." Her smile disappeared then and she added in a softer tone, "I'm so sorry about her."

Natasha's smile also vanished and she only nodded back in appreciation as she looked down and blinked her eyes a few times. She still found it difficult to handle all the loss they'd suddenly experienced and for someone who had always been so much in control of her emotions, she found it incredibly infuriating that she couldn't seem to go through this without getting tears in her eyes now. After a moment, she recovered herself and looked back at the other woman with a half smile. "I'm sorry for bailing on you and leaving you with only the guys for company."

"Well, I did become friends with May Parker, Peter's aunt, after she found out about his being Spider-Man," Pepper said with a smile. "We could relate, the two of us being just outside the lines, trying to keep from worrying ourselves to death while they were out there doing the hero thing."

"I'll bet that wasn't easy." Natasha remarked with raised eyebrows, then she swallowed hard before speaking again. "You know, I tried very hard to convince Tony not to recruit a fifteen-year-old to join the fight," she said, feeling like she needed to explain herself there, as everything had happened so fast two years before and they'd never talked about this. "But we were outmatched and we were desperate at the time. I─I think I was selfish, I only wanted to keep St─to keep _everyone_ safe," she said, catching herself and shaking her head a little. "Now among the many mistakes we made back then I also think I should've fought harder against it."

"From what Tony told me and what I know of him, that kid would've kept doing what he was doing anyway." Pepper said with an understanding smile. She knew better than anyone how hard it was to go against Tony once he got something in his head, and though recruiting a teenager to fight with them had not been his brightest idea, she'd also understood his reasoning. "He'd been at it for six months before Tony found him. He is stubborn and ingenious like that, seems to think it's his responsibility and he kept getting into trouble by himself anyway. Maybe he would've been even less prepared if he'd been on his own." She simply shrugged her shoulders, smiling a little. "At least Tony gave him a suit with all sorts of things to help him out and I promised May we would do everything we could to keep him safe."

Natasha attempted to give a smile back before sipping her drink. "How is she? Have you heard from her?"

Pepper's smile disappeared in an instant and she looked down at her glass. "No, I… She was in her apartment." She swallowed hard and cleared her throat before continuing. "I went over to check on her, but it looks like she was one of the people who… who vanished away." She finished in a small voice, looking back up.

For a moment, Natasha could only look at her, feeling the knot forming in her throat again and this nearly unbearable sense of loss crashing through her whole body. "I'm so sorry, Pep." She shook her head, not knowing what else to do or say.

"She called me as soon as she'd heard the news of Iron Man and Spider-Man fighting an alien threat in Manhattan that day." Pepper kept on talking. "She was freaking out and she was sure Peter was with Tony, wherever they were. And now…" She paused, heaving a sigh as she looked up at the ceiling, blinking her eyes a few times before she looked back at her and continued. "I don't know what's worse, not knowing where they are, if they're even alive or dreading having to tell Peter about his aunt."

"I can't imagine how hard this is for you." Natasha said softly as she frowned in thought at that notion. She hadn't had to deliver such news to anyone while they were living this nightmare, and the sitting and waiting around to hear about Tony was hard, but certainly nothing compared to the agony that Pepper must be going through.

"I've done it before." Pepper said, almost as if she'd heard her thoughts. "The waiting, then hearing he's most likely dead and how I should prepare myself for the worst." She elaborated, and unexpectedly a smile formed on her lips. "The first time that happened was actually just a crazy weekend in Vegas on my first year as his secretary." She huffed out a small laugh and Natasha joined her at that. "And the second time was something similar in Monte Carlo. There were several crazy nights in LA, Rio, Tokyo─I got used to all that." Pepper said with a dismissively waving hand, before she grew more introspective and continued in a softer tone. "Then there were three months in a cave in Afghanistan. A giant hole in the sky of New York. Our house in Malibu blowing up." She heaved a sigh then shook her head a little. "After that, every time he flew out in one of his suits, I thought I'd go crazy with all the worry and I started to resent everything and everyone for needing Iron Man, most of all Tony himself." She arched an eyebrow at that last observation, then her lips pulled back in a grimace. "And I bailed out."

"But you got back." Natasha noted, also arching an eyebrow back at her. "You're still here."

Pepper nodded a little back at her before replying. "When he came back from Siberia, it was like he was a different man. What happened there…" She interrupted herself, as she noted the unease in Natasha's expression. "I don't mean finding out about his parents. But losing Steve, losing you, the Avengers… It was too much for him. And in the time we spent apart, I realized… I can't stop loving him." She said, shrugging her shoulders in an almost helpless manner. "So I came back to be here, next to him, facing whatever comes up. I know someday the world, _this fight_ is going to take him away from me. I think I always knew that, from the first moment I saw him wearing that suit. But I also know that as long as he's alive he'll always come back to me, he'll fight like hell to get back. And I'm not giving up until he does."

Natasha nodded firmly back at her, feeling somewhat energized by her words. "We'll find him, Pepper."

"I know." Pepper gave her a small smile. They were silent for a few moments before she continued in a conversational tone. "You know, my constant fight with Tony had always been about this obsession he had with 'saving the world'." She punctuated the words with a small roll of the eyes. "I thought that was just his ego, guilty consciousness and paranoia getting the best of him. Like he couldn't believe the world would be protected unless he was directly involved with it. Which is what started this whole Avengers thing and what kept him constantly tinkering with his suits and inventions and how he just couldn't seem to let go of it. And I hated it so much, because it only added fuel to this crazy idea of his." She paused, shaking her head a little as she looked out at the opposite wall, her eyes far away as if she were actually seeing something else. "And then it turned out he was right all along."

Pepper thought back on that conversation in Central Park, just before Dr. Stephen Strange stepped out of a portal bringing Bruce with him and changing their lives all of a sudden. How Tony had talked about their future and wanting kids and how she didn't want that for them as long as he'd keep on fighting this fight, how she wanted him to give it up and how he insisted his latest suit was a just-in-case scenario.

Tony Stark had always been a visionary, so it was no wonder his vision of this horrible future filled with his greatest fears ─ his monsters in the closet ─ turned out to be actually true.

"I was wrong." Pepper said then, turning back to Natasha with a small self-deprecating smile. "The threat he felt all this time is real and the world needs heroes, now more than ever."

Natasha took her words in, thinking of what Fury had once said about heroes being an old-fashioned notion and that maybe it was what the world needed back when they first formed the Avengers. She hoped they managed to find Tony and that it would push them all to do what needed to be done now.

* * *

A.N.: This goes out to my latest anonymous reviewer, but it can also be a general request for anyone out there. So I guess it's no surprise that I'm writing this purely for fun and I'm not a professional writer (otherwise I'd be earning money with this and sadly, no money). I've poured my heart and soul into every piece of writing I do, it's kind of ridiculous the amount of time I spend thinking of my stories even more than writing them, and I'm fallible like everyone else, so I'll make mistakes. However I never intend to hurt or disrespect anyone and I apologize if I've done so. I'm also not American, so I actually do not know why I insist on writing using terms like inches or miles as they honestly make no sense to me (it just sounds better in my head, I guess, after so much exposure to American media). This is chapter 19 so if you've been reading the story so far I assume there's something about it that you like. When I read fanfics I don't always leave comments so I understand how a lot of people don't review and just read or follow or favorite it ─ either way, it's always appreciated! But if you're going to leave any criticism I'd just ask to leave it in a constructive, encouraging, _kind_ manner. Getting those review emails in my inbox is always very exciting and it can make my day when otherwise I'm dealing with a lot of crap on a personal level (re: what I said about my depression in my first author's note), so opening that message to read someone just criticizing my choice of descriptive words in a scathing, superior tone is very frustrating, disappointing and can turn my day from bad to worse. I want to learn and I want to get better based on what others think of my writing, of course. I just think we could all make the world a better place by being nice to each other ─ it won't cost you a thing and it can even turn someone's day around for the best. :)


	20. Heroes

**Disclaimer:** The Avengers, its characters and The Marvel Cinematic Universe belong to Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company, among many others. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this film franchise and personal pleasure.

A.N.: Thank you all for the lovely reviews and encouraging words! I'm still here, I'm alive and well, and getting my writing rhythm back (and getting sidetracked by other fandoms, as usual), but I've updated my outline and I'm nearly certain we have five more chapters to go to finalize this Romanogers saga and I'm glad people are still sticking with it. :)

This is set right before Endgame starts, following the last chapter.

* * *

**To Build a Home**

_20\. Heroes_

It had been a few days now since Carol Danvers had suddenly come into their lives, bringing with her a new hope that something could be done to resolve this mess they'd gotten themselves into and reenergizing the team. With Captain Marvel out in space looking for their missing friends and Pepper's presence at the compound, Natasha started to feel there was a glimmer of light at the end of this very dark tunnel that currently encompassed their lives.

Her conversations with Pepper had been vital to give her some much needed perspective. In addition to having a heavy weight lifted off her shoulders by knowing her friend didn't fault her for past actions that had constantly plagued her mind over the last couple of years, Pepper's words on how the world needed heroes, now more than ever, had been stuck in her mind.

The world was still reeling after the sudden disappearance of billions, yet over the course of their history, it was clear that humans were nothing if not highly resilient and adaptable. All over the globe people were starting to rally and do what they could to pick up the pieces and get life back to some semblance of normalcy. But there were also those taking advantage of the state of disarray to put forth their own agendas, gaining power over others, instilling dominance through fear and violence. And those people needed to be stopped.

The team was focusing their efforts on looking for Tony and Thanos for now, but Natasha had already set in motion a few things in the background for when they'd be able to give some attention to these issues later on. After all, Avenging was a 24/7 type of job and even with half the people gone, the world kept on spinning.

But that was for later, if ─ _when_ ─ they were able to solve the biggest of their problems. Right now she needed to deal with something else entirely revolving around convincing Steve to don his Captain America uniform once more.

When they'd come back stateside it had all been sort of a mad rush ─ Natasha had flown over to the Barton's family farm while Steve and Rhodey set off to aid in several rescue efforts along cities of the east coast. There had been some talk from the President's office that it would be better for optics if they wore the official Captain America and Iron Patriot uniforms, but both men had brushed it off, saying it was more important to help straight away in order to save lives than worry about what they were wearing ─ and it had been such a poignant statement in face of such tragedy that no one argued back on that. But now Natasha could actually see there was a point to what the White House had said.

Since the world needed heroes, it made sense that it would be good for morale if people could rally behind a symbol and who would be better than their original national hero? Even if Tony's Iron Man had also become an icon for those fighting the good fight, he was missing at the moment and out of everyone in the Avengers there was no one quite as inspirational as Steve Rogers. And that was exactly what Natasha planned on telling him now.

Night had fallen long ago and in the dark she roamed the halls in search of him, finding Steve sitting by himself at a table in the common kitchen with a half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of him, a slight frown present between his eyebrows and his eyes staring down at the table yet seeming so far away. She quietly approached and sat down next to him, waiting until he noticed her presence.

After a few moments, he blinked up and looked at her, a near smile tugging at the corners of his mouth before disappearing altogether. "Hungry?" Steve asked her quietly with raised eyebrows, looking as if he'd slide the plate with half of his sandwich over to her or maybe even get up to get her something from the kitchen.

However Natasha only shook her head in reply and remained sitting next to him, so he slumped back in his chair. "Yeah, me neither." He huffed out, pushing his plate away.

Meals had been sparse at the compound and no one seemed to sit down together these days, as there was no appetite and the idea of socializing outside of anything work related seemed almost preposterous. They worked at a nearly non-stop rhythm and when energy levels became too low they'd search for food, crash down for sleep and grab a shower, maybe. Nearly everyone had burned out a few hours ago, but Steve and Natasha were always the last to go, usually around the same time Rhodey and Bruce would be getting back up. It was almost as if they'd scheduled to work around shifts so that someone would be up at any time, but it had happened without any conscious planning.

"So…" Natasha murmured softly and trailed off as she waited for Steve to look back at her. "We need to talk."

That may have been the wrong opening to use, as he narrowed his eyes at her and his whole body reacted as if he were ready to bolt out the door and get ready for battle. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"Nothing happened." She assured him right away, holding out a hand as if wanting to keep him in his seat with the mere gesture. She'd been about to automatically add that everything was okay, but that phrase had never been farther from the truth these days, so she chose her words more carefully. "There's been no new developments. But there's something we do need to discuss."

He relaxed considerably at her reassurances, leaning back on the chair once more but a small frown formed between his eyebrows as he waited for her to go on. "What is it?" He asked, then added with a little bit of dry humor. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Natasha couldn't help the small smile tugging at her lips. Who would have thought that Steve Rogers, the same man that years before had been at such a loss with the most common cultural references would now be using one to try to put her at ease? "Quite the opposite, actually." She replied, her near smile turning into an almost smirk. "I wanted you to make a big, public commitment." She paused for a moment before amending her statement. "We need you to be Captain America again."

His blue eyes gleamed with too many emotions swirling in them suddenly. "Nat…" He sighed, looking down at the table, his figure slumping further on the chair, if possible.

"Hear me out, okay?" She said pleadingly, reaching out to grab one of his hands on top of the table. "I know that when we came back from Wakanda you didn't want to don your old uniforms and I didn't fight you on that then. But I _am_ gonna make an appeal to you now."

He looked up at her with that slight frown between his eyebrows once more. "Why? What's changed?"

She lifted an eyebrow back at him in response. "Half the world's population disappeared in the blink of an eye and humanity is at the brink of chaos."

"That was still true when we came back from Wakanda." Steve said, narrowing his eyes a little. He pulled his hand out of her grasp, but leaned forward to give her his full attention. He was still guarded, but not as defensive as he continued. "Why are you asking me that _now_?"

"I've had time to think and some help putting things in perspective." She said, leaning back on her chair and nodding a little as she elaborated on her train of thought. "We need hope, Steve. The world needs to see that there are still those who are standing up to fight and do what's right. That even with all the loss and heartache we suffered and unpredictability that the future holds, we still pledge to protect what's left of us and make a stand. The world needs the Avengers, now more than ever. We can't fail them again."

"You're an Avenger as well." It was his turn to raise an eyebrow at her, the ghost of a smile tugging at his mouth. "You're always standing up to fight right next to me."

"The Black Widow is an assassin working in the shadows." She interjected, and raised a hand as he opened his mouth to protest. "I'm not talking about how I see myself, I'm talking about public perception. Of the Avengers or anyone here with us, there's no one quite as inspirational as you or anyone who symbolizes so much what this fight is all about."

"I don't know about that." He shook his head a little, looking down at the floor then back at her. "We have Danvers now."

She raised an eyebrow at him and bobbed her head left and right for a moment. "Carol may be a renowned superhero in the universe, but not to everyone on Earth. In fact, she's been pretty much in the shadows until now."

"If you want a legendary hero, there's Thor." He said softly, the corners of his mouth lifting up a little.

"He's considered an Asgardian god, so not exactly relatable to most of us." She countered, narrowing her eyes as she resisted the urge to smirk back at him, sensing what he was doing here. "I was thinking someone more local would be better."

"Then what about Rhodes?" Steve suggested, raising both eyebrows at her still with that barely there smile.

"Okay, Rhodey is also a national symbol," Natasha complied with a nod, her own lips pulling up a little as she raised a challenging eyebrow back. "But of the two of you, who has an entire wing dedicated to them in the Smithsonian?" He rolled his eyes a little but made no further protest, so she carried on. "Face it, Steve. Shield or no shield, you're still someone who can stand in the light, that people can see and rally behind." She paused then added in a softer, quieter tone. "We _need_ that. _I_ need that."

It was rare for Natasha to make such personal admissions or requests, especially with the vulnerable undertone that could be heard in her usually cool, collected voice. A part of her wondered if she was subconsciously manipulating Steve into doing what she needed him to do. Another part of her knew that very few people would ever get to see this side of her and one of them was definitely Steve Rogers ─ hell, they'd probably already seen each other at their lowest in the last few years.

He looked at her for a long minute, his blue eyes searching for something in her green ones. She just sat there and stared right back, being as open as she could under his piercing stare. After a moment, a new resolve alighted in his eyes and he sighed deeply. "Okay, then you got me." He paused and that near smile tugged at the corner of his lips once more. "But I'm gonna need you to do something for me first."

She tilted her head a little, curious as she hadn't expected any conditions from his side once he actually agreed to it. "What is it?"

"Give me a haircut?" He asked and seemed to resist the urge to chuckle before her surprised raise of the eyebrows. "I don't think this wild 'nomad' look really goes with the Captain America uniform." He looked up, indicating his long hair as he also scrubbed a hand over his bearded jaw.

"Are you sure?" She asked him, parrying back with a quick smirk as she drawled out. "You were really pulling off the scruffy bearded look."

"Positive." He huffed out a near laugh under his breath. "I'll take care of the beard, but I need help with the hair."

"Alright, soldier." She nodded gamely back at him, getting up from her chair. "I'll get my scissors."

A few minutes later Natasha was back at the kitchen with a set of hair scissors, an electric razor and a spray bottle. Steve sat on the chair and waited patiently as she analytically looked him over for a moment then started to work on his hair. She'd always been the one to make changes to her own hair ─ one of the many abilities she'd learned during her training in the Red Room ─ so she knew what she was doing and Steve trusted her judgement.

"How about you?" He asked, tilting his head back a little and looking at her upside down as she stood up behind him. "Are you dying your hair back?"

"Do you think it would make that much of a difference?" She raised an eyebrow, tilting his head forward with her hand so she could keep working on his hair. "I've always changed my hair over the years, anyway. I didn't exactly have a signature look, unlike you with your clear cut good boy looks or Tony's goatee and sunglasses."

"I don't know." He said with a slight shrug of the shoulders. "I got used to your various shades of blonde, but sometimes I miss the red." He admitted in a whisper.

She stilled her hand and paused on cutting for a second, feeling a little surprised that he'd ever say something like that. "Well, I'll take that under advisement." She replied with some humor in her voice as she continued working through his long locks of hair. She could see out of the corner of her eye how his lips turned up in a soft smile.

They remained in silence as she kept on cutting his hair, both of them just being in the moment and each other's company. As Natasha finished up and held up a mirror so that he could see the final result, Steve nodded once in approval and got up from the chair. "Thanks, Nat."

"Anytime." She replied right away, and held onto his arm as he turned to head out of the kitchen. "Hey." She paused and he looked back at her as she worried her bottom lip for a moment, as if unsure of what to say. Finally, she just looked back at him and shrugged her shoulders casually. "Thanks."

Natasha knew what she'd been asking of him. It wouldn't be easy for Steve to take on the mantle of Captain America once more, especially with Tony still missing, as they hadn't talked since Siberia when he'd left his shield behind. But they owed it to everyone that was still there and especially those who weren't to give it their all if they had any hope of going after Thanos and fighting back.

Steve just looked back at her, seeming to understand everything that she was trying to tell him with that one word. A grim smile formed on his lips as he reached over and squeezed her shoulder lightly before he gathered up his shaving kit and headed to the bathroom. It was time for Captain America to officially come back out of hiding.

* * *

A.N.: I started writing this six months ago, but it's sort of amazing how a lot that was written here for the Avengers can fit into what we're living right now. The real life heroes that are keeping our world turning now are the medical and healthcare professionals, scientists and essential workers who are risking themselves every day out there as they fight this war, so we need to do our part to help them out as well. **Stay home, stay safe, and flatten the curve** ─ wherever you may be. This too shall pass, and I'm sure humanity will come out better and stronger in the end.


End file.
